We can be grateful and do things for other people, not that the goodist isn't a plus for your personality. Its who you are so hold onto that love feeling, it has your energy there. I remember I just didn't know how to say no , it takes breaking the habit by first doing it for once, then saying no again and again on purpose. I know easier said than done. Till you break the guilty feeling that always sinks in after you say no, in other words we've made a habit of saying yes with an emotion attacked to it. Keep all your promises, just don't make promises that you know you shouldnt . How to break the old habit? I said I wasn't going to do something's a thousand times. id usually pay the price by getting mad at myself. This sentence again was my repression at the time. I didn't know it cause I love to give but theres a difference in being took advantage of ya know. Then I learned easier styles to control the habit and turn the condition around. Its in our nature to be goodist and going against this grain was one of the hardest things I had to do I loved to give, still do and always will give. In family situations it was always hard not to give too much, that's the jig ... we cant see ourselves saying no. If ya want to know where most your repressions are, Go to a family reunion. This was one of my repression thoughts... it also made me a good friend to people, so help, help , help. Giving now that I learned how to give of my time is a special energy from all around me. In the past I thought it was ok to kick myself when I made subconscious mistakes because I was programmed with habit....this was a repression. I cant hold a grudge cause that's repression and if I let it out I have to sooth with meditation and now this is cool cause I meditate daily but the rage can get so strong that at times the meditation might not help. I know theres hope there cause I do it , meditation; but sometimes things get to hard and over whelming if the meditation isn't done daily, which often as humans we might skip a day or two of any soothing experience. I think we can benefit from mindfulness and other styles of meditation. We need be grateful and do things for other people, again that's where our energy lies. Want to know whats bothering you and you don't know? Go give something away to someone who really needs it, youll feel that loving feeling, but sometimes we give into the bad part of the goodist side. Just didn't know how to say no, till you break the guilty feeling that always sinks in after you say no, in other words weve made a habit of saying yes and now we have to make a new habit to break the old habit. Its the only way I really know. Id wondered how and said I wasn't going to do it a thousand times. Then id give in and pay the price for it by getting mad at myself....this sentence again was my repression at the time. I didn't know it cause I love give....then I learned easier styles to control the habit and turn the condition around. I had to learn to quit thinking the walls were going to fall down if I said no and others were going to hate me for it but I had help from my faith, some neuro linguistic programming, and TMS healing. I really started to feel a lot better about this new found power to say no. Now go and on purpose just say no about favors about ten or twenty times in a month or two and youll get the hang of it, but only to the situations you feel a burning need to say no to, hope this helps. This is not about hurting others, its about not hurting yourself any longer. What is good is after you just do it on purpose a dozen times , youll start to feel better about yourself for standing up to yourself and others. Then when you give youll be more truly grateful and feel stronger with new energy to say Yes to life. Each repression we break brings us closer to healing.