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advice from success stories - symtpoms getting worse

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by chepolina, Jan 18, 2013.

  1. chepolina

    chepolina Peer Supporter

    Hi everyone,
    I have been dealing with my TMS for about a month and a half. I know that all of my body pains are TMS because none of them have an even remotely logical explanation behind it and all started during objectively the most stressful time of my life.

    I've gotten rid of several symptoms including elbow, shoulder, and wrist tendonitis and some systemic symptoms too.

    However, as I try to resume the normal use of my feet and overcome my sesamoiditis in both feet I develop more and more pain, and swelling too.
    Symptoms don't go away right away. And it's important to resume normal activity and tolerate certain levels of pain. But in the case of my feet things seem to be getting worse. How do I proceed?...

    Thank you!

    Disclaimer: I've seen many doctors about my sesamoiditis. Surgery is not promising because the results are very unpredictable -- this is to say that even if I didn't believe in TMS I wouldn't operate on them. I've done rest, PT, acupuncture (the only thing that helps), icing, orthotics, etc. etc. etc.
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    hi chepolina-a very intresting name-
    im glad your doing the homework and have come to the conclusion that you have tms
    why am i glad you have tms -well many reasons
    1)you will get a new understanding of your direction in life now
    2)you will have answers that only eluded you in the past now
    3)you can get your hope back now knowing that this can be whipped

    and theres so much more-like all the great people at this site and the knowledge they have to help you
    build you up and show you direction from our own special journeys.

    now in reply to your question-
    first we need look at what you have conquered through tms healing
    elbow, shoulder, and wrist tendonitis and some systemic symptoms -
    this is powerful to know this chepolina-
    heres my words of advice-
    you have defeated quite a few gremlins here and at times it seems that
    the gremlin will sometimes try to fight till the end and even try to make us think were not in control
    even though the evidence is stacked up against it-hense the words-(the defense mechanism)
    so how do we defeat this mechanism that seems to be a foe when in reality its our friend
    lets start by embracing the mechanism and telling your defense system your thankful
    for its help but its time to move on now-then at this time id say dont try and keep putting your-self
    in pain .keep up with the homework of journaling -awareness and acceptance-
    let the pain sub-side as you hit on more repression -then get back to your activities of re-suming all physical activites
    if we let the pain re-side by tms healing then we can re-sume our task and look forward to the next syptom imperitive-
    or next battle-i dont wish for you to think theres going to be another syptom but if there is -
    dont be in any fear or have any doubts that this cant be defeated as simple as your other symtoms
    do you have any stressors now that might be causing some issues-
    think hard on this-because our stressors or what stresses us out can keep a flame burning-
    but on the other hand a repressed emotion can still be running around that has to be dealt with through facing
    and acceptance-sometimes the only way we can find these issues is through awareness and mindfulness
    just the dictionary terms of awareness should be good enough for you to see what im saying and
    i would go to the library and get a book on mindfulness or listen to dr zafirides podcast on mindfulness
    it really helped me when i was learning my personality traits and stressors and even repression when i started being aware of my own thinking
    theres lots more to talk about but i think you get the pitchure and if you have any more questions were here to help you
    and if not, then youve done a great job of thinking psychological.
    i hope to hear from you soon.....remember patience and time is powerful in our fight against tms-
    and also again tms is really our friend -we have to learn to embrace this mechanism that only wants to help
    but this pain your having has got to go -were here.....god bless
    ps-one last thing -make sure you keep going over sarnos book and have you read steve ozanichs book.
    have you looked to the post here and seen any that might be similar to yours.
    dont let me throw to much at cha-just try and do the homework-in time you will be writing us -telling us how you have won-once again
  3. chepolina

    chepolina Peer Supporter

    Thank you, Eric!
    My actual name is Polina, and Chepolina is a screen name I use : )

    Thanks for your advice, I needed to hear from people who have overcome TMS and have been to the other side.

