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Hope-for those that take a long time to heal

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by HattieNC, Apr 9, 2018.

  1. HattieNC

    HattieNC Well known member

    Since I visit the TMS Wiki during my lunch break at work, I'm not able to post very often. But, recently I've been seeing more folks becoming increasingly desperate because of the long time it's taking them to heal. Even those that are fully committed to the belief and practice of TMS. I am one of those slow healers myself, so I'd like to give hope to those that are hanging by a thread. I've been there. Many times. You can read the details in "My Story."

    Even after my most severe symptoms had slowly abated over a 12 month period of using TMS techniques, I was still experiencing excruciating back spasms from the bottom of my left rib cage up into my shoulder. It felt like I had an alien inside my shoulder blade trying to chew it's way out. As the pain worsened, my belief in TMS began to waver and I went back to endless Googling of symptoms, and consulted (yet another) clueless Osteopath. My brain just wouldn't let go of the notion that this pain was "different." This time, it HAD to be structural. I was still coming to the Wiki and reading books on TMS, so I had one foot in TMS belief, and one foot in denial. One day, I read a thread on the Wiki about suffering and how it was okay to take a small amount of medication to get you through the desperate times. I'm not sure why this resonated so profoundly with me, but it did. I guess I needed permission. That evening, I took a very small dose of an anxiety medication that had been prescribed to me after my mother died. Almost immediately, my muscles began to relax. About one week later, the spasms stopped. With the excruciating pain alleviated, my brain began to settle down and I could actually think and develop a TMS battle plan to get rid of the remaining pain that was fiercely holding on, and also to prevent it from moving to another location.

    I know many of you are like me and you want specifics about TMS healing techniques, so I'm including my personal list below. Your list will not look like mine, but I hope you'll find some of these helpful.

    Number 1: Self-care and morning routine
    I received permission from my supervisor to work from home the first two hours of the morning. This allows me to ease into the day rather than rushing around and getting stressed first thing in the morning. I can't tell you how many mornings I used to drive to work crying from pain and despair.

    Morning routine-
    As soon as I wake up, I listen to 15 to 30 minutes of an audio about Mindbody Syndrome with a refreshing cold washcloth placed over my eyes. Sometimes, I listen to our beloved Dr. Sarno, but there are many other experts to choose from. After that, I visualize the lit up pain circuits in my brain being extinguished, or I sometimes meditate/pray. After a warm shower, I lovingly attend to my skin and hair (lotions, oils, and makeup). At one point during my illness, my hair fell out and my self-esteem plummeted, so this is an especially sweet time of nourishing my girly side. Lastly, I stop by McDonald's for coffee. Even if I'm running late for work, I stop. This is my special daily treat!

    From the age of 19, I have been a caregiver. Always putting others first. I felt trapped and victimized. This fueled the flames of chronic pain by filling me with a rage that I didn't know existed until I found out about TMS. Self-care has been vital in my recovery. Read the threads by Plum. She is the self-care expert on the Wiki and has helped me so much. Thank you, Plum!!!!

    Number 2: Keep learning about TMS
    Even if you think you know everything there is to know. Awareness and acceptance of Mindbody Syndrome is growing at a rapid pace. Not only is it fascinating to learn more about the brain and chronic pain, you have evidence for times when your belief falters, or you want to share your knowledge with others.

    Number 3: Don't catastrophize, Google, or obsess about the pain. Believe me, I know how hard this is. Distract your brain any way that works for you. Listening to music is a great distraction for me. Even when I couldn't dance or sing, I could listen. Know your triggers. Driving home from work is a trigger, so I sing to the top of my lungs as a distraction.

    Number 4: Don't suffer beyond what you can tolerate. If you need an Advil (or something stronger) take it and don't feel guilty. When I take something, I tell myself that I know I have TMS and this is a placebo. I was able to stop taking Ambien cold turkey by telling my brain that the tiny amount of anxiety medication I take at bedtime makes me sleepy. I'm sleeping better than I have in a decade.

    Number 5: Do something slightly naughty every day. I'm a goodist. I was raised in a religion that held the threat of hell over my head every waking minute. Even though I no longer hold this belief system, I have to intentionally fight the desire to be perfect.

    Number 6: Don't hold in the anger. I yell at my husband in my head, scream in the car (where no one can hear me), and occasionally curse. I rage, but then I let it go.

    Number 7: Feel and acknowledge emotions. Sometimes I journal, sometimes I just speak my emotions aloud. Cry, even if my eyes will be puffy the next day. That's what concealer is for.

    Number 8: Laugh as often as possible and don't watch the news. I used to be a news junkie. I found out the world survives just fine without my worry and vigilance.

