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At the end of the road

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by UkAdR, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. UkAdR

    UkAdR Peer Supporter

    Hi all,

    Just wondering if anyone got to the stage I am at with their healing in TMS. I have thrown everything I have at this healing for the last 7 months and feel that in the long run I haven't really gotten anywhere. I have journalled tonnes, even honestly to the point of real pain (after watching Nicole Sach's video), have meditated, visualised, affirmed and done as much as I could. I had a few months where the pain had decreased a little, but realistically it hadn't too much as I was still on 4 quite strong painkillers a day.

    I have been to see my doctor today about what other pain killers I could possibly have as I felt that my body is becoming tolerant to my current prescription, and he was very understanding. He talked me through things, but has said that I can't live forever on painkillers. I will continue to grow tolerant and work my way up through the pain killing ladder until I end up on morphine or something.

    Obviously I don't want that. I have become so despondent as I really believed I have TMS, but just lately the difference in my story to so many others has made me doubt.

    It definitely helped to resolve some shoulder, neck and upper back tension I was having, but it hasn't touched the pain in my lower back. That has remained as bad as ever and I am still no where closer to getting to the point of dropping my reliance on the pain medication to allow me to function. My doctor seriously wants me to consider surgery. I know that this doesn't work for some, but it is becoming my only option to hope for some improvement to allow me to be a good husband and father.

    I was hoping that people knew of others who got to this point even after finding out about and trying the TMS approach for so long.

    Thanks for the understanding and support you've all given in the past folks - I really hope I can get over this hump but as the title suggests, this may be it for me for the time being.
  2. Ryan

    Ryan Well known member

    Hang in there, have you ever been to see a tms doctor and get the diagnosis? If you haven't you might need the white coat doctor stamp to build confidence in yourself on the diagnosis. With the doubt you have comes fear, you can't have one foot in and the other out of the tms diagnosis. You have to whole hearty believe it's caused by your emotions and your body is strong.

    Many people take years to heal, but if you keep calender watching you will perpetuate the tms. Steve ozanich took I believe over 2 years to heal. If you have not read his book I recommend you do. It's the great pain deception.

    I don't know your whole story, but you may have work to do. Try to stop healing so much and live life. Once I surrendered and stop trying so hard to do this or that method was when my real healing began. Acceptance is a true gift once you learn how to truly use it. As Carl Jung said what you resists will persists. Find what works for you, but you must believe deeply that your body is ok. Once you find the truth you will be set free.

    You can heal don't give up. Faith and perseverance go a long way in healing. Find your passion in life, live for others and your higher power if you have one. We all have a purpose on this earth, no matter how down you may feel. Wishing you the best of luck. We are what we believe.

    Last edited: Nov 12, 2014
    Ellen likes this.
  3. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Have you read SteveO's book?
  4. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    FYI: You can edit your original post by just hitting "edit" at bottom left of post.
    Ryan and Tennis Tom like this.
  5. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle


    Rather than viewing this as the end of the road, how about just taking a break? Sometimes we all just need to stop trying so hard for awhile. Focus on enjoying life to the maximum. Let the progress you've made seep in and settle for awhile. Keep the door open.
    Anne Walker, yb44 and Ryan like this.
  6. UkAdR

    UkAdR Peer Supporter

    Yeah I have read many books on TMS, Steve O's, Fred Amir's, Georgie Oldfields, Sarno's. I can see that view point and while I deliberate again about what the doctor has said I will be default have a break. Its so tough though not having any real pain reduction. I am so incredibly sick of the pain and the limitations that it is putting on myself and my family now that I am at the point that I am willing to do anything for it. I thought that putting my faith and determination in TMS was that anything, but the lack of progress is very discouraging.

    Don't get me wrong, I do believe in TMS. I have always had doubts and difficulties believing that it is cause for some of the more serious conditions such as cancer etc. In the same vain, I think that TMS is definitely the cause for some back pain, and was a component in my own shoulder and neck pain as calming down, not worrying about it and journaling has alleviated that pain pretty much completely.

    My lower back pain has however remained consistent, ever present and has gotten worse to some degree.
  7. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    I feel for you guy, but I won't beat around the bush, you're not new here and it won't help you to be enabled by hand-holding. My take-away from your above words is that you do NOT have a deep enough faith in TMS. You've read the books but don't think they apply to your case. Dr. Sarno in his books definitely says TMS applies to most everything including CANCER, ETC. You feel TMS is the cause of "some back pain". Dr. Sarno says it's the cause of almost ALL back pain, not just some. You feel it's "a component" but not the main component.

