4.5 Years of Chronic Pain Resolved in 2 Months

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

Like fuck I get help from the lovely folks here but I still have to do this shit myself — no magic words.

100%! Having said that, don't doubt how much of an impact a seemingly random comment can have. I've seen some comments you've made and thought wow if the person really understands that and takes it on board, it could be the difference. It's work in a sense and it can take time but at the same time I don't want you build it up as this monumental/impossible thing - once you're better you'll probably look back at what all the fuss was about!

I think its this feeling that sounds can cause ‘lasting’ setbacks whilst stress only temporarily lowers tolerance.

But it's all TMS - good to recognise this thinking as an issue as that works to split problems - and if you do that then it sends an inference to the brain that well if one is different to the other, then there's a good chance one is structural and the other is TMS (even if you consciously know otherwise) - but it all is!

 

[CalmIsTheCure]

Was not trying to cause an uproar haha. Just saying a lot of people cant afford 4k, especially when they cant work.

 

[shadowson]

I am not actively checking comments on here but am responsive on Instagram (thank you Adam and Mani). I do not recognize your username unless it's different there. If you are interested in my coaching services, you are welcome to reach out there. For me to answer what may still be contributing, I will need to know more detail about you and your story.

You're a disgrace. Posting your 'success story' as an advertisement to sell $4k coaching. This will bite you back in the arse. We're fed up of you 'coaches' claiming to be 100% pain free and profiting off desperate people. Disgusting behaviour - you should be banned from this forum

 

[CalmIsTheCure]

Oh gosh.

I feel like i have started something now.

Im sure she is well meaning and I do understand people need to make a living.

One cant help but notice however that a lot of coaches do not actually give you straight answers.

For 4K I would want a guarantee that you will walk by me and actually make sure that I heal. Infact id love someone to be so confident in their claims that they would be willing for me to pay them once I have seen fruitful results.

Some coaches are wonderful and will give their honest opinions for free which is very selfless and one absoloutly appreciates that.

I think some people must forget what it was like to be in the trenches themselves.


John Sarno himself said that this need not be complicated so it does make one wonder how it has become so complex.
If John Sarno had given a set of comprehensive instructions in his books maybe more people would heal faster. I myself found that although one saw themselves on every page of the book, I was left scratching my head as to what to do next. This is how I believe a lot of us end up reading every book in the book shop and then totally bamboozle ourselves.

I imagine this is why some of us struggle to heal because the space has become over saturated with information that one can not trust a process.

Anyway seems im rambling.

Maybe I will never get an answer to my actual original question.

 

[Mani]

Oh gosh.

I feel like i have started something now.

Im sure she is well meaning and I do understand people need to make a living.

One cant help but notice however that a lot of coaches do not actually give you straight answers.

For 4K I would want a guarantee that you will walk by me and actually make sure that I heal. Infact id love someone to be so confident in their claims that they would be willing for me to pay them once I have seen fruitful results.

Some coaches are wonderful and will give their honest opinions for free which is very selfless and one absoloutly appreciates that.

I think some people must forget what it was like to be in the trenches themselves.


John Sarno himself said that this need not be complicated so it does make one wonder how it has become so complex.
If John Sarno had given a set of comprehensive instructions in his books maybe more people would heal faster. I myself found that although one saw themselves on every page of the book, I was left scratching my head as to what to do next. This is how I believe a lot of us end up reading every book in the book shop and then totally bamboozle ourselves.

I imagine this is why some of us struggle to heal because the space has become over saturated with information that one can not trust a process.

Anyway seems im rambling.

Maybe I will never get an answer to my actual original question.

It is complicated because people try to understand it.

I have tried to understand whats exactly happening but you dont need to.

When you get cancer, your own cells start attacking your own body.

This is similar. Stress (repression chronic stress trauma whatever) causes major fallout within the body.

For some that might be back pain for others itll be tinnitus or fibromyalgia or whatever.

Your brain/body is confused.

I also start rambling on this forum because its really hard to properly convey something thats not very established.

