Any UK users around? US users can suggest too

Indi, it's important for you to understand that the people on this site are not professionals, we are individuals who all suffer from an emotional condition which we conveniently call TMS although the variation of the condition is endless. We share our experiences of recovering from pain and other symptoms by following the theories of Dr. Sarno and making a commitment to examine our old, hidden, and repressed emotions, no matter how painful that is.

That being said, here's what strikes me about your post, and I did read your original one. I am concerned that your anxiety level is very extreme, but you don't mention seeing any kind of mental health professional, which I think may be an urgent priority for you. Dr. Sarno himself says that his patients with the most extreme pain needed a lot of psychotherapy before they could start to recover. You are only 30 years old, but you've also had prior depression as well as IBS. My gut is telling me (although my gut is not any kind of medical professional, and neither am I) that you need some serious psychotherapy, the sooner the better.

My gut is also telling me that living with your parents may not be helping, but I'm only saying that because you haven't said anything about your family or childhood or past, yet family and parental relationships are usually at the root of TMS.

It's great that you want to work with Georgie Oldfield in the UK, but I'm not sure you can afford to wait.

In addition to starting therapy right away, you can also continue your TMS self-education. I believe that Georgie has an online or CD/audio program, for example, and tmswiki.org has the Structured Educational Program (free, and written by volunteers, just so you know).

I would also recommend that you read Hope and Help for Your Nerves, by Dr. Claire Weekes, and the link I provided, which talks about the book, is one of many web sites about anxiety which you might find helpful - as long as you realize that anxiety is what Dr. Sarno calls a "TMS equivalent" (just like IBS, by the way). The book is available from Amazon, and the Kindle version is only US5.30.

You've got a LOT to deal with, and I suspect that right now it seems like your problems are insurmountable, but we've seen people recover from similar situations, so I am going to direct you to one more location which is the Thank You Dr. Sarno stories. I really hope these will help you to feel a little better. Start with the latest posts. Scroll down to the Archives to read a few more every day. Read some every day, and have hope, okay?

And please try to forgive and love yourself. That's the missing component for many people with anxiety and depression and TMS.

Jan

 

Hi IndiMarshall, @JanAtheCPA's advice, as always, is excellent. I'm very happy to hear that you are starting to work with a psychotherapist, as I think that that will be very helpful and is really good for anyone to do.

I've gone through and read most of the threads that you started trying get a sense of how you are doing. It sounds like you are suffering great deal, away from your wife, bedridden, and in great pain.

Right now, I think that you are dealing with a huge amount of fear that there may be some structural cause for your symptoms. This type of fear can be very harmful. I suspect that you are going to have to make a decision. At some point, you're going to have to decide whether you want to take the TMS approach or the physical approach. If you decide to take the TMS approach, you're going to have to work on accepting the diagnosis completely. Yes, there are definitely some people who are able to heal completely without fully accepting the diagnosis, but given your fear and depression, I don't think that you are one of them.

Given all of the fear that you're feeling, the structural fears in the back of your mind and in your subconscious will undercut the great progress that you are making with the TMS approach. This will be especially true given that you are currently spending the entire day bedridden. That just gives you way too much time to ruminate and dwell upon your fears. You're going to have to find a way to break that cycle.

Your first step will be to calm and heal your mind. You need to completely let go of outcome dependence and to mindfully accept that while you can eventually heal, right now and for the immediate future, you are in pain, and that is okay. You are strong enough to overcome this. Given that, to take the TMS approach, you will need to completely put your symptoms, your MRIs, and your physical treatments out of your mind. You also need to overcome the depressed thoughts that you are having. Many people have done this before, and you can too. Your therapist can help you with this.

If you decide to take the TMS approach (and only you can do this), the first step is always to meet with the doctor to confirm that the TMS approach is safe and appropriate for you. Given that you've met with a neurologist many times and that the neurologist has said that there is no nerve impingement, it sounds like this step is already taking care of. Obviously it would be stupid to have a stranger on an internet forum make this important decision for you, so in the end, you have to decide this for yourself. Once you've done this, you need to commit yourself completely.

Your first step will be rereading the books. You are still thinking physically and structurally, which means that even if you have accepted the TMS idea on some level, you haven't accepted it completely. To heal, you need to overcome this. I would suggest reading Healing Back Pain, Mind-Body Prescription, and The Great Pain Deception, again and again, until they sink in. For everything you read, think very hard about how it applies to you. The first two books are available via audiobook, which may help given that you are bedridden. From my days of pain, I remember that audiobooks were a big help, but eventually, you'll want to work on resuming physical activity even when it hurts.

I hope this advice helps. I want the best for you, which is why I think that you'll have to make this choice.

 

This is a GOOD start, Indi!

This is a great paragraph to keep in front of you and to read every day. And believe me, Forest knows what he's talking about.

All the best, Indi - we are pulling for you.

Jan