I have totally and thoroughly enjoyed reading Walt and Eric's book God Does Not Want You To Be In Pain and am now rereading it. There were two things that just struck me between the eyes. One was a question posed about being calm. How often do you allow yourself to feel calm? It made me stop and think and I realized that I needed to cultivate and develop a sense of calm for myself. After so many consecutive years of family loss and care taking, I feel like that switch for calmness got covered up. I understand how deeply I need that to experience calm - just like the experience of trust in order to recover from TMS. The other statement had to do with being a goodist. Eric framed it as being seen as weak by those who press upon our boundaries. I know he wasn't saying it in a way that shows the other person being conscious of their actions and doing it on purpose. The real motivation for taking on that sense of being weak was to show where I can grow and develop. All of a sudden, my focus LEFT about how the other person takes advantage of me, my resentment of not being appreciated to a place of "Oh! I can do something about this." And ever since I read that one little sentence, I have been miraculously able to throw up boundaries and say no - standing my ground. Not in a reactive way but in a stance that is strong and powerful. These situations where I over do and take on other people's responsibilities are completely tied to the TMS flareups. Cool stuff. Thanks Eric and Walt!!