1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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New Program Day 4: Breaking the Pain Cycle

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Alan Gordon LCSW, Jul 14, 2017.

  1. Kerrj74

    Kerrj74 Well known member

    ***Question.... how do you ignore the pain when it hurts so bad 24/7?
    I am convinced I have TMS (my full story at the thread below), but I can't get past the pain enough to be positive or to stop giving it constant attention. That is my biggest struggle in this whole process. Ideas?

    My story: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/25-years-chronic-pain-anxiety-fusion-tms-low-back-pain-again-after-20-years-pain-free.15862/ (***25 Years Chronic pain, anxiety, fusion, TMS. Low back pain again after 20 years pain-free!)
  2. 2scoops

    2scoops New Member

    I'd be curious to hear what those 22 symptoms were.
  3. Miss Metta

    Miss Metta Peer Supporter

    Thank you. I feel so much better. I thought I was the only person who feels like a life failure and like they should never have existed. Now I feel less weird for feeling that way. Thanks.
    caligirlgonegreen likes this.
  4. Alan Gordon LCSW

    Alan Gordon LCSW TMS Therapist

    Kerr, the goal is not to ignore the pain, that isn't really possible. The goal is to get to a place where you can attend to the pain free of fear, because you know it's not dangerous.

    When the pain is particularly bad, it's not even possible to do that. So in those cases, the goal is to soothe yourself as best you can, both cognitively and physiologically, telling yourself that this particularly rough state is temporary.

    I'll be going over techniques on how to do that over the next week or two.
  5. Kerrj74

    Kerrj74 Well known member

    Thank you Alan! I have been telling myself for the past 8 months that there is nothing to fear, that this will pass, that nothing is physically wrong, but the constant nagging pain is just impossible to move past. Even when I have good moments (rare), they quickly fade away and the pain is front and center consuming my every waking minute. Thank you for doing what you are doing. It gives people like me hope when we are running out of hope.
    Kozas, jen s, adria and 2 others like this.
  6. gaby1511

    gaby1511 Peer Supporter


    With some pains i can break de pain cicle, like my back pain, my anxiety, knee pain. But with my pelvic pain i can´t is more difficult. Why happen that?? Cristie have the same, 1 pain more difficult to go at the end.
    Kerrj74 likes this.
  7. nele

    nele Peer Supporter

    @ Lily Rose - Thank you very much for your post! I also spent some years with my IBS - additional to my back pain and neck pain. I also am vegetarian and tried a lot of different food. Sometimes it helped a bit to eat very light meals (boiled vegetables, sorghum, rice, bananas. ....) - and these little achievements made me fear other food. This fear is very real against all my rationality.

    Back pain and neck pain I could grasp as TMS and I could heal them with Dr. Sarnos books. But IBS - I was convinced - has a structural cause though my family doctor did all the checks and nothing was found. He told me, my IBS is 90% psychologically based. - I partially believed him, however what are the remaining 10%?
    Then I came across Alans TMS Recovery Program. I made my evidence sheet, e.g. the evidence: spending 3 days with my sisters - eating all - without any symptoms. Later I translated Alans TMS Recovery Program into German for some friends. Imagine, the process of translation made me feel better!
    So right now I am (almost) convinced my IBS is TMS. The symptoms sometimes are more painful, sometimes less. I see the relation to fears and stressful situations in my live.

    Alans New Program gives me a fresh push, makes me very hopeful. His explanations are very convincing for me!
    Lily Rose likes this.
  8. Un0wut2du

    Un0wut2du Peer Supporter

    So what did you find?
  9. fbcoach

    fbcoach Peer Supporter

    Hi Nele.
    I felt the urge to respond to your post due to the similar symptoms and reactions. Last year I was on the verge of getting so much better, then I was overcome with major stress due to some things happening to my 20yr old son. I won't go into details, but it became overwhelmimg, then Football season started. This was good (I love Coaching and it is a distraction from myself) and it is very stressful (I've been the Head Coach of a very successful Team/School for the past 24years). I don't say that to brag, but to explain the amount of stress I place on myself of my own doing. Anyway, I ended up with my Dr prescribing a low dose anti-anxiety pill that got me thru the season. As the returning State Champions, I had a lot of pressure, but we made it all the way to the Finals after losing 6 Starters over the season. We played a great game and very exciting game, losing by 2pts in the last 5 seconds. I was very proud of our kids overcoming adversity and very relieved the season was over. I weened off the anti-anxiety during the holidays and retired after 32yrs of Teaching and Coaching in January. During this time, I started becoming much more active by continuing my heavy Weight Workouts (Deadlifting, Benching, Rows, OHPs, etc,) and running and Dancing 3-4 hours almost nonstop 4-5 nights a week with my wife. This is after breaking my neck 0ver 20 years ago (14 hour surgery) and 4 more years ago. Long story short, I have shared Dr Sarno's presciptions with many people that have had back surgeries over the past several months, but lately I have had more neck/back pain and bowel issues. I am trying to remember the things I did that helped me so much last time. Any suggestions would be appreiciated. Sorry this was so long. Now, off to a heavy Bench, Deadlift, and curls workout. Thank you for any suggestions!!
    nele likes this.
  10. nele

    nele Peer Supporter

    Hi fbcoach, I understand you completely. It looks as you are a very active person. May be you took a bit to much on your shoulders? I am retired too, for 2 years. I know, how good it feels to do a lot of sport, I am running and cycling, doing yoga. Nevertheless I need breakes. I apply meditation. It makes me calm, at least some time.
    My back pain and neck pain are currently low. Mostly I ignore them. Though my IBS is persistent and annoying. I am trying to apply this new program. There is a very good response of Alan to kerrJ74 above (I put it on a board)