We know tms exists and we know the type of people that usually get it. slowly were supposed to learn how we can once again nourish our bodies. And its hard as fuck for most

 

[Mani]

And if you ask multiple people what tms is, youll get multiple answers. It simply behaves differently and has different specific ‘causes’. I have tried asking what exactly is going on with me and everyone gives different answers. We simply dont know. We need to realize and understand that it doesnt matter what exactly caused it

You just need to learn to communicate with your body. I believe that is the broadest and most simple to grasp.

And @Adam Coloretti (coach) , thats very flattering but i really just respond to support and engage with people. I dont have a clue what is going on inside our bodies. I have stopped trying to understand. Just need to make the changes to hopefully stop the anarchy

 

[CalmIsTheCure]

And if you ask multiple people what tms is, youll get multiple answers. It simply behaves differently and has different specific ‘causes’. I have tried asking what exactly is going on with me and everyone gives different answers. We simply dont know. We need to realize and understand that it doesnt matter what exactly caused it

You just need to learn to communicate with your body. I believe that is the broadest and most simple to grasp.

And @Adam Coloretti (coach) , thats very flattering but i really just respond to support and engage with people. I dont have a clue what is going on inside our bodies. I have stopped trying to understand. Just need to make the changes to hopefully stop the anarchy

So you are saying that the people who get better just got better with no idea how they did it?

Then why are there programmes.

One also cant help but notice that there were a lot more success stories back in the day. I imagine before the space got over saturated with different opinions.

And if no one can tell us what we need to do to heal then why on earth would Emily say on her Instagram she can tell you exactly where you are stuck. What ones patterns are and what one needs to do to heal.

 

[Mani]

you are saying that the people who get better just got better with no idea how they did it?

most people do know how they themselves got better yes. That doesnt mean they know how it works for everyone.

I’m not knowledgeable enough on tms theory. All i know is that i was desperately looking for the why’s, and never got completely satisfying logically coherent answers from most people. I have since stopped trying to get all the answers.

I asked you this before but you mentioned that you have ‘tried’ everything. Do i understand that means you are not really doing anything like tms work right now?

 

[CalmIsTheCure]

I am. But I do not really know what one should be doing when nothing has shown fruitful results. So I am at a loss of what I need to actually do.

 

[Mani]

I am. But I do not really know what one should be doing when nothing has shown fruitful results. So I am at a loss of what I need to actually do.

What did you learn from doing the SEP? Do you feel like you learnt anything at all from anything you did?

This is a genuine question btw

 

[CalmIsTheCure]

I feel I know a lot about myself yes.

But uncovering these things about myself has not led to healing.

Ive done a lot of self exploration. This is one thing one has absoloutly not hidden from.

However no fruitful results from feeling my feelings, expressing or becoming more self aware sadly.

Which then obviously makes one confused what the message from the symptoms really are.

How long have you been on your journey fellow traveller?

 

[Mani]

How long have you been on your journey fellow traveller?

Ive been dysfunctional since kindergarten. It was OCD unexplained crippling Belly cramps neck pain. Was frequently sent home too because i suddenly ran pale or whatever else would happen.

Ive had worse and better years since until it all came to a halt when my reaally chronic symptoms started. Its just hyperacusis which means that all sounds are too loud.

I first learnt about tms shortly after this and i did unlearn your pain by schubiner but just couldnt get it to catch on and got continually worse for a year roughly. Now im on meds (clomipramine) and have thrown a ton at the wall to see what sticks and ive only now been getting some marginal improvements. These improvements mean the world because i know that if i can get 1% better, i also can get fully better.

I dont know exactly which of the things im doing are contributing to my better situation. I just know that I wasnt a functioning human so i defo got tms for a reason. I have a long journey ahead of me and i dont know if ill ever actually return to living.

I can completely understand your frustration and helplessness but i dont really know what to tell you. I just kept coming here because i had nowhere else to go. If this doesnt work I dont get better. I dont have an out — this is it.


The things that i think have helped ne:

• Really welcoming all sensations in the body whether positive or negative
• Not trying to be a perfectionist about tms improvement (i was so scared that i wouldnt respond perfectly to a trigger which made me more scared both before and after exposure)
• Trying to stop berating myself and just accepting life as it is right now.
• Trying to separate myself from the outcome (I was more afraid of the setback than the sounds themselves which is a contradiction because if i knew i didnt get setbacks id stop being afraid of noise but the fact that theres setbacks makes me afraid, not the noises themselves)
• Being obsessed with sounds gives me a sense of control and I’ve tried to stop my desire to be in control at all times.