    From your words, I don't think there's much point in you wasting your time pursuing TMS as your cure. Dr. Sarno was quick to dissuade, through his initial interview process, those who would be amenable to his TMS/psychosomatic approach so as not to waste their time and money. Most people need TMS as a PROTECTOR/defense mechanism, was the good doctor's theory. It's too bad the UK has no MD's that can dx TMS, it sounds like you need to hear a white-coat telling you it's TMS to make you a believer.

    If you read the books and don't believe them, then I don't think reading more will help, you've made up your mind, TMS is for some things and a component in others, but not the whole enchilada for you. Maybe the surgical route is for you, Dr. Sarno says surgery is our best placebo.

    Last edited: Nov 12, 2014
  8. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    UkAdr, I think you just have to work on believing 100 percent that your pain is from TMS
    repressed emotions. Or a perfectionist personality. I'd keep at that work rather than surgery,
    although I'm not a doctor so my advice is from just someone who was healed by TMS knowledge.
  9. balto

    balto Beloved Grand Eagle

    UkAdr, try this for 2 weeks then schedule your surgery.

    For 2 weeks, refuse to be scare, afraid, worry, concern, terrify.... about any of your pain symptoms.

    That's it, that's all there is to it. That's all it will take to cure.
    TMS will never leave you if you worry or fear it.
    strong negative emotion lead to TMS, Fear of your symptoms keep TMS alive.
    No more fear, no more pain.

    The cure is very very simple, the hard part is how not to fear your pain symptoms.
    North Star and Ellen like this.
  10. Peggy

    Peggy Well known member

    It sounds to me like a new level of surrender is required. Also, along the lines of what balto said, surrender your thinking about it.
    Ellen likes this.
  11. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi. I know 7 months feels like a really long time, and it is a really a long time, especially when you are in pain. Truthfully, it took me well over a year and a half to get any consistent pain reduction. I remember so many, many days feeling trapped by the pain, desperate and very sad because it was so difficult to think of anything else. Pain is just terrible and I have tremendous respect for the power of physical pain. It can be so tortuous. I can't say that I am completely pain free, but it is not holding me hostage in the way it did before. I just don't think about it most of the time now and I have many more good days than bad. And even the bad days are not anything like the days in the past. That is pretty amazing since my life was dominated by one sort of chronic pain condition or another for over 20 years!! I do not know where you live, but I highly recommend seeing a therapist of some kind. I am not sure I would have made the progress I did without one. I first worked with a TMS therapist vis skype and then I worked with a Somatic Experiencing therapist locally. I switched because I felt I lived too much in my head and wanted to connect to my body more. Its a difficult thing to do when you are in pain because all I wanted to do was escape being present in my body. It may seem like everyone is having breakthroughs and pain reduction so much faster, but its just not the same for everyone. Try not to be hard on yourself for not having success sooner. Some people give up and never achieve it, but you will if you find a way to stick with it. And it is so worth it!!!
    Sheree, North Star and Ellen like this.
  12. alexandra

    alexandra Peer Supporter

    It took Steve Ozanich 18 months to be pain free, it has taken me 2 and a half years to reduce my pain to the point where I now live a very happy life but I still have some pain on and off. I have read that whenever there is fear, or doubt healing delays even more. Hang in there...
    Anne Walker and North Star like this.
  13. Sheree

    Sheree Well known member

    My advice would also be to hung on in there. I have just read a post titled Losing Hope. It is a question to a TMS specialist and I think his answer is very applicable to you. The answers on this posts are also very helpful. Especially Balto.

    As someone that has been going on the TMS route for 2 years, ( and still believes I will eventually lead a pain-free life) I think you are not giving it long enough. I completely understand your desperation. I have noticed, when reading your posts before, that you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be "well" for your family. Being a husband and father, it is only natural to feel this way, but perhaps you need to give yourself permission to relinquish this for a while. The fear that comes in believing that the our world will collapse without us being in control and pain free is surprising not founded most of the time. It is amazing how family and friends can step up to the mark and help out when they understand they are needed. Take off the time pressure and don't try TOO hard to get better.
    Anne Walker and Ellen like this.

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