    My follow-up question is am I allowed to use old methods of making the pain subside? In the past, the only that really helped the swelling go down was acupuncture. It never made the pain go away, but made the symptoms and range of motion better. Or would this be "cheating" and fooling myself?
  4. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    its according-how long have you studied sarnoian and are you completly healed
    ok -that means its all sarnos methods for a while-unless your just going to get a muscle rub you see-
    its not the healing factor, this rubbing of the muscles-what is -is the re-leaseing of the anger and anxiety -
    are you still doing that? are you in control of your stressors?
  5. chepolina

    chepolina Peer Supporter

    Inspired by your words, Eric, I went and exercised on an elliptical for 15 minutes and did not experience any serious twinges of foot pain (granted, I still have to wear my orthotics because without them the pain is really severe but still). I kept telling myself that putting using my feet is bringing good oxygenated blood to the pain sites and that feet are meant to be used and applied pressure to. Of course now I have this muscle-spasm type back ache (never in my life have I had back problems) but it's absurd so I'm not even buying into that one.. It's all those "sciatica" stories I've read. I dont even know where exactly sciatica occurs haha...

    To answer your question-- I am not completely in control of the stressors. My unconscious is still catching up with the logic of Sarno. I am yet to eradicate the natural reflex of cynicism and negativity, even if consciously I am doing it.
    I read my first Sarno book this past December. I guess for me it'll take time to fully overcome all of the doubt. I am also enrolled in Dr. Schubiner's course and I am reading John Kehoe's "Mind Power" book -- both good resources.

    THANK YOU, again. You are so great for being on here, and spending your time helping other people, even though you yourself have recovered. Really, thank you.
  6. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    im glad you did well cepolina-you keep heart and youll do well
    its the accepting spirit thats heals the quickest-although we know
    the mechanism can be stubborn-we never lose face,we keep the faith.
    courage is a powerful tool-remember that-cause if you got the courage to go
    through the tms marathon-then you already have the faith too.
  7. chepolina

    chepolina Peer Supporter

    This is ironic. Today's victory didn't last long. I don't understand what it was, since I was feeling so good.
    The day ended with me suddenly feeling more pain in the feet, more pain in the back, return of my old wrist and elbow pain, AND my heart palpitations returned. I was sitting in my room and my heart as just racing. This exact same thing happened a week ago where after a few good days I had a major bodily meltdown for no reason and within half an hour had a return of certain old symptoms. As if my brain isn't allowing me to recover just as I start feeling confident.
    I just don't get it sometimes, what I'm doing wrong.
  8. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    hi chepolina this is the defense mechanism not wanting you to do what your doing-you had a
    good day yesterday right-now think how was i thinking yesterday-you said pysycolgical and without fear-
    now step back over to the psychological realm -its a symtom imperitive of the defense mechanism to be more precise-
    see if we show any doubt then it rears its ugly head-you might have to do more facing and journaling with your emotions-
    change them if there hard to get rid of as in re-framing-but at this stage a good dose of re-leasing is in store-
    or it could be a stresspr that you are not getting what you expected today so you got stressed-are you applying
    time limits we cant do that-although all you have to do is be patient and know the pain will sub-side as you face it -
    jounal it-re-frame it.i bet ya thinking re-frame what?
    well i got some steps to it on some of my post-but you might just need to do the lesser
    journaling and facing with applied awareness-
    you see how this gets psychological-its just the fine points of awareness and acceptance
    with a keen sense of understanding our emotions are the issue and knowing how to change them at times-
    at other times we just use acceptance alone and acheive a great amount of re-leaf,we have to not focus on the problem
    less we want to keep experiencing the problem-i dont think this is your case but you might be doing it un-consciously
    see what i mean-let me know
  9. chepolina

    chepolina Peer Supporter

    Hi Eric,
    Thank you again. I agree with what you said. Key is patience. I guess the better I do the bigger is the Symptom Imperative avalanche. I will keep reminding myself that I make the calls and I am in control of my body.

