Day 40 Almost at the end.. or not

[DontStopBelieving]

It is the 40th day for me, and I'm thinking of restarting the whole program after day 42 because the more I journal the more unresolved issues I find. And the more I realise how I react to stresses, even really small issues like changing my mind about meeting a friend for a drink, I would normally do it and go through the whole thing pretending I'm enjoying myself while I actually want to run away. I want to find out why do I want to run away and why I can only socialise to a certain level and feel suffocated if I do more than that. Can it be that it is my character and that I am a solitude-loving type of person or is there a deeper issue? I also decided not to have my phone on wifi all the time because receiving messages puts more stress on me to reply straight away so people don't feel neglected or think I'm not a good enough person. It is amazing how much stress there is thanks to modern living. There isn't a correct answer to what should be changed regarding the SEP program or what would I do differently because every person is different and every TMS symptom requires its own approach. I have been changing the program to meet my needs so it is good that there is a basic structure but every TMSer can do what they think is the best thing for them.

 

[Cat Lady 13]

Hi DSB I have all the same issues you do. I too have issues socializing and can only take so much of being around other people before they start bugging me. I am uncomfortable in large groups of people I don't know. Not sure if it's because I am more introverted or I'm just not confident enough.

I also understand about the message issue. I have pretty much stopped using my Facebook account for the same reason. I can't turn off the phone though because it's the way my husband or son and daughter in law can get in touch quickly. The kids only have cell phones and they are always on the go.

I have also done the same thing many times where I will do something social or bend to pressure and I know I don't really want to do it. I feel guilty if I don't do it but know that I won't feel good doing it. I think we both need to pay attention and really do what we want to do unless of course it's something at work.

And yes I don't see why you should stop the SEP if its working for you. I will probably do the same thing. I am only half way through but I know I have a long way to go to better understand myself.