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A little better but....

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Renate, May 28, 2015.

  1. Renate

    Renate Peer Supporter

    Hello everyone!

    My native tongue is german (I live in Austria/ Europe) so there will be mistakes in my posting.

    In december 2010 I was diagnosed from a necrosis of the sesamoid (a little bone) in my left foot. Half a year later, burning pain startet in the foot and from this moment on I could neither sit nor walk longer than 3-4 minutes because of the pain in my foot. So, since 4,5 years I am lying on my couch, which is sometimes very hard for me, particulary because I live alone.
    The diagnosis of my foot was/is CRPS (RSD).
    Three years ago my friend and I separated. It was the best solution for both of us, but nevertheless is was a difficult time for me (after 13 years of relationship)
    For my foot I' ve had every therapy you can imagine, even a SCS with two electrodes in my spine which was removed after three months.
    The necrosis has healed meanwhile, the last MRI in january 2015 did'nt show anything.

    Two month ago I startet to read the books of Dr.Sarno, Scott Brady, Eric Watson, John Kehoe, Steven Ozanich....and I am convinced that my pain is TMS..
    And the pain got already better!
    So I startet to walk outside and exercice on the hometrainer. I can walk about 300-400 meters, than the foot starts to hurt so much that I must stop. I do this twice a day and the hometrainer 3 times a day for some minutes. The rest of the day I am still lying except a quick coffee in a coffee- shop where I go by car ( it is an automatic).
    Now there are two questions:
    - Shall I continue to walk longer, even though my foot hurts so much that I could cry and then the pain continues till bedtime?
    - One thing that helps against the pain is a tissue soaked with cool water that I put around my foot. Does this prevent from healing because the foot gets too much attention?

    I hope my posting is not too confusing!
    IrishSceptic and Markus like this.
  2. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you for your post Renate and welcome…I know how much foot pain can be such a burden a 5 yr suffer myself. To answer your question yes continue to walk a little more everyday, this telling your brain that you are healthy and strong to do this. And yes there will be days that you don't want to move a muscle, those are the days you must tell your brain to #@#& off.

    Well regarding your foot soak, nothing is wrong with self care I would say its #1 on the healing dept…all you have to do is tell yourself that it feels good and it has nothing to do with healing. It just a placebo you enjoy its like giving yourself a gift after you walk…by the way which you deserve.

    Take it slow and 1 day at a time ( I know its the worse advice people hate to hear). Do not push the River.

    God Bless You.

  3. Renate

    Renate Peer Supporter

    Thank you for your answer Boston Redsox! So you know what foot-pain feels like. Would you tell me which problem you had with your foot/feet?
    Since I believe that I have TMS, my foot is really better. I don't even think any more of the name the doctors gave to my " disease".

    Have a nice day!
    Markus likes this.
  4. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Well it started soon after I had terrible stomach pain for 6 months when I finally got scoped and the dr found nothing the pain went away that day…whacky ha…a week later pain in my face hands arms everywhere…no basically its just my feet and lower legs and mainly the left side. Nerve pain, burning, feels like warm water or cold running down all whacky shit
    Renate and Markus like this.
  5. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Renate, you write very well. If you recall from SteveO's book he had to take some extreme measures to de-condition himself from his TMS such as having his wife hit him with a baseball bat and hit thousands of golf balls until collapsing. I 've found with my hip that after walking for about 20 minutes the joint juices start flowing and the pain disappears. Walking is not an extreme sport so attempting to break on through the pain should not be overly dangerous like base-jumping. Give it a shot, and see what happens.
  6. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Renate. I had severe back pain but no foot pain, although back pain tends to move down the leg so I had leg pain.
    I healed from learning about TMS. I discovered I had been repressing feelings from my boyhood after my parents divorced when I was 7.
    That left me with feelings of abandonment and insecurity. Journaling helped me to realize that my parents both had their own TMS pain from
    their early and adult years and that helped me to forgive them. They had passed on by then, but it helped me to forgive them mentally.

