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New Program Day 20: Embracing Joy

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Alan Gordon LCSW, Aug 2, 2017.

  1. Penny2007

    Penny2007 formerly Pain2007

    Last edited: Aug 3, 2017
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  2. UnknownStuntman

    UnknownStuntman Peer Supporter

    If we change our body posture for 30-120 seconds it increases testosterone and therefore the feeling of being safe. It works for me very well in conflicts with other people. I just straighten my back, feel my feet on the floor and feel stronger within seconds. I think it could also work well with anxiety, fear and pressure we put on ourselves.

    Also, for men it's very important not to ähm....you know..... It screws up dopamine and testosterone. After stopping it takes 3-6 months for them to normalize:

    I also take a cold shower every morning. It has many benefits. Including training myself to do something uncomfortable. Just google benefits of cold showers.
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2017
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  3. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    That girl is so amazing. She is most definitely an inspiration to as all. Thanks for sharing that!
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 8, 2017
  4. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

  5. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Loved this. We make stuff up. I always remind myself I am not living in Afghanistan. Not living in Syria. There is so much to be grateful for!
  6. Eugene

    Eugene Well known member

    Just stumbled across this. Was it by chance or some kind of cosmic synchronicity?

    This is a message that is relevant to all TMS'ers I think, but particularly us men. For me it echoes so much of what Dr Sarno said, and Alan too.

    And that last line says it all.

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  7. Cat Lady 13

    Cat Lady 13 New Member

    As I have been going through this program I have found myself smiling at people (random strangers) as I go through my day. At the grocery store, gas station. I am feeling happier and experiencing days with minimal pain.

    Just a few days ago I was standing at the copier/printer for a long time working on a project. Suddenly I realized that for the last 2 years of this same yearly project I had to use my office chair and scoot back and forth because I could not stand without pain. I also went shopping with a friend and was amazed that I didn't have much pain and was really having fun.

    It all proves to me that this crap I have been dealing with for 4 years is TMS and I have the power to make it go away. No drugs. No surgery. No chiro or PT. Just my brain is needed to reroute those neural pathways. I know there will be setbacks but I am still happy that I can fix it myself.
  8. karinabrown

    karinabrown Well known member

    Hi all,

    What a great program this is.
    Maybe today i practiced my own 'looking for joy in combination with 'outcome Indepenence ':
    A beautifull sunny day here : i had one of my bad foot days : i thought : never mind my foot : i am going for walk !
    And i did in the sun, near the water, waved at passing boats, said Hi to my neibor with his dog. My foot did hurt a bit : but i told him (or her ) Yes foot you hurt but you know what : there are other parts of me that needs attension today : my legs need to move and my spirit needs to enjoy the sun and outdoors! And i did enjoy it, outcome independence at work.
    It was a walk i had joy about the rest of that day. Jiha !!
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  9. JoeB1

    JoeB1 Peer Supporter

    Immediately felt joy upon smiling with eyes and breathing in/smiling!
    Alan Gordon LCSW and karinabrown like this.
  10. Denise84

    Denise84 New Member

    Hi Alan and all you wonderful TMS'ers. I've been going through this program for the last couple weeks and finding it helpful. Of course being a logical minded perfectionist, at times there are concepts I struggle with, like today's. I too am a firm believer in joy and that it is a choice we make. I guess my question is this- is "choosing joy" ever making a choice to maybe ignore our feelings of anxiety, anger, fear, etc.? My understanding is that we want to allow ourselves to feel these emotions and check in with them. I want to make sure I'm not dismissing them and saying "Ok now suddenly smile and be happy!" Any clarification would be helpful, thank you all!

  11. Alan Gordon LCSW

    Alan Gordon LCSW TMS Therapist

    You can't really force yourself to feel joy, but if you attend to your internal state, you can certainly embrace it when it comes along. Pretending to be happy is just another form of resistance, but when joy arises organically, you can let yourself lean into it.
    Bodhigirl, JoeB1, shmps and 2 others like this.
  12. suky

    suky Peer Supporter

    This is my second time through this amazing course. I loved it the first time and began to practice some wonderful new tools, especially somatic tracking. But I found myself wanting more. Somewhere I read that it is a good idea to go through the whole course again, this time reading the comments. Bingo! It is sinking in.

