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Am I making stuff up about my childhood, just for TMS recovery???

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by AndrewD, Mar 29, 2013.

  1. AndrewD

    AndrewD New Member

    Hi guys

    This is my 2nd attempt at TMS. I have RSI and I first tried this methid back in 2009. At first it had results but the more I got into it, the more I felt that I had to make stuff up about my childhood/parents just so I can release it. The reality is my parents were fine. I have absolutely no complaints. I read suggestions and think, that doesnt apply to me but back in 09, I started trying to make it fit so it does. After a while I felt that it was wrong, so stopped.

    My first attempt also just sent me from pillar to post mentally and I didnt know what to think anymore. Was this wrong? Was that wrong? As I am thinking this then I am wrong? etc. Maybe I have over complicated things, but I was stuck.

    Back now and attemptong to give this another go. I have remember the gist of everything, so not sure what to do next and to avoid the problems last time.

    Has anyone else had this or could help a 'desperate' RSI sufferer? :)
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hey Andrew - I can totally relate to this question. I also had parents and an upbringing that were fine - there were no traumas, and certainly no neglect or abuse. So why, oh why, have I had chronic anxiety all my life? And what I now recognize as TMS symptoms off and on all my life?

    The secret, while doing the journaling exercises on the Structured Ed Program on the wiki, is when you're making lists and writing things down, you must write down EVERYTHING that comes to mind, even the smallest things, the things that your hand hesitates over, because your brain is saying "oh, don't write that - that's not important". I discovered that it was the small events, the unimportant non-traumatic events, which held clues to my personality traits and helped to explain how I deal with the world as an adult.

    The other thing I've been doing very recently is trying to seriously meditate on my own self-image as a small child. That has been even more revealing. In my case, what I realized is that while I had very good parents, they were not emotionally warm and cuddly and comforting when we were very small, and I have a memory of thinking of myself, even at a very young age like 5 or 6, as feeling rather isolated, even a bit weird and disconnected, and not at all comfortable with myself. I'm working on various reason why this was so, but I think I may be on to something.

    The other thing that I've been learning recently is that even with a good upbringing, just the fact of being raised to live in a civilized society puts all kinds of pressures on our behavior from the time we're toddlers, and we end up being hard on ourselves as part of our desire to fit in - but if we go overboard - and goodists do tend to do this - then we can beat up on ourselves all the time, and end up in emotional and physical pain.

    So once again, I'm going to recommend The Self-Acceptance Project - let's see, I already described and linked to it tonight, let me see if I can find that thread.... here it is: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/flaring-up-real-bad.1787/

    Keep the faith, Andrew - if you hang out here long enough, you'll find the practice that works for you, I know it!

  3. Alan Gordon LCSW

    Alan Gordon LCSW TMS Therapist

    Sometimes there's such a focus on the past and a minimization of how you treat yourself on a day to day basis, how you're parented by the mom or dad currently in your own head. Do you scare yourself a lot? Do you pressure yourself on a daily basis, even with regard to small things like trying to figure out what you're repressing?

    Going back to your childhood can be valuable to address old traumas, it can also be valuable in helping you to understand how you came to treat yourself the way you do; but ultimately it's important to address how you treat yourself in the present and understand how that relationship might affect your symptoms.

    Nattycakes and Forest like this.
  4. gailnyc

    gailnyc Well known member

    I know what you mean. I felt this frustration, too.

    Keep in mind that TMS occurs when we stifle our emotions in order to be successful in the world. EVERYONE does this. I was reading the other day about how, when we are babies we express our emotions freely, but as we grow we receive messages from our parents, our teachers, and other members of society that this is not acceptable. So we learn to stifle our emotions in order to fit in with civilized society. Why some people develop TMS and others don't, I don't know, but keep in mind that Dr. Sarno saw it as a "universal" condition.

    So you don't have to go digging for trauma that isn't there. Just re-connecting with emotions and learning how to feel them rather than shunting them off to the side is enough, and a difficult enough process on its own.
  5. Steve Ozanich

    Steve Ozanich TMS Consultant

    Sage advice from Jan, Alan, and Gail,

    I call this phenomenon, The Helen Effect. After Dr. Sarno told the story of Helen who healed after an unconscious catharsis of childhood trauma, most everyone looks for that magic event. I did the same thing in looking for things in my past that weren't there. Even if there was a dark shadow what could you do about it? Alan is spot on, look for today's reactions. James Pennebaker said the same thing, focus about today's problems, discover why you react like you do now, hint, it's related to your past--so it's good to take a quick peak back.

    Dijana and Nattycakes like this.
  6. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Wow, Andrew - responses from Alan Gordon and Steve O! What a great question!

    Now you need to listen to the webinars they held with us last year, so you will know just how awesome they both are! Here you go:
    Alan Gordon on June 9 http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/june-9-drop-in-chat-with-alan-gordon-lcsw.340/page-2#post-2603
    Alan on July 21 http://tmswiki.org/dl/GordonWebinar120721.mp3
    Steve on October 27 http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/thread...he-october-27-webinar-with-steve-ozanich.885/


  7. njoy

    njoy aka Bugsy

    Hey, it's good to hear we are all "on the spectrum" with tms as a "universal" trait. Good one.
  8. Dear Lianne

    Dear Lianne Peer Supporter

    Thanks Jan for attaching all of the interview and informational links - I'll be sure to watch or read them. You always give such sound advice in this forum.

    Alan - how true about the present moment and looking at how we treat ourselves in the now. Monte H. emphasizes this in his TMS mastery program which I found to be very beneficial.