    Your pain may very well come from childhood emotions. Journaling in the Structured Educational Program will help you to discover them.
    I urge you to begin the SEP, free in the subforum on this web site.

    I appreciate that you read the book I wrote with Eric Watson. We're so glad it is helping people.

    My mother was born in Landek in the Austrian Tyrol and came to America with her parents and brothers and sisters when she was about 10.
    I visited Landek when I was in the US Army in Germany (Frankfurt am Main) for a year in 1956, and loved the town and the mountains.

    Keep us posted on your TMS healing progress. It is a wonderful adventure into self-awareness that makes us healthier and happier.
    oceana15 and Renate like this.
  7. Colly

    Colly Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Renate. I had chronic foot pain for over twenty years before my Dr Sarno discovery. Check out my success story for more details. After spending over 20 years fearful of walking, I'm now running several times a week, and hope to run my first 10K competitive run in 9 weeks!

    You'll get there! Tschüss:)
  8. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Colly, when are you going to serenade us with one of your arias? Tschuss--is that the plural for tush?
  9. IrishSceptic

    IrishSceptic Podcast Visionary

    never ceases to amaze me, the medical profession really need to understand this concept because as it is stands immense harm is being done unintentionally.
  10. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    So f in true they are Making us all drug attics
  11. Renate

    Renate Peer Supporter

    Thank you very much for your posts!

    Boston Redsox, I also know what stomach paine feels like, I've had it for years and years. Since I don' t drink a second cup of coffee it has disapeared. But maybe the coffee was just a trigger?

    Tennis Tom, I do my very best and try every day to walk a little longer ( without counting the steps or the distance!)

    Tschuss - in Germany it means good buy and is written tschüss. In Austria we say "baba" or "auf Wiedersehen" :)

    Walt, your book is so helpfull! About journaling: I had 5 years of psychotherapy, so there are nearly no experiences in the past I'm not conscious of, but I found out that there is a difference between talking or writing about.
    I follow the SEP since 10 days!

    Colly, you really give me hope! I read your story and was amazed how you have healed from all " diseases"!!
    I also was diagnosed from Sympathetis Dystrophie, but I really don't belief in it any more! Maybe I should dare to run instead of walking - as you did- with Grandmother-steps .

    This TMS-forum is very, very helpfull and I am so happy and grateful that I am no longer alone with my pain and my thoughts!
  12. Renate

    Renate Peer Supporter

    Tennis Tom, tschüss means good bye and not good buy ( the perfectionist in my told me to write this)
  13. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Renate. I imagine you are already reading everything you can find and working on a comprehensive understanding of TMS. Its a lot! Everything you are doing in terms of resuming activity is wonderful. I also wanted to mention to take a look at outcome independence and to also focus on exploring what is going on emotionally and psychologically. Its extremely difficult not to focus on the pain, whether it is there or not, what you might have done to aggravate it in some way. Each time you can successfully direct your mind away from the pain, and think about some other aspect of your life, the closer you will come to healing. We have to take the timer off that and believe me, I know how hard that is!!! I used to wake up every morning and my very first thought would be about how much pain I was in and how it was going to effect my day. My heart sings with joy right now knowing that I am sitting here writing this without any significant pain, and I woke up thinking about a project I am working on. It took me years and for some it happens instantaneously and for others just a few months. I see it as an ongoing process. But please do believe that you can live an active fulfilling life without pain being the focus.
    Last edited: May 31, 2015
    oceana15, Renate and Ellen like this.
  14. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    "Tschuss--is that the plural for tush?"

    What's a tushy then?
  15. Renate

    Renate Peer Supporter

    Tennis Tom, there is no singular of tschüss. For the other word you'd better look in the dictionnary....:rolleyes:

    Hi Anne Walker, I am so happy that you live now without pain! Pain can really absorbe one's life.
    Since 4,5 years I am lying on my couch, until three weeks ago I could not sit or walk more than some minutes because then the pain got so bad. So I have much time to read on the tmswiki and have already learned much from all the posts - and from all the books I read about TMS. Since some days my foot is not the first thing I think of in the morning and that' a great improvement, because that's what I did every day! Twice or three times a day I take a little walk. I take my smart phone with me and listen to the radio or I concentrate to the nature or another part of my body, not to my foot. Some days I have more pain, but then I know that there will soon come a better day.