    Secondly, your "doubt" comment is spot on. I've been thinking about what you said. And so last night I dreamt that I go to see a doctor and she tells me that I will never get rid of my foot paint because of the specific avascular necrosis that I have in the foot (I was diagnosed with that in real life, but nobody ever said that I'll never recover). I thought that I had no doubts. But clearly my unconscious is not on board. I think talking to that doctor was like talking to my unconscious. It's still not convinced that my foot pain IS TMS. Which means I need to do more logical reprogramming and contemplating to let the facts sink in.

    Thanks again!
    Jilly likes this.
  10. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    chepolina that was a good dream-im no dream expert but that is something
    Although in tms healing we do pay attention to our dreams-
    the ones that make sense-or sometimes not-anyways-yes! your heading in a good direction

    thats how i found a lot of repression was when id dream about it-
    then id be like ok im gonna journal this and as i journaled, it came to me
    and then other times i just awoke knowing-i had about 8 dreams like this.
    it gave me 8 repressions to rid and i did-by facing them and accepting that it was over now-
    i didnt have to keep holding in the pain-i had to learn that over and over with a lot of contemplating-

    As i said above chepolina our defense mechanism is there to give us what we want and help.
    Also if were using the wrong law it will give us that too-like in the law of attraction-
    youve watched the movie the secret right-if not get it ,and anything you dont understand ,ask and we will help here at tms wiki.

    i didnt know all those yrs that just because i thought mean thoughts sometimes
    that it was affecting how i was doing in life all around,but it was and i know how to not do that now.
    weve been programmed wrong to start with--its about as much anybodys fault as the color of there eyes.

    Then we learn from sarno how to rid the pain and we add from there-sometimes we dont add anything.
    i just like knowing ive got all bases covered and i dont want no more fall backs on my part.
    if it works and coincides with tms healing we use it.

    Remember facing and accepting our angers and anxietys at first is kinda hard-
    then we might have a dream like you did ,it revealed a repression to ya-
    but dont wait, keep writing them doun. The secret ones, well -when i got done with those and i calmed doun-
    I tore the paper up and threw it away-a form of re-leasing

    the un-conscious will come around chepolina-its already catching on to tell you while your asleep-
    and im sure you have caught many journaling -

    just keep learning all the big psychological words
    and what they mean and how to practice them-this will be a journey of course,but its a journey we cant afford to miss.

    it gave me my life back ya know-i have a lot of calmness i practice now and meditations-
    affirmations are good to use everyday-you have to let these tools like facing the anger and anxiety-
    learning and applying awareness and acceptance-sink in -

    it might take some time to break a lot of conditioning-ive broke a lot of conditioning and i know now if i have an issue
    with my emotions-i know how to detect it through awareness-if i have an issue with some past anger,then i use acceptance.

    As one person said before-positive thinking wont cure you-no it wont but it sure is the kind of thinking you will be doing to heal
    see we have to face the anxietys and angers then we learn acceptance-then we learn that good thoughts
    about everything are better than the conditioned negative energy thoughts we have stored in our bodys-we have to face those thoughts-

    And you know after a round of facing all those repressions we have to have the calmness of the working affirmations weve practiced
    The prayers are good -i use a lot of tools in my basket of healing-a lot,
    theres a perfect combo for you and in time you will get it together if you stay course-
    Jilly likes this.
  11. chepolina

    chepolina Peer Supporter

    I followed your advice, let the pain subside for a day or so, and resumed activity today. I'm much more convinced and confident.
    It's kind of hard walking through the pain though. The pain is about 7/10 or more in both feet. Naturally, it's scary to just keep walking on them. I feel like I'm crushing my bones and tendons in the balls of my feet.
    But then I think - feet are meant to be walked on, and how do other people walk on them? Nothing is torn or fractured so then why does it hurt so much? It's a bit of a cycle in my head. But I'm trying really hard to not let the pain scare me.

    How did you do it, how did you just plow through the severe pain in your recovery? Just curious.
    Jilly and eric watson like this.
  12. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    (Quote chepolina)-I followed your advice, let the pain subside for a day or so, and resumed activity today. I'm much more convinced and confident.