    Kerr, the goal is not to ignore the pain, that isn't really possible. The goal is to get to a place where you can attend to the pain free of fear, because you know it's not dangerous.
    When the pain is particularly bad, it's not even possible to do that. So in those cases, the goal is to soothe yourself as best you can, both cognitively and physiologically, telling yourself that this particularly rough state is temporary.
    Kerrj74 likes this.
  11. fbcoach

    fbcoach Peer Supporter

    Thank you for the reply Nele. Great advice! Some of the info (from the books, forum, etc.) get confusing. I have done well with overcoming some of the fear of activity by really pushing myself thru workouts and activities, but I still need to overcome the fear of the days after working out. I seem to be able to overcome this, until the stomach issues start. When that happens, I notice my confidence wanes somewhat. I don't seem to have the energy to keep pushing forward. I realize this is just a perception (like all TMS symptoms), and I am working on this. I appreciate the great advice of soothing yourself. Is there anything specific you do to help with the stomach/bowel issues? Again, thank you for your quick reply!

    I see another poster answered this already. Again, thank you so much for your time!
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
    nele likes this.
  12. gaby1511

    gaby1511 Peer Supporter

    can i do the same with anxiety? i feel a hot sensation in my chest horrible, i dont feel safe. can i apply the same program??? sorry my english
  13. Alan Gordon LCSW

    Alan Gordon LCSW TMS Therapist

    Hi Gaby, yes. Anxiety is another danger signal, and applying these techniques will be just as effective for anxiety as for pain.
    Tala, caligirlgonegreen and gaby1511 like this.
  14. gaby1511

    gaby1511 Peer Supporter

    Alan thanks! i feel my back pain and pelvic pain 1 /10 i never feel so great. butttt anxiety with the hot sensations is with me. this last days i feel many sensations i never feel.before¿. this can be because i dont have fear to.my pain anymore. ? is a good signal?

    love your new program. this make a lot sense to me.
  15. Freedom

    Freedom Peer Supporter

    One thing I don't fully understand is, if TMS causes a tight contraction in your muscles, and you use your muscles while they are in that state it seems more likely you are to pull them more, in which case you will need to rest. Are we not to be afraid even in these cases? Is there a cutoff point where you can not be afraid vs slowing down? It's confusing to me because if the pain is not high I can tell myself "I don't need the pain to guard me from my emotions" and I will resume normal movement and the pain will sometimes go away. But when it's worse I'm afraid of pulling something, which I have done many times while I've been aware of TMS.
  16. caligirlgonegreen

    caligirlgonegreen New Member

    I wake almost every morning the same. I have to believe that will shift as so many things have in this process. And to answer your question "will anyone ever love somebody with pelvic pain?" The answer is a huge YES. I've seen it firsthand. I myself have felt so unlovable because of my pain. But I think the core belief is that I just felt unlovable period. Working on that.
  17. caligirlgonegreen

    caligirlgonegreen New Member

    So many things you posted resonated with me it's hard to know where the begin. But I'll start with "My relationship with the pain was more one of dread, intolerance, non-acceptance, resistance, and feeling victimized by it." This is so where I'm at! And the fact I am finally going about re-training my mind in the same way you described above and that it was successful for you gives me hope! It just feels right.
    Ellen likes this.
  18. caligirlgonegreen

    caligirlgonegreen New Member

    I'm the same way with less or no pain in the moment. When I'm doing something I love vs. say chores or having a negative thought day my pain level is COMPLETELY different or non-existent. It make no sense I can swim, do yoga, hike, have sex, dance etc but doing dishes or sitting hurts. I always have pain before or after enjoyable activities and during what I perceive as non-enjoyable, even when they are far less rigorous. It's such bullshit. Keep living in the moment! Thanks for your great shares.
    MentorCoach likes this.
  19. caligirlgonegreen

    caligirlgonegreen New Member

    Now I Just Rest. Whether I need to or not. I'm getting there. I was always taught you are measured as a person by what you "do" all day. So what am I if I can't "do" anything? Well nothing of course! I'm over that concept finally. It still rears it's ugly head now and then but man it feels good to just "do" nothing sometimes!
  20. UnknownStuntman

    UnknownStuntman Peer Supporter

    I feel like I wasted 20 years because of TMS. This is encouraging to just live and take my body and the symptoms with me:


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