I am my most “severest critic” and it affects me because I was pushed away by my Mother as a child. She was grieving the loss of my baby brother. I tried to get her attention, her approval, her acceptance every day every way I could. If I didn’t get her attention I must have been doing something wrong so I just needed to work at being more perfect. If I flubbed up I started beating myself on my head with a baseball bat. The baseball bat has now become a constant companion. I now have my own monogrammed baseball bat that is always in my hand for beating myself on the head. It has grown larger as I have. My palm fits perfectly when wrapped around the bat. I have carried it for many many years. I have become very good at using the bat on my head. The more I do it, the better I get. It is not a particularly heavy baseball bat. It is actually quite light weight allowing for multiple beatings on my head when a mistake has been committed. I am thinking about retiring my baseball bat. I am thinking about putting the bat in the back of my closet. Just thinking about storing it away I can feel my eyes lift up. My body stands taller allowing clean fresh air to enter my lungs. I can now raise both my hands up to the sun breathing a huge sigh of relief allowing me to face a much brighter happier new me. That baseball bat is a lot heavier than I realized. I’ll kick that bat to the curb for Thursday’s trash pickup.