Theres probably so much more but these are the things i can think of right now that have made me feel like a better functioning human

 

[Mani]

The thing which made it stick for me is my status

“Trying to do a little better each day”

I was so scared at the start that id have to do major exposures and stop protecting and putting huge pressure on myself and that is all not at all needed. I just need to try to do a little teeny bit better each day.

I felt such a relief when i realized that i didnt have to do a major integral regimen which i knew would only amplify my stress and all that comes with being a hyperperfectionist. At first I was scolding myself constantly that I responded to a sound lol. I just continued doing what i knew: constantly hating myself.

I have got nowhere to go so at first i tried to be okay with my situation as it is now. Coping with the catastrophe that is our life is very healthy. If i dont get better at least ill deal with all this shit better.

Im not the tms knowitall on this forum and im honestly at a loss as to why ive had improvements. I just felt like its important to mention that i felt like id done it all the first time around; I was wrong.


Oh yeah and the mindset shift. Im not doing all of this just to ‘get better’, but out of genuine self compassion and because i genuinely want to treat myself better

 

[CalmIsTheCure]

Im so sorry for your suffering. I really hope that one day you get the healing you truely deserve.
Have you been able to work with a TMS coach at all?

Im not looking for you to answer my questions by the way.

I originally posted because I felt drawn to this coach,.however I do become frustrated when I see these success stories posted and they do not answer follow up questions. Especially when they say that they can help.

Maybe that it just my frustration. Perhaps others do not feel the same way.

 

[Mani]

Have you been able to work with a TMS coach at all?

Lol so I cant talk so calling is not an option and through text theres just noone thatll entertain it. This is my family here. These people always help.

Im so sorry for your suffering.

LOL, it aint your fault, preciate it though.

I understand that youre looking for a new perspective. By all means go look for it. You might just need another scope.

Do you feel comfortable sharing what your major issues have been?


I also understand how thankless it is to try to convince tmsers that they actually can get better. Theres this guy im in touch with online and he too had hyperacusis. He too cant really do anything. I told him to just post his story here once. Just maybe engage with these people. Mind you hes had this for roughly half his life, 13 years to be exact.

And i get so frustrated like mate whats your problem. All you have to do is just post your story here. Why dont you want to get better?

I just needed to dump that here because i notice that im kind of falling out with him because i just cant grasp why you wouldnt take this hand and post your story. We have no fucking life. ARGH i find it so frustrating.

And then imagine youre in touch with these people that dont have it yet and rhey constantly get mad and feel misunderstood. Its like talking to a wall. I keep asking wuestions too but answering questions is not gonna get me better.

Letting go is a big theme in my life. I need to learn to let go

 

[Mani]

I actually did have mail contact with a sweetheart rhat wanted to take time out of his week to just take tms things through with me. I am very honest in a dutch sense so i told him that his answer wouldve frustrated me a month ago because im after tangible advice and not floaty buzzwords. He never responded to me after that which i feel bad for cause i did appreciate him but yeah whatever man. I might send him a text that im sorry

 

[Rabscuttle]

I feel I know a lot about myself yes.

But uncovering these things about myself has not led to healing.

Ive done a lot of self exploration. This is one thing one has absoloutly not hidden from.

However no fruitful results from feeling my feelings, expressing or becoming more self aware sadly.

Which then obviously makes one confused what the message from the symptoms really are.

How long have you been on your journey fellow traveller?

I think it’s a bit naive or overly optimistic to always think there’s always a message behind the symptoms. I’ve made peace that I thrust my Nervous system into perpetual fight or flight and that my brain no longer trusts me. It’s up to me to earn that trust back again. I think it’s better to look at the bigger picture and think how am I living in the present that’s keeping my brain afraid rather looking for hidden messages in our emotions or childhood. I know I still focus too much in the physical, I know that I can be very cruel to myself, I know that when I have good moments I historically have resorted to putting pressure on myself to get things done and make up for lost time. I think more people should really examine how they’re speaking to themselves and what theyre fixated on and they’ll get their answer pretty quick.

and my criticisms of Op were how about they came to this forum with no established relationship and just immediately post their success story as an ad for over priced services. If someone established did they same id think better of it. But to come here and hide advice behind a paywall is gross.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

One cant help but notice however that a lot of coaches do not actually give you straight answers.

