Day 1 2nd time around

[331]

I've had years of mysterious ailments. Foot pain, numb legs, coccydynia, testicular pain, digestive issues, reflux, allergies, head/neck/shoulder/elbow/wrist/hand pain and tingling. These physical symptoms have coincided with mild, but persistent, depression and fatigue.

I went to doctors for my depression and fatigue. A spine specialist was actually able to cure my coccydynia. A urologist explained my testicular lumps and attendant pain. So, most things seemed to have an answer. Hay fever? Tons of people get that. There's even a season for it.

For some things, the doctors just said, "I don't know. Let's try X." They were honest. I didn't feel the need to look elsewhere.

I accepted that depression and anxiety caused my digestive issues. Again, another answer.

But, the pain in my arms and neck is what did me in. I had to stop riding my bike. I was considering leaving my career in favor of one where I did not have to type on a computer, or hold anything. I started to panic.

A friend introduced me to Dr. Sarno's book. My pain was gone inside of 2 weeks.

Now, after a year, I'm back. The pain and tingling in my arms now extends through my neck and to the top of my head. It's a strange sensation that cause panic which, in turn, causes me shortness of breath. To be sure, my life is stressful now. I'm taking career risks. I'm extending myself in order to grow. But this pain and panic weighs heavy on me. My face feels heavy and I think everyone can see my depression/anger/anxiety. It makes my want to hide. I am hiding more.

So, now I'm at Day 1.

Does anyone know the relationship, or difference, between stress induced symptoms and TMS?

 

[Stella]

I see them as the same. When I feel symptoms I go through all the personality traits to see which ones are tripping me up. Am I trying to hard to be perfect. Am I disappointing others? Am I beating myself up? Am I afraid of failure? Am I afraid of rejection? Am I angry but can't express it. Am I loosing control? Then I find they are all intertwined. Am I taking too much responsibility? I journal about all of these.

When I feel the dark cloud cross my mind I can connect it to seeing or hearing someone being disappointed in me.

 

[331]

I see them as the same. When I feel symptoms I go through all the personality traits to see which ones are tripping me up. Am I trying to hard to be perfect. Am I disappointing others? Am I beating myself up? Am I afraid of failure? Am I afraid of rejection? Am I angry but can't express it. Am I loosing control? Then I find they are all intertwined. Am I taking too much responsibility? I journal about all of these.

When I feel the dark cloud cross my mind I can connect it to seeing or hearing someone being disappointed in me.

Thanks for reminding me of those questions, Stella. For some reason my focus goes elsewhere and I forget that TMS is linked to the things you indicate: perfection, expectations, suppressed rage, control, etc. On the surface, I don't see myself as having tendencies toward these traits. But, when I really consider it, I have them in spades.