Help me understand something

"In regards to rest, I was really hoping not to miss my favorite race again this year like I had to do last year due to symptoms and I've been trying to train for it, but I guess part of acceptance will be giving that up."

How about: "I need some rest, but that doesn't mean I have to stop moving, nor does it mean I totally have to stop training. I can train my mind, I can train other parts of my body. I can decide to run the race when the time comes, or I can decide to wait until next year. Whatever I need. I'll listen to my body. I might be disappointed for this year, but there is always next year. I can't wait to get back to running for the joy if it."

Because once again, you are not "GIVING UP". Girl, you've got a mantra that is hammered into that head (said with a smile)!

Acceptance: That some things are hard right now, that your body needs you more than you need your habits, your fall-backs, and your old ways right now. Accepting that those things are not working for you, EVEN IF you don't like that. EVEN IF you feel more anxiety around it. Just let yourself feel that anxiety instead of running away from it.

 

I can't pretend that missing it two years in a row is okay with me. But I'll work on it.

 

You don’t have to like the situation, you just need to stop torturing yourself about it. It isn’t your fault. It just is.
It seems to be very hard for you to perceive how hard you are on you.

 

Yes. And most nerve damage causes NUMBNESS not pain. My Friend who severed his spinal cord was paralyzed, not in pain.
When My thumb Got severed in 2013 I Initially couldn't feel ANYTHING....then the feeling slowly came back. Today, 12 years later, I still have one very teeny spot in the middle of the thumb that has no feeling.
I just stuck a Pencil tip into it...I can feel pressure, but no sensitivity. It distracts me exactly .0001% of the time. I sometimes have burned it with friction when I am sanding walls,. other than that...nothing.
Having suffered numerous accidents in a riotous life, I can assure you the one thing that distinguishes TMS is: it is the most painful thing that can happen to you.
fallen into a pool
Fallen from a building (Broken spinal vertebrae)
Severed my Thumb
Hit By Fastballs at 80mph +
Head through a windshield in a car accident
and numerous ass whooping's of various degrees

Talking about the physical part as Sarno said, is counterproductive...pointless and academic. The Underlying Rage is what is most important. When it is too scary or too repressed the sufferer will continue to seek a physical remedy

 

I know, Baseball, and I know we have talked about this. Just not an easy thing for me. I'm working on it.

I am making a couple of changes today that I have tried before but I'm hoping to stick with this time, at least as far as how I'm handling things. I'm staying off the scale and not tracking my food, I mostly eat the same things anyway. I am going to attempt my workout run today to see if I can approach it with a different mindset.

 

You guys. I did it. I did my hill workout and got a little over 5 miles out of it. I hurt but I'm grinning. Didn't even check how many calories I burned.