Some things can be answered straight but with more specific, personal questions it is hard to answer without more information - especially with the emotional side of the work we are all so different with vastly different experiences, trauma etc (TMSers do converge personality wise that is true) - so I would keep that in mind (I can give you my broad stance on graded exposure for example, but that might be different to others and it also depends how you are doing it and what your mindset/intention is). I'd be more skeptical of someone who thinks they know all the answers without knowing anything about you or your circumstances.

If John Sarno had given a set of comprehensive instructions in his books maybe more people would heal faster.

I do think this is reflecting what I said above - he's acknowledging that broader guidelines are more appropriate given the nature of this work. It's more like therapy than physiotherapy - in physiotherapy if you have a torn hamstring the rehab is basically the same for everyone (you just do what you're told), whereas in therapy it wouldn't be possible to have an exact roadmap for every person (it's a lot easier to influence someone's body than their mind). I know that you want an exact roadmap (and I did too), but that's not really how it works to me because it's an inner journey involving belief, mindset and self-compassion (in the main). I can't force you into any of those three.

This is also evident by what you said about there being a lot of different ways to do it (the central principles are all the same) - I think that is more reflective of the nature of healing rather than people trying to differentiate themselves for business purposes (naturally there'd be some of this).

Everyone heals themselves when it comes to TMS - a coach guides, supports, educates and can point out what they believe someone is doing wrong/can give strategies, but ultimately it's your success story because it's your mindset and belief that moves the needle. By all means seek out the assistance of a coach, but don't give your power away or think they are going to heal you, you've already done enough of that with the medical model - you are more than capable of doing this solo

 

[CalmIsTheCure]

Sadly, when one first reads the books perhaps it is over simplified. They walk in to say schubiner or someone. They clearly identify the core issue and whamo 2 weeks later they are healed.
Perhaps everyone just over simplifies the books.

But thank you so much for such a concise response. I am sure you are a wonderful coach yourself. As I say I didnt come here to upset anyone, just frustrated no simple answer to the issue I raised.

Anyway it seems this thread has now got off track.

Much love and support to everyone still in the trenches

 

[painexplained_tms]

I want to take a moment to clarify a few things.

As Adam mentioned, it’s very difficult to pinpoint exactly why symptoms are persisting without understanding someone’s full story. That’s why the question isn’t simply about things like gradual exposure, it’s about identifying why the symptoms are there in the first place. And I can’t responsibly answer that based on the limited information that was shared here.

That’s also why I directed you to my Instagram. It’s a much better space for actual conversation. I prefer voice notes and more in-depth back-and-forth so I can really understand someone’s experience, rather than trying to do that through a comment thread. If you have reached out in the past and I missed it, I apologize, however I do not remember receiving anything related.

I also want to be clear that the only reason I mentioned my coaching in the comments was because I was asked about it, specifically whether I work with men in my program. In response to that, I shared where we could discuss that further.

I offer a range of support options that meet all budget points, and I also spend a lot of time having conversations and helping people outside of my paid work. At the same time, I’ve learned that it’s not fair to my paying clients for me to coach people through an entire healing journey for free. My time and energy need to go to the people who have committed to that level of support.

I’m always happy to offer general guidance and perspective where I can, but there are limits to what can be done in this kind of space.

My intention here was simply to share a success story and a perspective that may help someone. If you want to follow along or learn more, that option is there. If not, that’s completely okay too.

I do this work because it genuinely matters to me. I’ve been through this myself, and now I get to witness the transformations my clients experience when they commit to the process. I stand behind what I do because I see those results consistently but healing ultimately depends on the individual. I can guide you, but it requires effort, consistency, and a willingness to implement what’s being taught.

For the clients I do work with, I’m very involved. I provide close support, daily access, and one-on-one guidance throughout the process. I’m deeply committed to the people who choose to work with me.

I truly wish you all the best in your healing.