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Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Mary80, May 3, 2018.

  1. Mary80

    Mary80 Peer Supporter

    Hi everyone, it's been many days since I entered the forum. I stopped doing all the exercises. With the pain I go well enough, but the anxiety ... anxiety is killing me. I go to a bar and anxiety, I go to the doctor and anxiety, I go to gasoline and anxiety, I go to the supermarket and anxiety, I go shopping and anxiety ... I do not go out anymore because I'm afraid of anxiety ...no exercise has helped me to lower the level of anxiety and after so many months (years) of practice here in the forum and alone ... the only thing that is not going away is precisely the anxiety ...
    I bought magnesium and I feel better but anxiety does not go down.
    please can you help me .. what should i do? I go to a therapist for 1 year .. but not even he explains himself (or maybe he does not tell me) my paralysis .. we work together on everything .. I say everything I have no secrets with him. I wish I could do many things ... go out without worrying about the symptoms of anxiety, but it seems that nothing works. I feel condemned to death every time I leave the house.
    please help me as you can.

  2. BinLA

    BinLA Peer Supporter


    Two suggestions...

    One, google AnxietyCentre and Jim Folk. Locate their site and consider signing ups. It’s cheap for a years access to so,e of the best recovery info ok the planet.

    Two, read a book called “At Last a Life”by Paul David. He also has a blog. It’s some of th very best info on recovery.

    You’re still fighting. And I understand why. But you need assistance to stop fighting, start accepting and prioritizing life over how you are feeling. It is a process. But you can do it.
  3. Sonic

    Sonic Peer Supporter

    The best way to overcome Anxiety is exposure therapy. If you can accept that your Anxiety symptoms are harmless and just some nerves letting off some steam then you should have the courage to not let them prevent you from doing anything in life. Let whatever uncomfortable feeling/sensation come at you without reacting to it in a negative and fearful way. Fearful thoughts are the enemy I think as you always worry and it creates a vicious circle.

    It sounds like you are worried to leave the house so maybe start small and walk to the end of the street and back and see what’s the worst that can happen. Take it slow and easy and think everything’s ok and let whatever come, come.

    You can not take Anxiety symptoms serious as they are harmless in nature technically although they are certainly very distressing and in your case: destabilising.
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2018
  4. Mary80

    Mary80 Peer Supporter

    Hi BinLa
    if you can understand .. can you explain to me too? I do not understand what happens ..even if to tell the truth I know that there are many problems to solve ... but anxiety has never been as high as it is now. I can make her happen just thinking about a situation! Anyway anxiety blocked my life . I will read the book and look for the site. thank you so much
  5. Mary80

    Mary80 Peer Supporter

    Hi Sonic
    In truth I go out but every time I risk ... I'm not afraid only of the symptoms that run through my body ... it happens that I lose my senses, once I lost my sight and hearing while listening to a lesson, it was horrible ... I go out of the house (a little) but when I go out I'm always very worried and so I get anxious anticipated and then it can happen even worse, as I wrote before. I know it's stupid but it just happens and I can not do anything ... it seems like something turns on the light but there's no darkness ... and it's not useful. What also scares me a lot is that if I think of something that makes me anxious while I'm at home .. anxiety really comes.
    I go out but only for necessary things, I do not go to have fun anymore because I do not enjoy myself.. I no longer recognize myself and sometimes I ask myself ... "but why? why...? ... going to the baker can not kill you ... let's go Mary..stop!
    but it does not work..:(
  6. mugwump

    mugwump Well known member

    I agree with Lizzy, it takes time to heal and listening to Claire Weekes really helps
  7. Sonic

    Sonic Peer Supporter

    Hi Mary,

    Your symptoms sound scary and I would be scared of symptoms of sight loss and hearing loss also. Have you told a Dr of these symptoms of hearing and sight loss which could be put down to Anxiety?

    Something stands out in your post in that you don’t go out and have fun. Avoiding life can be a jailer of Anxiety symptoms. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and sit at a party, dinner or whatever you do for socialising. Sit their in discomfort and don’t care about that discomfort. Try and relax and take in the surroundings and enjoy whatever company you have You may end up having fun which shifts the focus from your symptoms. Try and phone a friend and arrange something. Even if it’s just a talk to catch up and feel good talking to a friend. Try and do tasks that take the focus off Anxiety.

    You know I could never explain the process better than guys like Balto and Hillbilly. These guys are the masters at overcoming Anxiety and helped me get my life back by reading all of their posts of wisdom on here and the other tms site, and since this is a thread on Anxiety, it would be a disservice not mentioning them and unsure if you’ve come across them?

    http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=8511 (TMSHelp Forum - Stubborn Hillbilly gets better)

    Renee and plum like this.
  8. Mary80

    Mary80 Peer Supporter

    I told him everything. he was speechless. . . according to him it is not only anxiety but a kind of dissociation from what happens. for me it is very simply ..is a symptom of tms. . .
    but I have to admit I'm scared when I'm out and this thing happened even while I was in a club with friends. Until I understand what's going on, I'm not going out any more than I need to. unfortunately I do not improve but I get worse and this worries me.
    I do not know balto and hillbilly...
    can I find them here? Tmshelp.com??? Ok !! Thanks :)
  9. Sonic

    Sonic Peer Supporter

    Oh yeah disassociation is classic Anxiety symptom.

    Scared when out with friends? Last thing you want to do is have any fear when under stress/anxiety as this is what keeps it alive and your body in constant fight/flight mode. Ironically worrying that a symptom may appear indeed causes symptoms to appear in my past experience.