    (Eric)-chepolina thats cool that your doing activities but you havent let the pain sub-side enough-see we have to let the pain get doun to like a 1 or 2 before we decide to go for our daily walks .especially since the pain is in your feet-i want you to win the easy way-not the way i tried and failed at first-see i thought just like you that i have to work my way through this pain and sometimes we do but only after it has sub-sided to about a 1 or 2.the reason i said sometimes is because you can get rid of the pain all together with out even trying to work against the pain physically-we work against the pain mentally and psychologically- i went and lifted heavy weights thinking now i get it-just work against the pain- and i was wrong and paid a penalty for it too-we work on the anger and anxiety issues first by journaling them-then in time we start to feel better because we are getting to the tinnacles of these repressions which are causing the pain to start with.
    then when were done doing the journaling and reading the re-minders every day till we start to feel a decrease in our pain. only then ,do we challenge the pain-see.

    (Quote chepolina)-It's kind of hard walking through the pain though.

    (Erics Quote)-yes it is-very hard-ive been there chepolina-it doesnt work this way though-
    we have to let the pain sub-side by confronting all those anxietys and angers of the past that we have never wanted to face-then when were done facing the repressions -we can learn to accept a good thought life and use affirmations like-im calm now-i forgive and let go easily-see its always about our over sensitized nerves and this rage the good dr talks about-we just dont know its there-but if you keep chipping away -you will find it.

    (Quote chepolina)- The pain is about 7/10 or more in both feet. Naturally, it's scary to just keep walking on them. I feel like I'm crushing my bones and tendons in the balls of my feet.

    (Quote Eric)-be patient chepolina and let the pain sub-side.it might take a while -dont hurry
    the blessing your going to get from the tms healing-

    (Quote chepolina)-But then I think - feet are meant to be walked on, and how do other people walk on them? Nothing is torn or fractured so then why does it hurt so much? It's a bit of a cycle in my head. But I'm trying really hard to not let the pain scare me.

    (Quote Eric)-Feet are made to be walked on and your probably going to have to do it in some form or fashion
    but see we have to at first treat the symtom like a broken leg-we know its hurt-we know its going to get better but we watch it and dont bang anything against it-then the day comes when the dr says ok were going to remove this cast now-and then you re-sume on with your life but see the cast is the repressions

    (Quote chepolina)-How did you do it, how did you just plow through the severe pain in your recovery?

    (Erics Quote)-i addressed the repressions-then i addressed the stressors-i learnt awareness and how to know my personality so i could catch my re-actions before i got bent out of shape-then i learned to affirm and meditate to calm down my system - then i could stop further repression and bad reactions-the fine art of re-leasing will come later but its where you realize that the way weve been brought up to think isnt correct when it comes to our angers and anxietys-its like i found out-i was beating the life out of myself with my own thoughts and emotions-hence the meditations and affirmations that become a part of our every day lives.then i re-learned
    and put my thinking in the right direction.at this time the pain sub-sided and i eventually healed but i went back to working out way before i fully healed-i just had that pain number down to a 1 or 2 when i de-cided then to lift heavy with no fear-
    i want to say-have a superior hope that you will win-this has power that a defeated mind lacks and keeps us from healing.you already have the confidence chepolina.
    you sound to me like you have the fight in you,now go and fight,but this time fight with no hands or feet-only the releasing of the repressions through facing and journaling is going to get you passed the first hurdle-which is a lot of times the only hurdle we have to beat-
    Jilly and Becca like this.
  13. chepolina

    chepolina Peer Supporter

    I'm taking what you are saying to heart, Eric. And I very much like your approach of fighting mentally first instead of diving head first and struggling through extreme pain.
    I've been working on all of this. Will see where it leads me!
    eric watson and Jilly like this.
  14. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    you got it chepolina-
    you got it-
    now you go and do it
    let me know how things go
    Jilly likes this.
  15. Jilly

    Jilly Well known member

    Eric, your'e so right on ! I just love reading your posts !
    eric watson likes this.
  16. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    thank you so much jilly-that means a lot coming from you
    your the best.
    god bless you jilly
    Jilly likes this.
  17. Jilly

    Jilly Well known member

    I learn so much from you and you keep me motivated ! * hugs* p.s. your'e the best * God bless you too *
    eric watson likes this.
  18. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    Hey, Guys,
    I read Dr. Fred Amir's book Rapid Recovery from Back and Neck pain. It is a must read.
    It helped me more than any other book. You can get it on Amazon and in the Kindel section
    have it downloaded to your computer.

