Day 1 A little introduction.

I'm a little nervous guy back from my childhood, i would be bullied or say intimidated by some of my friends which overtime was fine. My journey as a kid was going fine, i may have repressed some emotions back then but i don't feel like those emotions could magnitude myself dealing with TMS which i can be wrong. Fast forward to (During my college years), i had a trauma i would say i was being chased by 3 unknown guys, i had no idea about their intention so to escape that situation i started to run. My fear was on extreme level I would say, running for my physical well-being only to lead to a more catastrophic injury, i fell down and flipped upside down, although i hurt my mid back pretty badly, the pain around my lower back and upper back was not at all significant enough. Initial days dealing with the pain was tough, alot of painkillers, bending was very tough, almost all physical activities were tough, i had such incident in the past but of less magnitude and i had healed within a week or two, but this time the pain would not leave. I'm usually resistant to any kind of drugs but painkillers just to get me through. At this point i was really wondering, if i really had any structural damage i wouldn't be able to move but i was able to walk, like sit with back support. A month had passed and i decided to visit a doctor since nothing improved, the pain was a little mid back focused, muscle tightness was the problem. Doc advised MRI, did the MRI, it showed t5-t6 disc bulge, t10-t11, t11-t12 (thecal sac compression) no nerve compression that's what my doctor said, L4-L5 minor bulge. Okay now we begin, i know my problem, how do i fix (as a patient you don't much bother about the cause, rather just skip to the issue, how to minimise the pain permanently), Doctor gave me 3 months of meds course, anti inflammatory drugs etc and a back brace for support saying that it will keep you safe from further injuries. 3 months passed by (By now the doctor has changed city), idk where the initial doctor is but took a scheduled appointment with another doctor, a neurosurgeon who basically asked for MRI and said typical case like this Usually end up on wheel chair (you can relate that to my username) like 10-15 years later, i was like in so much anger coz my initial doctor said moderate case and this guy tells i'll end up on a wheel chair. I wasn't ready to let go my hope, i was like i'm just 25 imagining myself at 35 on a wheel chair (broke into pieces). I decided to stop visiting any doctor and research YouTube, I found spinal decompression to be helpful, 3 months after, same pain nothing changed. I've done countless physiotherapy(all those shit which do nothing but basically suck my money). But some days back as i was looking for an emotional music to get me through sleep there i saw a guy comment saying (I'm doing this just to get my repressed emotions out). I read replies on that comment and that guy says i'm doing Dr Sarnos healing the back and has healed like 40% in two days. Immediately my brain is like super active, research research research until i end up on amzon. com reviews, thought to purchase book but instead bought audio book as i'm a better listener than reader. I immediately pin point what he said and compared to myself, i'm suffering from TMS, this was my self diagnosis, i did what Dr Sarnos said, the 12 religious principles of his and immediately apply to myself. i don't have the luxury to visit tms doctor as i've none in my country. On the first day itself i saw like 30% reduction in pain. For the first time i could sit fot more than 5 minutes in 3 years with bearable pain, now pain is like shifting positions, from mid back to upper back to burning sensation on my neck. I would say like overall 30% improvement in just a day. I'm starting this program with confident that i'm a TMS patient and continue until i get to 100%. (ANY TIPS AND ADVICE). Do i need to go to my past to figure out the cause of repressed emotions, there's like a countless number of incident wherein i had repressed my emotions and for me to recall every incident is nearly impossible, what do i do?? Is there any way i could get out of repressed emotions(Mostly its anger i guess).

 

Welcome @Wheelchair. The answer to your questions is to start our free Structured Educational Program, which is on the main wiki. Do it with patience, do it with complete honesty, and do it with self-love. The whole point of the SEP is to guide you through the process, with a daily structure. Don't rush it! Just really commit to whatever each day asks you to do. You can recover!

 

Thanks a lot, and lately i've discovered some critical elements which i would say, like moments ago i was in fear, i could feel my throat getting tighter, i know it sounds like stupid but my brain is really telling me that i'm in danger. I know this is not danger, how do i convey the same message to my brain that i'm not in fear and there's nothing to worry about.

 

Welcome Wheelchair.

I posted this to someone else dealing with fear a moment ago. This is my best recommendation for you at this moment:

You might also use self-reassuring statements like "you're going to be OK." to yourself. Experiment with what feels soothing to you, both first and second person statements. Some of this kind of talk goes right past the fear activation and somehow reassures, or soothes us down deep, even when we might not feel convinced consciously of the statement.

Andy

 

thanks and i'll start working on it