Hey folks, I've been going through the usual TMS work for about a month now. I was first diagnosed with a herniated disc back in November (~8 months ago), following an accident in the gym (leg pressing ~500lbs when my back arched in accidentally). I saw three doctors, one of them saying I might never sit again due to an annular tear. The other two doctors weren't overly concerned, so the last one was probably just an idiot. I spent the next several months unable to sit, which sucked since I work a full time job and attend an MBA program at night. Today, I can sit, but not comfortably and not always without pain. I received my TMS diagnosis last month and have seen--generally--some improvement. But I keep ending up back in pain. I am working with a TMS psychotherapist, but not seeing much results there. I did the TMS lectures here in NYC for an audacious $900, which I really didn't find helpful. My problem is that I keep ending up back in pain. One day might be OK, and then the next few are suffering. And I still get uncomfortable sitting. Worst of all, I have terrible conditioned pain when I lean forward. In fact, it's at the point where sitting and leaning forward on my elbows (almost like a shortstop in Baseball) will cause my pain to re-emerge and last for as much as two days after doing so. That alone keeps thrusting me back into "structural land." That lasting pain doesn't make sense to me as TMS! It's so tough. I'm really just getting torn up. My hope is fading fast with all of these days of seeming success, followed by days of regressing back. It's two steps forward and two steps back, it seems. I can't shake the idea of structural out of my head, given the increase in lasting pain I get from a very specific position (and the seemingly permanent discomfort I have while sitting). I also struggle so heavily with finding anger and, in general, journaling. I've lived such a fortunate life, with pretty wealthy and loving parents. I wasn't abused or harassed. I had my share of upsets as a kid, but nothing that I can find as being major. I can't figure out where the repressed rage is coming from (I know that I do hold back anger sometimes, but it's never about a big event)... that just leaves me even further entrenched in "structural" as I think back to my injury coming on so traumatically. I'm getting very depressed, scared, and disheartened. I'm only 28 and this is killing me. Has anyone suffered through similar conditioning that caused lasting pain, or struggled with finding their repressed emotions? I'm starting to notice myself thinking too much about this as a structural thing, and I know that's doing nothing but hurting my chances at the recovery I desire.