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Day 10 Making changes

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by birder, Jan 23, 2018.

  1. birder

    birder Well known member

    How am I doing? It sounds weird, but I can feel a shift. Things are changing - not necessarily in a "fairy tale ending" fashion where I'm suddenly and blissfully pain free. But it's a significant shift. After yesterday's debacle at the ortho doc's, I was literally trembling with anxiety and fear the rest of the day and through the night. ALL my "issues" flared. I felt like my progress had been lost (and this is how I react to good news - which, once you strip away all the medical what-ifs, it was!) I knew, at last, that tension was causing this and had been causing my pain for years. Aha!
    I woke up and it was a new day. With new pain. Everything in my right foot/ankle hurts, EXCEPT the area over the old injury. Aha again! My brain having a good laugh at my expense. Normally I would have stayed in my chair and iced. Today, I took a walk. It hurt - at first. In fact, I had a brand new pain in my right knee, which has never hurt before. But by the time I was on the return leg, my walking was as normal and natural as it had ever been, even before the accident.
    I'm taking small steps to reclaim my life. Here's what I've accomplished so far: of the many, many things I do to address my pain - so many I'm embarrassed to mention them all here - I've dropped three. I've temporarily stopped wearing my Fitbit, because I realized I was using it to judge my performance and put pressure on myself. I downloaded HBP onto my phone, and I play it whenever I have a chance. SteveO is right, there's something about hearing the material that gets my synapses firing. Who knew? And I'm smiling more. Like, in the mirror. Not because I'm suddenly filled with glee, but because it's one of things you're afraid to do when your face muscles hurt. But - use it or lose it. One other thing - I've started to look for a job. I've been a self-employed writer for a long time and it feels like the right time to mix things up a bit, be among people.
    These seem like small steps, but they feel pretty damn mighty to me.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2018
    Ithantech, JanAtheCPA and Ellen like this.

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