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How to relax and slowly release tension?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by jonconner, Apr 14, 2021.

  1. jonconner

    jonconner Peer Supporter


    I have soooo much tension in my face, head, neck and shoulders from years of stress and anxiety.

    I also tense my pelvic floor, if I bring my mind to it I can "drop" or release the muscle, but as soon as I move my attention or get anxious the muscle tense and that contributes to my main symptoms which are unwary frequency and urgency.

    How do I release all this tension built up over years and years? and how does that change stick and then I become stronger?

    many thanks to you all
  2. johnebbe

    johnebbe New Member


    I'm experiencing the exact same thing. For the the pain has mostly disappeared but the tension remains.

    Want to get back to exercising as prescribed by Sarno et.al. but find it really difficult!
  3. BloodMoon

    BloodMoon Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi @jonconner,

    As crazy as it may seem, a good way of relaxing your pelvic floor - which will also relax your face muscles - is to relax your jaw. A normal resting tongue position is key for this and can be found by placing your tongue against the roof of your mouth as if making a “clucking/clicking” sound. Ideally the front 1/3 of the tongue should rest upwards, just behind the front teeth. This is considered to be the best position for your tongue to help keep the jaw muscles more relaxed. The pelvic floor muscles always have some tension in them otherwise you'd be wetting yourself all of the time but, with the right tongue position, your pelvic floor muscles won't be overly tense.

    I put 'post it' notes around my house which just said 'tongue' on them - to remind me to put my tongue in the correct position to relax my jaw. I also made a point of noticing my tongue position in association with certain daily activities, e.g. after I ate I'd make a point of noticing my tongue position and altering it to the correct position and every time I climbed any stairs etc (just choose your activities). I kept doing this until it became automatic and natural - a new, good habit (by rewiring your brain - through neuroplasticity).

    Doing this persistently and gently (I didn't mentally beat myself up every time I found my tongue was in the wrong position) worked for me. (I had chronic pelvic floor pain and TMJ for years before I did this.)


    TrustIt, Marls, Renee and 1 other person like this.
  4. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    Great suggestion BloodMoon. They are connected.

    Once I learned about TMS I search for all the ways I could reduce mental and physical tension. I included some of them in my book. The technique that I have found most effective for muscle tension and have been practicing for more than 25 years does involve relaxing the jaw and tongue as BloodMoon mentioned.

    When I do it before sleep it helps me get a deep restful sleep. When I do it after a tense day it refreshes me. I made an audio that guides through the process. It is available now for free. You can listen to it at www.fredamir.com/podcasts. Just scroll down to the podcast titled
    Relieve Physical and Mental Tension.

    What I like about it is that you as you practice it you become more aware of when your muscles are becoming tense. Then you can take steps to relax them long before they become too tense or painful.

    Take care,
    backhand and BloodMoon like this.
  5. mugwump

    mugwump Well known member

    Cool, I think I've learned a new thing today.
    BloodMoon likes this.
  6. jonconner

    jonconner Peer Supporter

    Hi thanks for your reply. I looked for the podcast but I can’t find it.

    FredAmir likes this.
  7. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    Here is a video on progressive muscle relaxation from Johns Hopkins, which is the same content as the podcast.
    fridaynotes and jonconner like this.

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