    The best way to understand, is get an understanding of your nervous system and how it works. Clare weekes explains it great so maybe worth reading her chapter on that again. Your body is just responding normally to stress which is causing you to be in the anxiety state.

    Yes I’ve provided links to the posters mentioned above.
  10. Mary80

    Mary80 Peer Supporter

    I'm reading Claire again but something tells me it's not good for me ... you know that if you're on the right track something happens and this gives you hope ... something happens little and not very visible, right? well ..with the anxiety and the treatment of Claire no improvement .. I have reached the breaking point .. I breathe air and I get anxious ... it is no longer triggered by an event or a person ...this is impossible..anxiety walking alone when most wants .. I do not understand my nervous system .. something escapes me and I can not understand...I feel like I've lost something and I do not understand what it is and then it is useless to use the tools .. if you do not understand, you will fail .. and in fact I'm failing ..I'm also on the site to read hillbilly
  11. BinLA

    BinLA Peer Supporter

    Mary, your body is sensitized. You are hyperstimulated. Thus, your brain is (as Alan Gordon mentions) scanning for dangers. You are now in a hyper-alert state, being flooded with chemicals from your body to keep you in a state of readiness for danger.

    You say you read Claire Weekes but it didn't help yet. But, these things take quite some time to help... and we have to often repeat this information to oursevles dozens or hundreds of times before the brain will allow them to help us. Your brain thinks it is protecting you, and you are responding to that protection with more fear.
    I totally understand beign afraid of these sensations. They FEEL horrible at times. I still can get some to this day. (Dealing with a balance issue now.)

    But, you have to keep working to help your logical mind override the fear based mind and learn that these are harmless symptoms. They cannot hurt you.
    You have to be tired of living in fear, and go out and do what you need to do... and take it all with you. Nothing will EVER happen to you because of these feelings.
    They are 100% harmless. Go to the market, go to friends. Take it with you. Bring it along. Make an agreement with it...

    "I'm doing what I need to do today. I may feel like shit, but I'm not going to battle with these feelings... I'm going to the store, and these feelings can come along if they want but I'm not spending my day fussing with them."
    (for example)

    This takes time. Please reference the other sources I cited for you. You are still afraid of the feelings. You need more information and more time.
    Claire Weekes is a genius and her work is 100% on point. But you can add the others I mentioned, as you never know which will resonate more with you.
    This has to be a daily reminder to yourself, and you need to give yourself weeks or months to let the body settle down from this state.
    You need massive patience, and a true commitment to learn the correct responses. ONce you do... you'll start to see little clearings.
    Little breaks in the clouds where calm returns, then leaves again. BUT... those litlte breaks are all we need to see proof that this indeed is the way.

    AnxietyCentre offerns 1 on 1 coaching if you need it. I used them, mostly at the begining of my stress disorder struggle and it helped immensely.
    Keep learning and keep refusing to live in fear of these sensations.

    BAD: Talking about the sensations constantly. Googling their meaning. Fretting. Worrying about the future. Believing you are "different" and your condition is
    worse than others or not like others. Making the symptoms important. Giving great respect to the feelings as they come.

    GOOD: Getting on with your life, regardless of how you feel. Recognizing you feel bad, but are in no danger. Learning from those (like Paul David) who have overcome and teach the proper ways. Seeing symptoms as your body trying to express its upset, not as danger. Seeing symptoms as something that is LEAVING your body, not coming in. Reading stories of those who overcame and learning from their techniques. Stopping the fear cycle of adding fear to fear when you feel sensations. Living your life as a normal person, not as an "anxiety person."

    Keep learning, you will see through this soon. It may take a lot of time and patience for some, or be a snap for others. But regadlesss, it's the same process.
    Lizzy, plum and Nzombro like this.
  12. Mary80

    Mary80 Peer Supporter

    I know I'm hyper sensitized .. I know .. I agree on this .. I know ... and I hope I do not seem a complaint when I ask for help .. it's just that I can not overcome the fear of anxiety . I'm sorry I do not want to be a person who wastes time and complains that nothing works .. I do not want to be like that, I want to commit myself and train myself ...but... it's just so hard.:(:(
    I apologize .
    I'll read it all over again and read everything you've suggested .
    I hope I can write the next time something good happened.

    thank you all
    BinLA likes this.
  13. BinLA

    BinLA Peer Supporter

    Mary, if you have time.... read Alan Gordon's program here on the site. (Overcoming pain.)

    You are apologizing for "how you appear" to us. Don't worry how you appear! You're in pain! It sucks! It's OK for it to suck. We know you are a good person.
    Alan has a chapter on putting pressure on ourselves. You need to take the pressure off yourself. Let it all be OK. Feeling bad is OK... it just IS. It's not enjoyable, but it's not dangerous.

    Don't apologize! You owe NO ONE an apology. You're in a hard place. But you will come out of it. You are absotluely in the right place.... along with the other resources we have talked about. Stay off of other forums where they talk about anxity, medicines, etc. It'll make you worse. Just stick with Weekes, Paul David.. Jim Folk and Anxiety Center... the programs here. Tha'ts ALL the resources you need.

    You're at the very beginning of this. Your goal is to get through the next hour with less pressure on yourself. More understanding, and even 1% less fear. If you can decrease your worry and attention to your symptoms 1% in the next hour.... or even next day, it's a big win! Then do the same the next day.

    Give yourself days, weeks, months to implement this. Take it slowly. The BEST news here is... NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN TO YOU.

    You're safe, no matter what!

    If you have a minute, here's another short story from someone who overcame what you are going through. It's very interseting and even a fun read.
    Have a look...
    http://nothingworks.weebly.com (NOTHING WORKS)
    Renee and Lizzy like this.

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