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Day 1 At the beginning

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Misha, Jun 6, 2016.

  1. Misha

    Misha Peer Supporter

    The first step in doing this involves making a thread post about where you are right now in your treatment. Write a short post about the level of acceptance you have of the TMS diagnosis, and of any doubts or worries you may have at this point.

    Hi Everyone,

    I've been a member of this forum for a while now but haven't done the SEP. I've been going back and forth between so many different books and methods and really not committing to anything so I decided it was time to go back to basics and get stuck in. I wasn't going to post anything here but I think I need to keep myself accountable by doing so.

    My TMS is manifesting as pelvic pain, also sometimes back pain and sciatica and mild IBS, for 10 months now. I've been checked out by a lot of doctors and had a lot of tests and a lot of minor diagnoses, nothing that properly explains my symptoms. Each time I get confident in the diagnosis of TMS, the symptoms progress or change enough to make me feel I'm back at square one and something was missed.

    Level of acceptance that TMS is real: 100%
    Level of acceptance that TMS is responsible for my symptoms: 90%
    Level of acceptance that I am capable of resolving my TMS: 80%
    So confidence in the diagnosis (and myself) is obviously an issue for me to work on.

    Doubts and worries:
    -After being told by a doctor there are just so many different pelvic conditions and problems that it is often impossible to find the issue because the testing isn't that advanced yet, but that that doesn't mean there isn't a very real problem causing your pain - especially since you've experienced natural childbirth and c-secion delivery which could have caused an issue that is only now beginning to cause problems - I feel like I can't get 100% acceptance and this will prevent healing.

    -I worry that so many pelvic pain success stories (non-TMS and some TMS) involve pelvic PT and that isn't available to me

    -I have so little time to work on mindbody healing so I worry that even if I can get 100% acceptance I won't have the time and ability to fix it. I get woken through the night by at least one of my children, woken again early each morning by another, busy all day taking care of them and often late to bed so much to be done each evening. My husband works long hours and travels. Sometimes 30 minutes is all I can grab so I feel so tired and time poor, this just doesn't feel like a space for healing. I need to journal, exercise, meditate etc. but when? I try to focus on feeling my emotions and watching my thoughts through the day but I can't even hear myself think over the noise of the kids! I know I'm having a bit of a whinge and we all face different challenges but this is a constant 'worry' for me, that "I don't have the time to heal."

    -I worry that my children are being affected by my lack of patience and tendency to snap at present. I worry I am a burden to my husband.

    -I worry I'll get worse

    -I worry this won't work and I'll have nothing left to try

    I'm sorry, I know this isn't very positive but it does feel good to get it out and put it down in print. Onward and upward :)
  2. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    I was a stay at home Mom too, and I know how precious those minutes can be each day. But I learned that I needed me-time in order to be the type of Mom I wanted to be. So each day I carved out 20 minutes for my prayer/meditation. My daughter knew not to disturb me during that time unless it was an emergency. Even small children can learn to respect that.
    In 20 minutes I think you could make great progress with the SEP each day. Remember, it's not a race! Do it at a pace at works for you.
    I would say that in doing the SEP, you don't have anything to lose. It costs nothing, and the potential benefits are huge. It literally gave me my life back, after years of horrible, constant pain.
    Wishing you well. There's hope!
    Misha and mike2014 like this.
  3. Misha

    Misha Peer Supporter

    Thanks for your support :)
  4. Rachel72

    Rachel72 New Member

    I am not a stay at home mom, but rather a full-time working mom with a husband who travels 60% of the time for work. Moms typically carry the bulk of all family responsibilities, regardless of their "lot in life," and even with the most supportive spouses. My advice for you is to allow yourself time everyday for YOU...this is nothing to feel guilty about and, in the long run, makes you a happier, healthier mother and wife. For many years, I didn't exercise reguarly and would find myself saying that I couldn't do so because there wasn't enough time in the day with my job, homework, kids' activities, dinner, bedtime, etc. When I started struggling with my physical pain, I made a commitment to exercise at least 4 times per week. Some days, I take my kids with me to the gym after work for an hour (they play in the daycare), some days, I will stop at the gym right from work while my husband does homework with them, then I go home and he goes to the gym (like shift workers), and some days I drop them at my parents' house for an hour. If I really can't make it work, I'll squeeze in a mini-workout at home while the kids are occupied with a show. What I have come to find is that my kids actually like me more when I am able to release my stress and pain. They like the more active Mom who goes on bike rides and plays soccer. They see me trying to be healthy.

    Yesterday, I bought myself a pretty journal and a nice pen to start my journey through the SEP. My 10-year old daughter was attracted to the journal and kept asking me why I bought it, why I need a journal, etc. I simply told her that sometimes adults need their own things, their own "place" to be happy. She thought about it for a moment and said, "Huh, I guess that makes sense!"

    You are the glue of the family, and although this can sometimes seem like an insurmountable hill to climb, it is also a blessing. Your journey will make your family stronger because YOU are stronger.
    Misha likes this.
  5. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Sara. I agree with the others about the benefits of meditation. Try to find time for it each day.

    Meditation is a time-honored way of relaxing the mind and relieving anxiety, mental stress, headaches, and even physical pain. There are many ways to practice meditation, but many consider the most successful to be a technique called the Relaxation Response (RR).

    It is a wonderful way to practice TMS Mindbody Healing because it changes harmful thinking in the subconscious mind which Dr. John Sarno says causes pain in many people.

    The RR, practiced daily for a few minutes has a profound positive effect on the subconscious mind, relieving or curing everything from inflammation and pain to headaches, stomach problems, insomnia, high blood pressure, to even aiding in recovery from cancer.

    RR is like Transcendental Meditation which is taught by TM specialists who charge hundreds or thousands of dollars. But the RR is free and you can do it yourself.

    It is done 20 minutes once or twice a day, before a meal, and works best if not practiced within two hours after a meal. I do it in bed before arising in the morning and again in bed before falling sleep. Often, I only do it 5 or 10 minutes and it works to calm me and put me to sleep.

    Just sit in a chair (or lie in bed in the morning or at bedtime), close your eyes, don’t listen to any music, and try to avoid outside noises. Let your mind think of a word such as "One " which has no real meaning or association. Or say a calming word such as “Peace,” or add the faith or spiritual element by saying a favorite religious word. Breathe in through the nose, hold the breath for a few seconds, then say the word when you exhale.

    Say the word silently over and over. At the end of the 10 to 20 minutes, picture and feel yourself as you were when you felt your best, and in a place where you felt that way.

    When distracting thoughts arise during the RR, as they will, just tell yourslf, “Oh, well,” and go back to repeating your chosen word. Transcendental Meditation teachers will charge hundreds of dollars to give practitioners a word, but the word you choose yourself in the RR works just as well.

    There are several free videos on Youtube about the Relaxation Response. I especially recommend these two by Dr. Benson:

    Misha likes this.

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