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Another flare

N

Nightowl

Peer Supporter
I just saw a post in here from a longtime member about a flare and their pain, and I wanted to piggyback my own.

I have been doing so much better over the last few months. I wasn’t quite ready to write a success story, but I told my OB/GYN in mid December that I was 80% cured of my pain. Then over Christmas week I had a mini flare of my pelvic pain that got better, but on Wednesday much worse. I was awake pretty much the entire night last night with my pelvic symptoms, and I am feeling so depressed over this. I just spent the last hour crying.

I feel like I am right back where I was when I started this journey. I know that isn’t true, because I’ve learned so much, but that isn’t how I feel! My anxiety is absolutely through the roof, and it’s scary. I feel like the symptoms aren’t even as bad as the anxiety that I get around them.

And this is all compounded with the fact that my daughter is returning to college today.
 
Nightowl said:
My anxiety is absolutely through the roof, and it’s scary. I feel like the symptoms aren’t even as bad as the anxiety that I get around them.
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At its roots mind/body/TMS is essentially a manifestation of anxiety associated with fear, rage and other emotions. The festive period (even if you're enjoying yourself) is stressful plus your daughter returning to college is stress-making in one way or another due to your emotions around her departure -- I'm guessing they'll be mixed emotions, perhaps in connection with her 'flying the nest', that you'll miss her (which can be rage inducing) or whatever the case may be. So, my suggestion/advice would be to use techniques to self-soothe regularly throughout the day... start with the breath... punctuate your day with taking a few breaths where you intentionally lengthen your out breaths. Also see my posting on this thread about flares and self-soothing: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/flare-and-fear.33236/#post-169187

Dr Sarno said this about soothing in his book The MindBody Prescription:

"I believe a kind of rage/soothe ratio may play a role in determining when physical symptoms will occur. Patients frequently ask, “Why did the pain start now?” Invariably I reply, “Because your rage has reached a critical level; because it now threatens to erupt into consciousness. Suppose, however, there is another element in the equation; that it is not simply the quantity of rage that brings on symptoms, but the presence or absence of counterbalancing soothing factors. Theoretically, these pleasant elements in a person’s life would modify the threat posed by the rage and make symptoms unnecessary. One can carry this to the point of absurdity, but I believe something like it goes on and that the occurrence of symptoms reflects too much rage and not enough counteracting soothing elements in one’s life."
 
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Nightowl said:
I just saw a post in here from a longtime member about a flare and their pain, and I wanted to piggyback my own.

I have been doing so much better over the last few months. I wasn’t quite ready to write a success story, but I told my OB/GYN in mid December that I was 80% cured of my pain. Then over Christmas week I had a mini flare of my pelvic pain that got better, but on Wednesday much worse. I was awake pretty much the entire night last night with my pelvic symptoms, and I am feeling so depressed over this. I just spent the last hour crying.

I feel like I am right back where I was when I started this journey. I know that isn’t true, because I’ve learned so much, but that isn’t how I feel! My anxiety is absolutely through the roof, and it’s scary. I feel like the symptoms aren’t even as bad as the anxiety that I get around them.

And this is all compounded with the fact that my daughter is returning to college today.
Click to expand...

As BloodMoon said, what you said at the end I thought aha! Is compounded accurate or maybe it's a bit more than that? Your subconscious may have come first with thoughts about your daughter going back to college even before you gave it conscious thought.

Awareness and an understanding of your emotional links to flares will play a big part in reducing that fear and anxiety. I am still capable of a flare given specific emotional stimulus, but I understand it so I don't react at all.

Be proud of how far you've come :)
 
Thank you both! I was proud of myself, but this really hit me hard. I thought I had left the worst of it behind. I’m going to continue to do self-care today and remind myself that I’m safe. It is very hard to do when I’m so anxious, but I will do my best.
 
Ya know, just telling anyone I'm feeling better about my symptoms will bring on some symptoms at times. Brains! Sheesh!


Dr. Brad Fanestil has some of the best discussions of anxiety and anxiety/TMS - and what to do, it's right along the lines of Dr. Claire Weekes (which if you haven't read any of her books, you should!). Just listening to his calming, assure and professional voice has helped me greatly so I thought I'd share and see if it resonates with you. https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.Fanestil
 
Cactusflower said:
Ya know, just telling anyone I'm feeling better about my symptoms will bring on some symptoms at times. Brains! Sheesh!


Dr. Brad Fanestil has some of the best discussions of anxiety and anxiety/TMS - and what to do, it's right along the lines of Dr. Claire Weekes (which if you haven't read any of her books, you should!). Just listening to his calming, assure and professional voice has helped me greatly so I thought I'd share and see if it resonates with you. https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.Fanestil
Click to expand...

So true that telling anyone I’m better seems to guarantee a flare! I’ll check out Dr. Fanestil. Honestly, what bugs me isn’t even the pain but the anxiety it causes! I keep telling myself not to care but it’s so hard.
 
Cactusflower said:
The anxiety happened before the flare..flares simply remind us we need to be tuned into our stress levels and listen to the more subtle messages the body had been giving us before the flare…
Click to expand...

wow, I never even thought of that but it makes so much sense! I’ve decided to try to spend the next couple of weeks trying to calm myself in every way I can, but it’s hard to think of how to do that sometimes.
 
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