@karinabrown, I understand how you're feeling! I had severe sciatica that made it almost impossible for me to walk/move at all. It's not about 'simply start living', it's about taking steps, doing the work and teaching yourself that it's your mind that's creating the pain. This has been one of the hardest things I've done, because I had so much fear connected to each one of my symptoms. I know that it's possible to get better, so don't give up.