    Alan’s post today really resonated with me! I have read the Sarno books and have done Nancy Selfridge’s course for people dealing with fibromyalgia. I have learned a great deal about myself — how I respond to pain; emotions stuck where I didn’t want to deal with them; and what I need to do to begin to heal. But I’ve been working so hard at feeling better that I’ve been overwhelmed by struggle, resistance and disappointment. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I first learned about the Sarno approach and read the first book, realizing that my fibromyalgia symptoms are TMS. I have had TMS difficulties for over 30 years, so I know that it will take some time to unlearn my pain and responses to life! But this course and especially this lesson on finding joy are so important!

    Thank you, Alan, I have found my enthusiasm once again! I’m excited to continue to practice replacing my fear with joy! Thank you all for your insightful comments. Is anyone else doing this course currently?
    Rainstorm B and Bodhigirl like this.
  13. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    I'm revisiting pages whenever new posts appear. It's magical in that I get a notice in my email inbox telling me someone has contributed... and I visit for the sheer joy of distracting myself from whatever else I was doing.
    Seeing the baby laugh, smile and conk out brings me joy.
    I have struggled most of my life with being stuck inside a body that I didn't choose. It's not gender dysmophia, it is more like I would have been better off as a horse or a dog. Even when I was very small, I would ask myself, "How did I wind up inside this human being body?" I often felt sort of alien. Thus, I struggled with every single uncomfortable feeling I had.
    I think, as I am in the final third of my life, that I am coming into awareness and acceptance. I can sense the rewiring of my brain, the progress I have made after all these years of trying to make peace with my existence.
    The mantra: I choose ease, I seek peace, I find joy has come easily to me this past year. I was never big on affirmations, they felt inauthentic. Still, I am embracing this one and it gets easier and easier.
    Miracle: my retired horse kicked me right about my kneecap two days ago. After hollering and falling over sideways, I found arnica cream in my tackbox and smeared it on and told myself that I would be fine. I am. Years ago, before TMS recovery, I would have turned this into xrays and doctor visits, ice packs and advil. My story HAS changed and I have you amazing fellow travelers to thank for this.
    So thank you.
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  14. suky

    suky Peer Supporter

    What a wonderful idea to revisit pages when there is a new post, Bodhigirl! It’s kind of like a game and a way to not have to feel that the course is over! I’m a bit technically challenged. Could you tell me how to receive notices that there is a new post?

    Your attitude toward affiirmations is like mine. But I love your mantra: I choose ease, I seek peace, I find joy!

    Thanks so much for responding to my post. It was my first. I feel a bit less alone on this journey every day! What a blessing that is! Thank you for sharing your story, your struggles and your successes. There are many reasons for hope — and joy!
  15. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Here is a screenshot. Go to personal preferences. Then it alerts. Check what you want. Experiment. Stay connected and consistent, is my motto.

    Attached Files:

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  16. Northwood

    Northwood Well known member

    I keep cycling through this Pain Recovery Program. The information is dense and has made sense to me on different levels each time I go through it. And each time through different insights impress me in different ways--new and instructive ways. This morning, it's this comment by Plum. You collect an incidental win on the way to some higher goal you've set for yourself, similar to the way that by changing behavior--going to really different places, etc.--we incidentally bring new people into our lives and so have new relationships and experiences that wouldn't have had otherwise. Plum's comment is a nice way to think about taking the focus off of the grim determination to Get Rid of It and instead focus on what is light and joyful in life, what you can find to celebrate--whatever that might be. Here is a way to grasp without using your hands. There is a lot of paradox in this program, which seems right to me--frustrating at times--but right all the way down to the deepest levels.
    BloodMoon and birdsetfree like this.
  17. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    I just reread a lot of these posts. Joy always resonates with me. I would so love to see you dance to Zeppelin's Kashmir, Plum. Dancing always brings me joy.
    In these challenging days of quarantine, I think of the saying "Joy is where you find it." I've been spending a lot of time in my studio, delighting in colors, textures, and techniques, but I see joy in so many things! Today it's the amaryllis in bloom outside my window, the new order someone placed for my greeting cards, and the simple pleasure of cuddling with a cat.
    May you be surrounded by joy!
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  18. BloodMoon

    BloodMoon Beloved Grand Eagle

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  19. Cap'n Spanky

    Cap'n Spanky Well known member

    So many great posts here! I've working Alan's excellent and brilliant program. In addition, I've been doing meditations.

    If anyone is interested in meditation and is looking for help in cultivating joy, there are some very good meditations on joy here. (You'll have to search through the list)
    Weekly Podcast at the Hammer - UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center - Los Angeles, CA (uclahealth.org)

    I just did this one and it was a profound experience.

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