    Two years ago, I couldn't buy groceries, ride in a car, or even lift my leg over a curb in the parking lot. Last weekend, I drove two hours to play an afternoon of mini-golf with my grandchildren, went on a short hike, and climbed the steps at church. No, I wasn't 100% pain free, but I was okay with that. I felt at peace and I didn't obsess about it. You can do this! Feel free to private message me. Life is more beautiful and precious than it's ever been. It can be for you too.
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2018
    fridaynotes, Aimee88, TG957 and 23 others like this.
  2. karinabrown

    karinabrown Well known member


    I just love the fact that you took the time to give others a positive note
    Thank you !!!!!!!

    plum likes this.
  3. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle


    This is such a totally gorgeous gift to the forum that I have bookmarked it. I'm tickled pink that I have been helpful to you and have to say all I have learned comes from being a slow healer myself. I guess the way we are both caregivers lends us a particularly deep perspective into the nature and importance of self care. I especially love your morning routine which I really relate to because morning is typically the time my caring commitments can derail me on a personal level. Those nurturing rituals make the world of difference.

    All your suggestions are wonderful and are things I heartily endorse. This is a great thread for anyone who is struggling and bless you for taking the time to craft it.

    Much love,

    Plum x
    TrustIt, Bodhigirl, Time2be and 2 others like this.
  4. Homestead Hermit

    Homestead Hermit Peer Supporter

    Thank you SO MUCH for sharing :)

    What I resonated with most was you do what YOU need to do by working from home the first 2 hours in order to take care of yourself. I also HATE rushing into the day, don't even want to talk or converse before I'm ready (my hubby, who is a total morning person, now knows if I don't reply to him not to be offended...I'm just not ready to talk yet and I'll talk as soon as the time is right for me). Even though I'm a homemaker and have the ability to maintain my own schedule, I still feel guilty when I take the time in the morning to do what I need to do to ease into the day (which include TMS work). *sigh* it's an ongoing process of practice, but very worth it.
    TrustIt and Bodhigirl like this.
  5. HattieNC

    HattieNC Well known member

    Homestead Hermit -before the pain started, I was a morning person too. I jumped out of bed ready to take on the world. I denied myself any "me time" so that others could have the pieces of me I thought they deserved. Even though the pain has subsided, I'm still working from home a few hours each day. If my employer decides it's no longer necessary, I will go toe to toe with them on this one. Self-care is my number one priority right now and I don't feel guilty at all. Workplace stress/rage contributed greatly to my physical breakdown, and I'm not going down that route again. Take care!
    Homestead Hermit and plum like this.
  6. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    This is a great list, thank you!
    Another point that works very well for me is:
    - drastically cutting the carbs from my diet. I eat almost no carbs, not even fruits. It was really difficult to make this change in the diet but today I celebrate 4 weeks without carbs. It's possible...if I could do it, (I'm a former lacto-ovo-vegetarian - for 11 years) anyone can do it. I just wanted to try and see if my health improves with this diet and it does! My back pain is much more manageable but the most important thing is that my sleep is great now! It's amazing. I used to have problems sleeping for 8 hours/night because of the back pain. I even had to be on medication for sleep (medication that has bad side effects).

    So who wants to try this diet, I say...give it a go for a few weeks and see if you see any improvements.

    All the best!
    HattieNC likes this.
  7. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    So wonderful! I should consider no. 5 (doing something slightly naughty). :happy:
  8. BloodMoon

    BloodMoon Beloved Grand Eagle

    I especially like number 8 :). I've just started not watching or listening to the news. I used to listen to or watch the news twice a day whilst eating my lunch and my evening meal; now, instead I just eat my food paying 'mindful' attention to the process of eating it. So that I'm not completely ignorant of world and local events, I do just briefly look at the headlines on the BBC news website in the mornings, but then I go about my day without hearing anything about what's going on in the wider world...And I'm starting to feel better for it. I remember hearing a mental health expert being interviewed on the radio a few years ago who reckoned that we suffer far more stress because we hear of all sorts of terrible things going on world wide what with 24 hour news, whereas our ancestors mainly only heard about and concerned themselves with events - good or bad - closer to home in their villages and small communities.
    TrustIt and HattieNC like this.
  9. healingfromchronicpain

    healingfromchronicpain Well known member

    #5 is my favorite!!! I actually think I do a pretty good job at most or many of the others, but being slightly naughty each day will be a challenge—but I think very good for me! It’s so against my nature!! (Which is why it’ll be good) :)

    Thanks for the great list!
    HattieNC likes this.
  10. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    I started following number 8 too. Since January first I was done with watching the news. Or listening to them. I feel so much better...
    BloodMoon likes this.
  11. TrustIt

    TrustIt Well known member

    Wonder if you are talking about the Carnivore Diet? I am combining this with TMS work. This resolved my digestive issues in 2 days!. Sometimes it's not ALL TMS as many here have said. Whatever it takes to get well!
    BloodMoon likes this.
  12. Sita

    Sita Well known member


    Yes, not all is TMS, I agree.
  13. Aimee88

    Aimee88 Well known member

    I'm so glad this discussion was brought up again. I found it today, and along with some other posts I have been reading, it has really encouraged me. I have a success story here in this forum, *and* recently, I'm having some really strong pain again. I'm back to the books, I'm not giving in or giving up, and I'm glad I'm back here tonight to read and take encouragement from the wisdom and sharing here. I know what it is, thankfully, but I must say I'm not enjoying it! Thank you, all.
    HattieNC likes this.

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