At what point is it best to give up?

[BloodMoon]

25 years of feeling, being aware and expressing my emotions, anger, fear, grief etc, has literally been zero benefit for me though

What about the aspect of making your brain feel safe? What have you been consistently doing in that respect to gradually neuroplastically rewire your brain? If nothing, my suggestion is to start practising some messages of safety, or if you have been doing this type of work, consider adding to it.

As I mentioned before, making my brain feel safer is what I found I needed to do to go from being bedridden and housebound with a myriad of symptoms to include profound CFS, to functioning pretty well by comparison these days. Experiencing my emotions wasn't a particular issue for me, so it may not be the whole of the issue/story for you either. Although I dare say I have some buried rage that I don't know about, I've always had a load of emotions floating about and felt them, anger etc., to no avail.

Consistently doing the techniques in this book -- '101 Ways to Find Calm: How to use your body to soothe your mind' by Rebekah Ballagh -- have been profoundly helpful to me; the illustrations may be cutesy but don't let fool you into thinking that they aren't powerfully effective: https://www.amazon.com/101-Ways-Find-Calm-soothe/dp/1991006039/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1OOOHGPH1VU5Y&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ZAAziUqYmD0AAxeXlRCZqd22fa7iDuYEjff4wEPr31vvCGyt9QuCP9vsnL0HZmvzEENDfs_52jc-fTCdHqCeLHKzudPFtWEBFqL1qsMDHcQQmFp7Qn_zCa1hHpsIXmKfh_S7PJ72Zkk3FRl3vghDptq3zJ37pYwDgOPAc5_lPY-O-n6IUnMDLOwz9jRcHwVoCpSMtIXSF8RqRgDb4lRX4khFN5wCRg0dkwG67LzldbY.7pCyoDAcDbZiJESpuijBxV0ybxDoWAy0G5HUC0AuXI4&dib_tag=se&keywords=101+calm&qid=1767450203&sprefix=101+calm,aps,248&sr=8-1

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I'll try a new suggestion, @Lee222, which is looking into the role of victimhood in your psychological profile. I'm sensing victim mentality in your initial post and several of your responses. I'm no expert, just seen a lot in 14 years.

The big problem with victimhood is that it is anathema to TMS recovery. It's also not necessarily easy to just banish - in some cases it plays such a significant role in the psyche, the individual needs help to develop a clear and desirable alternative to replace it with.

That being said, I've seen people turn victimhood around simply by having it pointed out. Unfortunately, I've seen plenty of others who continue to respond "Yes, but..." to subtly reject advice and suggestions. This is your tendency.

I see what @Mani was trying to do with his questions, earlier, but you managed to deflect them. Have you ever encountered the ACEs questionnaire? It's about exposing the truth of your childhood experiences so you can face them and acknowledge the damage done. It's not about the score, it's about the discovery. Because, as Nicole Sachs assures us, "no one escapes childhood unscathed".
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/aces-quiz-online-printable-versions.27061

 

[Lee222]

I don't believe that, I slip into it at times but each time I do more fatigue kicks in, I'm very positive about that usually but at times it's difficult