    He talks a lot about visualizing yourself doing the activity you want without pain. I had been
    challenged with TMS for about 5 - 6 months. Read Dr. Sarno and nothing was helping.
    After reading his book within 10 days I was much better. I was struggling with sciatic pain
    and lower back pain. The symptoms would move around from one leg to the other. I would
    highly suggest this book.

    I realized after reading his book many of the TMS symptoms are from conditioning. So we need
    to re-condition our brains. You could do this through visualization, affirmations... The Amir
    book is very good in explaining it.

    It is very interesting though after three weeks of doing well, I started having sciatic pain again
    and started limping after a walk. Now, I am tilting to one side when I walk. I do not have a lot
    of pain when I walk but I have this limp. I believe it is the symptoms just trying to distract me
    again from repressed emotions. This is my impression. Does anyone have any other impressions.

    I will start journaling again to get to these emotions. Any suggestions about journaling?
    I am trying not to get discouraged. Any ideas?
  19. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Good advice, Eric.

    I've found great help through journaling. It's amazing what repressed emotions we can remember,
    but it can take a lot of journaling. Even a month is not too long. And if you stop journaling for a day or two
    or a week, new memories can come to add to the earlier ones.
  20. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    (Quote GR)-I realized after reading his book many of the TMS symptoms are from conditioning.
    (Quote Eric)-First listen to walt above-he really knows a thing or two-and stay with dr amir-ive heard good things from him-you summed it up to the point when ya said conditioning-the conditioning is still there-i have it sometimes,but i smooth it out-just stay with your program-dont get discouraged and keep moving forth this will be how you heal,and stay healed-see we get doses of freedom-huge doses,then we get a setback and we have to look where weve come from and know that if i have been this good then i just have to keep deconditioning and keep reconditioning,really the heart of the program is deconditioning.i think sarnos daily reminders is a must for every day .there for understanding , courage and to tell you the truth .id mix the reminders with amirs program maybe go back over it a few times-

    (Quote GR-)He talks a lot about visualizing yourself doing the activity you want without pain
    (Eric Qoute-) this is so key-those visualizations are powerful affirmations to the soul and when you can hold a pitchure long enough-you get that pitchure-keep holding on to being healed-visualize where you want to be-if its belief and hope and the usual ones like i forgive and let go easily,and im calm at peace and confident
    see sometimes subconsciously we could be making ourselves over sensitized to stressors not knowing so the visualizations if done consistent and long enough will heal and keep you healed
    its just a miner set back-we all have them as we heal-some say they dont-but im not sure from who all ive worked with.it seems to be universal that your going to have 5 steps forward and two steps back-then youll have 5 more steps forward and then maybe 2 steps back ,then its like wam you land right dab in the middle of i got it ville.

    (Quote GR)- I believe it is the symptoms just trying to distract me

    Eric Quote)-see the symtoms are from repressions and conditioning-yes it is repressed emotions thats the brain of sarnos teachings-journal and get to them as the strucuaral program will show you -go over them-face them -accept them-and make peace with them-then move on to the next repression-did you do the sarno journaling program or the tms wiki journaling program?
    let me know GR were here to help and i know as many others your doing great-i mean great
    when you do the journaling -just do as the program shows you on days 2-5 -journaling is a powerful tool-id suggest to keep a happy journal too after you do all the repressions see you have to face your repressions but when done you can go into a good state by reading about good things thats happened in your life- just keep on and finish the race.
    god bless

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