    Andrew - Since you say this is another go - i.e., a second attempt, perhaps you might take a new approach this time. I think others here are onto something special. I've also questioned what it was that was bothering me so much. I too had a really good childhood. But, there were traumatic spots when I hit my early teens. Like Jan says, it doesn't have to be the huge events in one's life that causes the pain; sometimes, it's the simple but awful sense that one is alone.

    Well, you are not alone on this forum. You are never truly alone even though you may be caught in the depths of despair. There's always others who share your sense of isolation. It is the human condition to question these things.

    As others have said here, "What are you thinking about and doing in the now?" I stopped watching about 90% of the CNN news shows that I'd been focussed on before; I still read the news, but nearly all online. There's something about the drama of the news that would rope me in and make me feel so badly afterward - like a vanilla frappe that has sour milk - it tastes good going down, but not after it gets digested. Sincerely, I've gone onto a "minimal news diet" in terms of television news. If I need to know more about a topic, I read about it online. I simply do not have that dire need to know the awful things that are happening to others in the world now. Being a compassionate person (which I believe is true of many people here on this forum) the news was overwhelming me. I felt a huge difference within two weeks of not watching much television news.

    For you, it might be something else that you delete from your daily life. Better food, exercise and more positive thinking are immense supports. Maybe you need to accept yourself as you are now - because you are already perfect.
  9. gailnyc

    gailnyc Well known member

    I have done something similar. I used to listen to NPR for about 2 hours every morning as I woke up and got ready for work. I have switched to music. I still hear the top-of-the-hour newscasts but I had become a news junkie and I just don't need to hear all that stuff. It had become bad for my nervous system. I like the idea of a "news diet." Music is a much better way for me to start my day.
  10. AndrewD

    AndrewD New Member

    Some great advice here guys. I will take what you said on board, esp todays problems and look back to work out why.

    I am doing the program at the moment and trying to look at it with fresh eyes and thats helping. i also am thinking of getting "Pain free for life" book. Has anyone read it? Is it any good?

    Thanks so much guys. Keeping my spirits up
  11. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Andrew. What Jan, Steve, Lianne, and Gail have posted are great ways to deal with your question.

    I found myself relaxing more by not watching network news, now I rarely watch CNN or any other tv news.
    I too get what little I need to know about U.S. and world news from spending a few minutes online to newspapers.
    Watching the news becomes an addiction. When I visit neighbors on my walks with my dog, all they talk about
    is the latest corporate or political scandal or killing or a new war or continuation of an ongoing war somewhere.
    They just complain. I try pulling the subject into some more positive because listening to them is like they have put
    poison in the drinking water.

    I've read Dr. Scott Brady's PAIN FREE FOR LIFE and highly recommend it. He is a strong advocate of Dr. Sarno's
    TMS theor4ies. Brady's 6-week cure for chronic pain gave me some if not all relief from back pain. One main thing
    he adds to healing is the spiritual element.

    I followed his advice and began asking God to help heal me, and believe that has played a real big part in my
    recovery from back pain. It also led me to a new peace with my church, the Catholic Church, after some years
    of anger because of its cover-up of pedophilia and infusion of politics.

    Even if you may not be religious, Brady's book will help you, but if you do have some spiritual side, spend
    more time on it.

    You can buy a copy of the Brady book at amazon.com books, perhaps even a used one. I hope you'll get it and
    spend some time on his 6-week program, then let us know how or if it helped you. Good luck healing.
    TMS is an exciting adventure in mind-body healing. Modern practitioners of the treatment of pain are
    starting to discover what healers knew centuries ago.

    As Dr. Brady puts it in his book, "The ancients (Greek, Hebrew, Chinese healers) often linked negative emotions
    to physical pain. Consequently, the mind and spirit, both of which possess nonphysical dimensions, were always
    considered by ancient healers in the diagnosis and treatment of pain." When Dr. Sarno discovered that many or most
    of his patients who came to him for relief of physical pain did not have any structural damage, he began learning about
    their lives, which led to them discovering repressed emotions they may not have known they had, but which were
    causing their pain.

    So I don't think you are making up stuff about your childhood just for TMS recovery. It may have been and still is
    buried real deep in your subconscious. Let it out and let it heal you. Good luck.
  12. Stock Trader

    Stock Trader Peer Supporter

    Hey Walt, I have found Mindfulness in the spiritual side to be helping with my recovery. "Happiness first, and healing will follow."

    How much of Dr. Schubiner's Program was in impact on your recovery?
    Nattycakes likes this.
  13. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Stock Trader, Hi. I spent some time on Dr. Schubiner's Program and it helped me with my visualizing technique.
    I didn't picture myself in Cancun, but years ago I went on wilderness canoe trips in the Minnesota-Ontario
    "Boundary Waters." I've never been in such a peaceful environment... thousands of lakes and islands away from
    civilization. One and two week trips, most of them with just one friend. When I meditate and practice mindfulness,
    staying in the present moment, I picture and feel myself back up in the canoe country, lying on a sunny beach there,
    or paddling a canoe on a calm lake with the sun shining down on me. I'm back in some of the most pleasant, care-free
    moments of my life. It also helps me get in touch with my spiritual side because I am back up in "God's country,"
    away from technology and traffic and noise and work pressures and people anxieties. I am in the moment living in
    and loving the beauty of nature God has given us. I can be closer to Him there because there are no modern distractions.
    No television, no cell phones, no iPods, no sirens, no traffic. Just loons warbling across a lake and the breeze blowing in
    the trees and the sun warming me.

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