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How many hours do you work per day?

Discussion in 'Community Off Topic' started by Xara, Nov 23, 2022.

  1. Xara

    Xara Peer Supporter

    When my symptoms began it became much challenging even to cope with my nine hours job that I used to have. It was almost impossible.
    Fortunately, I found an easier and more interesting job, with less hours, I feel proud of doing this. But even now, although I have made much progress, it is quite tough some days, besides the fact I have to cook, tide, clean and be responsible for a child.
    I wonder ( I think I need reassurement) how many hours of working other people can handle ( especially those with tms stories).
    I know that there are many people who work for 10, 12 or even 15 hours, but at the moment I find this cruel, even if I could do it. On the other hand, I feel I am not enough, because of this.
    Any opinions?
     
  2. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I tried working when i first had fibromyalgia (so called!) and got really ill. Then i didn't work for years - and got really ill....
    I tried all manner of combinations of work and rest and study.....
    I did not have children because i was so ill i could not of been an effective parent.
    Then i discovered TMS/DR Sarno - got rid of the fibro - over 2 years on the whole (3 months full time TMS 'work' )
    I was then able to work again as a landscaper and garden designer.
    I have worked a lot in the 10 years since - BUT - I do need rest time and recuperation time and time to do TMS stuff as needed.
    I am now giving up work - mostly!! The money comes in handy for food etc.....!!
    The point is - only you can decide/calculate what work you can do when.
    Looking after children is REALLY hard work and working is hard !!! You just have to ensure you set aside recovery/rest/TMS time - as well as your responsibilities. Only you can decide - but it is imperative to allow the time to do TMS stuff/relax!
    My husband calls me 'half a day Jo ' because I am useless after grafting hard - really hard - all morning..... Me - I insist that a lunch hour - is just that - a full uninterrupted hour!!
    I am lucky that we are both happier being skint and working less - and that we chose to move out of our home and rent it, thereby reducing our outgoings.... we have to make the best choices we can.....
     
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  3. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yep. And that might mean sticking to your own inner clock rather than somebody else's idea of what you 'ought' to be doing.

    I can work about 9 hours straight without even sitting down or eating If I am on a carpentry/paint/drywall job. HOWEVER, on the days I am off I lay in bed for HOURS reading, relaxing. NAP is mandatory on non-work days....I guess projects give me enough nervous energy to go on, but remove the challenge?? Zzzzzzzzzzz

    Certain gals I have dated have made some snide comments about 'oh...did you get your NAP in yet?'....and to keep track of my rage I need to insta-delete their input. "Sorry... that's how we roll here"

    Part of recovery from TMS was inspection of motives, outcomes, likes and dislikes. Honest questions to ourselves.
     
    Xara likes this.
  4. Xara

    Xara Peer Supporter

    It is a tricky theme to me. I was raised - we are all raised - with the notion that we always have to do something, work, study, clean, plan etc.
    It is not always about how much time you can work but how much time you need to have with your loved ones and with yourself besides the need to survive and have an ordinary life as money is concerned.
    7 years passed till I did eventually got a nap....one day. I like naps!

    True
     
  5. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    also... Lots of things that aren't paid 'work' per se, can fatigue your brain fast. I get far more tired doing paperwork and paying bills than I do moving furniture or digging holes. My best friend is a tech security guy who has to sit and work on his computer for 10-15 hours at a crack. He makes really good money
    One day we were chatting and he said "You could do my job , you know". I suppose he was being flattering really meaning "You could figure OUT my job with your level of intellect". I corrected him. I could NEVER do his job because I can't sit still that long and I would get really sleepy.

    Also...childcare. I was waaaay more tired when I stayed home and watched my boys then I ever got working 12 hour shifts in the studios.
    And probably the most important job out there
     
  6. Xara

    Xara Peer Supporter

    Also...childcare. I was waaaay more tired when I stayed home and watched my boys then I ever got working 12 hour shifts in the studios.
    @Baseball65 you reminded me that I was NEVER tired before my child was born. There must be a connection between emotions and fatigue. Fear about its security, if I handle things right besides all the procedures needed, meal, breakfast, bath, playing, reading stories, visiting places, being patient and calm whatever happens, having all time in mind what there has to be done, being guilty when something is not going as I planned it ( when he eats sweets and not vegetables...)
    It is 24 hour job :p:p 7-365. For a perfectionist is like writing final exams every day.
     
    Baseball65 likes this.
  7. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Being a parent was definitely near the core of my symptoms. Sarno cites so many different parenting conflicts, all unconscious, in the text of HBP.

    Being a' good' Father was in conflict with all of my narcissistic needs(wants). I have a note scribbled in the margin of my copy of HBP which is still held together with tape....

    "Music vs Painting vs Baseball vs Family" . Funny. I still have all of those things in my life, just not in the capacity that SUPER EGO wanted. I had to make some choices between Narcissistic dreams and service ideals. I am not sure that the choices mattered as much as my AWAREness of them mattered.

    The Bonus good news is that both of my sons are full instructed in TMS so they have been able to fend off a lot of the developmental pain stuff that most young people go through.

    That's why work never tired me.... I was always able to leave it 'there', whereas the goodist parent voice follow(s) me around everywhere...even now when they are adults...It just has a new 'story'. Mercifully, I usually can intercept it long before it becomes a symptom
     
    Xara likes this.
  8. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member


    Baseball, I can relate to what you wrote. My largest source of angst is/was parenting. I have a young adult daughter and I never felt like I was doing enough or doing it right. I figured my friends were probably doing a better job of parenting than me. Only recently have I been able to let go of that negative way of thinking. That self-defeating thought process probably involved low self esteem and my intrinsic anxiety, plus who knows what else. I really had to let it go for my sanity. Other people and situations can affect me, but not like my kid.
     
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  9. Xara

    Xara Peer Supporter

    Adults? Really? I thought that this constant worry will stop when my toddler becomes adult... :woot:
     
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