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Day 10 My son I never share my feelings with

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Gezondweerop, Aug 1, 2018.

  1. Gezondweerop

    Gezondweerop Newcomer

    Day 10, and the question to ponder is whom I never share my feelings with. Today I wrote an unsent letter to my eldest child who one day stepped out of my life and never told me why. Now its seven years ago and when someone refuses any contact, it ends, because contact needs two persons in it.
    He is a great part of all the pain and I would like to share my feelings because I still love him and feel no anger only sadness, a lot of sadness.
    I did a lot of work the last years to overcome this sadness and to respect his wish of no contact. But the sadness and pain didn’t disappear. His father stopped sharing news about him, he still sees his son. We divorced over 20years ago. His sister feels ‘in between’ and doesnt want to talk with me about her brother.
    What to do when someone doesn’t want to share his feelings with you and doesn’t want to hear my feelings and when this causes you a lot of pain and sadness?
    Writing this helps, also writing the unsent letter helps. This forum helps. I’ve never been on a forum and I’m still trying to understand all the possibility’s of it.
     
  2. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hello sweetheart,

    This must be an incredibly difficult and painful situation for you but I commend your willingness to stay open-hearted and in a dialogue of sorts, even if this is only in your private thoughts and musings.

    Your situation presents a particularly poignant example of the unsent letter. It calls to mind memories and images of ribbon-wrapped letters of old, so many words and emotions held safe on numerous pages.

    Not long ago I heard of a man whose wife died and in his heartbreak and grief he determined to write her a letter each day. When his own time came his children inherited this parcel of unsent, unread love letters. It's beautifully tragic and yet I am sure the act of writing and 'speaking' with his absent wife kept his heart and his love for her open and soft.

    Maybe there is something in this story for you? Maybe this period of seperation will pass into sweet history and you will know each other again and these unread letters may act as emotional bridges into that future, for you at least. And if not, may they serve as a resting point, a place to hold these tender emotions safe.

    I'm glad this forum helps you. There is a world of possibility here and many kind souls who will help you heal.

    Love,

    Plum x
     
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  3. Lainey

    Lainey Well known member

    Geez...
    So sorry for the rift in your family and the sadness is has generated. My TMS came back with a vengeance after a similar split with my daughter and the death of a brother who had cut himself off from the family at large many years ago.

    I understand the sadness but.....maybe it is time to take that step forward and ‘let it be’ as was so movingly sung in the long ago Beatles song. You can begin here, on this site by starting the SEP program, and/or Alan’s program. If you also suffer physically these programs help immensely. Writng about your hurt, anger, and other emotions is okay. Write to and for yourself. You can move forward through this pain.
    Kindly,
    Lainey
     
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  4. Gezondweerop

    Gezondweerop Newcomer


    Dear Plum,
    Thank you so much for your warm answer and idea to write him more (unsent) letters with an open hart. I sometimes write some thoughts down but never with the idea you wrote about.
    I will think about that because I feel still so much love and maybe this is a way to let this love flow instead of trying to put it deep away. The first manner will open my hart, the second wil close it and develops TMS pain.
    You must be one of the kind souls of this forum. With love, Gezondweerop.
     
    plum likes this.
  5. Gezondweerop

    Gezondweerop Newcomer


    Lainey, thank you for replying my post. I’m still uncomfortable to post, do not know well how to handle and have never been on a forum. So a little bit uncertain about everything. But after your answer I feel better. I already followed Alan’s programm and now the SEP and It really helps. Doing this is making a step forward for sure.
    And in addition...my English improves
    Warm greetings
    Geozndweerop
     
    plum likes this.
  6. Gezondweerop

    Gezondweerop Newcomer


    Lainey, thank you for replying my post. I’m still uncomfortable to post, do not know well how to handle and have never been on a forum. So a little bit uncertain about everything. But after your answer I feel better. I already followed Alan’s programm and now the SEP and It really helps. Doing this is making a step forward for sure.
    And as a
     

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