• Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
  • Welcome to the new TMS Wiki server! Things aren't finished yet: email is not set up, so notification and password-reset emails don't go out, and new registrations are paused until email is installed. Details and updates are in this thread (click here). Locked out? Email tmswikisignups@gmail.com from the address where you receive TMS Wiki notifications.

Anger

tarala

tarala

Well known member
I'm just finishing my third week in the SEP, and still feel confused about anger. Until I was 28 and had my first child, I was more or less numb, and a peace maker. I really thought I didn't have any anger.

Then from 28 to about 44, I was always angry, mainly at my family. One day I finally realized it was really hurting me and everyone else, and began to do some serious work on it, in terms of beliefs and expectations, recognizing when my needs weren't being met, etc. Slowly after several years of work it drained away, I learned better how to get my own needs me, my kids were happy and my husband came home instead of being a workaholic.

So of course I believed I had dealt with my anger, and now I am wondering if I just turned it inward instead of outward. Like now I punish my body instead of my family. But it is confusing trying to poke around finding anger when I already had so much, and (hopefully) learned what to do with it.

On the other hand, I am reasonably sure I still have lots of buried grief, sadness, despair etc from childhood issues that I have never processed. Sometimes I read that this can be the problem, but it seems like 95% of what I am reading says it's always buried anger, and people just don't know they have it. So my question is, do I keep trying to find anger or focus more on other emotions or what?
 
I would keep journaling about whatever feelings are coming up. I found that as I wrote, things seemed to "delayer" for me and memories came back from many years past that I could process and set free. It's important to remember that triggers in our adult life can stem from events from childhood; continuing to journal (or however you're processing) can bring back memories so we can process them, thus eliminating the current day triggers altogether.

We have many years of feelings we've stuffed. As we start the process, they'll come out when we're ready & willing! :)

Best wishes to you.
 
Terry, it's not always anger that's the main emotion. I'm working with a TMS therapist right now and it seems like my main repressed emotion is sadness (although anger is there too). Like Lori says, as you do the work you begin to know and accept all of these feelings whatever they may be.
 
I know that I also have a lot of buried grief, sadness, and anger from childhood, but there are a lot of things I am angry about regarding current issues. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to work through the anger towards the person I am most angry at...myself.
 
Thanks so much for your replies. I will just keep journaling and see what happens. There is so much written about buried anger, but it seems to me that sometimes what is underneath the anger is fear and grief. I guess whatever is there, it's better out than in!
 
THE CHRONIC PAIN I HAVE MAKES ME VERY ANGRY AT TIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE MATCH STICK THE GD THING I VE HAD LEAR TO CONTROL THE ANGER BUT THE PAIN IS STILL THER
 
SOMETIMES I WONDER IF MY ANGER IS WORST THEN THE PAIN I KNOW THEY GO HAND IN HAND BUT ITS NOT FAIR THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH ITS HARD TO DEAL WITH MYSELF I THINK ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD DAYS I HAD GREAT PARENTS BUT IF I GOT HOME LATE OR DID SOMETHING WRONG I GOT SOME BAD BEATENS THAT INSTILL FEAR INTO ME TO THIS DAY I AM JUST VENTING
 
THINGS TO DO TO TRY TO KEEP ME FOCUS I HAVE BEEN INTO NASCAR THE LAST 25 YRS AT AT TIMES I DO NOT GO TO AN EVENT CAUSE OF THE PAIN AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY AT TIMES AND JUST TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT I HAVE A BLACK FEMALE CAT THAT I LOVE SO MUCH SHE KEEPS ME ON TRACK HER NAME IS FAITH
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top