    I wish you a happy danceaday!
    Boston Redsox and Anne Walker like this.
  16. mncjl123

    mncjl123 Peer Supporter

    Renate, how are you doing now 1 year later? I am in the same boat as you were when you wrote. Can't walk due to sesmoiditis, capsulitis, tendonitis after a severe injury. Now 3 years later, still fearful of walking as pain is daily. I also had my significant other of 20 years leave and know the loss of being alone. Keep me updated. I want to heal so badly. I still keep thinking TMS, then my mind goes in a million directions. I know it can't be operated on - MRI does show swelling, and inflammation in the semoid.
  17. Renate

    Renate Peer Supporter

    Hi mncji123,

    I am so sorry to hear that you are also going through such a hard time!
    Fortunately the necrosis in my left foot's sesamoide has disappeared after four years, without any surgeon or another treatment. The swelling of the bone marrow was also gone.
    Therefore it was easier for me to be convinced that I have TMS.
    As I wrote last year, I started - after having read the books of Dr. Sarno's and Steve Ozanich - to walk a little longer ( from 3 minutes to 10-15 minutes). I remember that when I was walking I was always talking to myself: "I am safe, there is nothing wrong with my foot, the pain is only an invention of my brain...!!!" Then, two months later, the pain got worse and I stopped the "new path" I was on. This was not a good idea (as I know now)!!!

    So this February I started again to walk a little longer. What helps me the most now is again the book of S. Ozanich and my self-talk, as mentioned above, and I try to distract my thoughts from my foot by listening to the radio or the affirmations (Louise Hay) I have recorded on my smartphone.

    And you know what? Now I can sit much longer - today I have been at the cinema for the first time since 5 years and 4 months!!!! I am so proud of myself!
    And I also can walk longer than in February.

    These days I have a little setback, but now I don't let it discourage me any more. I tell myself that this will pass and that I will get better soon.

    So let me sum up what helped me the most: the books of Dr.Sarno, Steve Ozanich, my self talk and the distraction of my thoughts from the pain to something else.
    AND: I had some sessions via skype with Georgie Oldfield, a TMS- practitioner in England.
    mncjl 123, maybe you can go and see a TMS-practitioner? I think this could help you to find out if you really have "only" TMS.

    And when you get better and then have ups and downs: don't let them discourage you as they did me the first time when I got better and then worse! Go on with everything that helped you before! It will get better again!

    Actually I have a little set- back. But now I know that everything I had learned will help me again and I continue my walks.

    Let me know how your "story" continues!

    Best wishes!
    mike2014 and Tennis Tom like this.
  18. mncjl123

    mncjl123 Peer Supporter

    thank you so much for the encouraging letter! I will take your advice. And, I am so glad to hear you are doing better. congrats on the theatre experience!

    I am reading the divided mind by sarno now. the easy part is saying, yep I have a psychological problem and it is tms. And , the other part of the brain that says what the dr.s said or saw on mri and the pain etc....

    I am also dealing with an elbow injury (bone bruise) and it has been 6 weeks. I worry and the fear sets in, oh will this be like my foot ? how long will this last. why cant it get better. But I guess a wall is pretty hard when you hit your elbow against it.

    I love louise hay. I think she says the foot is not wanting to move forward in life. but that is all I want to do!!!! maybe our subconscious needs a kick start?

    Constant pain is so distracting, and I know I need to feel and understand my emotions to get on the right path. I will keep you updated. Thanks again for encouraging me when you struggle as well.
    Renate likes this.
  19. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    WOW, congratulations Renate! I well recall when you were bed bound and flat on your back. Now you are up and about, walking and going to the movies--a TMS success story miracle. I agree that consulting with a TMS practitioner can put one in the fast-track to TMS healing. Keep up the great work!
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