Hi! About a year ago I started getting intense pain in my right arm. My doctor and many neurosurgeons and neurologists and spine doctors attributed it to my bulging disc in my neck. I was an active gym goer. I stopped working my upper body because it reminded me of the pain. I cried almost every day. “When will this go away”. Finally i scheduled surgery in May. Meanwhile, every morning, i would wake up with an intense cramp in my stomach and just feel anxious and paralyzed in bed. I started shaking internally. Meanwhile, my legs started becoming weaker. I developed prepatellar burisitis (my knee blew up). My hamstrings felt incredibly tight all the time. About a month ago, my lower back and butt started hurting when I sat. I went to the chiropractor who performed ART on me. The next day I sat on my floor crying - “this will never go away” - and I did some yoga. Immediately after I felt intense burning in my butt. I went to the emergency room. They did some tests but everything was fine. My PCP did more tests, nothing. I had a mild disc bulge at l4/l5 but my spine doctor was very skeptical that it was causing my pain. I received an injection at that level and it didn’t help. After the ER visit, the next week or so i slept with an ice pack between my legs at night. my friend told me to pick up Sarnos book on low back pain. I read it and connected with the personality. But i find it so hard to accept TMS. Here’s why: I have been in therapy since 16 (36 now) and I have explored all of my childhood issues. Of course I still feel inadequate, but I’m struggling with “thinking psychological” when I am aware of (i think) all of my thoughts. I’m going through Alan Gordon’s course, but it’s so hard to understand how to apply those strategies when I feel pain. I get frustrated and I say “i can’t work, it’s too painful to sit”. I compare myself with others that are not going through this. How do so get over that?