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Best affirmations to overcome fear

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by filipe, Oct 1, 2016.

  1. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    Hi,

    I always had a latent fear inside me. When I wake up in the morning I'm always fearful of the unknown, and what might come. As a child I had problems sleeping because of fear... Fear is my worst enemy...

    Fear was what made me in chronic pain for all these years. I was cured, but now I'm having a relapse, because my fear has always been here. Because I never invested on getting it of my mind... I was always lazy to solve my most inner problems...

    I know that affirmations work (they worked in the pat), so I'm looking for some good affirmation on overcoming fear, or an audio CD that I can buy, or a book, that worked for you guys. I want to do these affirmations everyday from now on....

    By the way should I say my affirmations in english, or in Portuguese (my native language)?

    Thanks :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2016
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  2. Mrs Dependable

    Mrs Dependable Peer Supporter

    This sounds very debilitating for you filipe, have you tried professional counselling? Also Wayne Dyer is a rather a hero of mine. He has a book called "your erroneous zones". It's uploaded on YouTube so you can listen for free. He talks a lot about fear and anxiety, discusses ways to overcome it. Also Eckhart Tolle? His book "the power of now" is life changing and again he discusses fear, depression and anxiety in depth. Think this is also uploaded on YouTube so you can listen at your leisure. Also "the game of life and how to play it" by florence scovel shinn. Not everyone's cup of tea but I love it and again some kind people have uploaded it on YouTube. So three books all for free and for me (aside from dr sarno) completely life changing. All the best and happy listening.
     
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  3. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    Thanks for replying... :)

    I also found this great book:

    What to Say When You Talk to Your Self [ Yourself ] by Shad Helmstetter

    I start doing affirmations regulary today and it's working...

    I found this video on youtube today and i like it. It made me feel more confident. (maybe is a little bit strong. I don't want to turn into a fighting machine ;):

     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2016
  4. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    [Deleted at BeWell's request]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2016
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  5. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

  6. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

  7. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    Thanks guys
    I can control thought that make me fear, but how can I control other stimulus? Like weather, or images.... my chronic pain stated with stuffy weather, so everytime I have a relapse, it is normaly with this kind of weather.... I fear life itself, the future, etc... Now I fear having fear :(. When I'm sleeping my fear seems out of control :(
     
  8. Mrs Dependable

    Mrs Dependable Peer Supporter

    Listen to eckhart tolle talking as you're dropping off, it's as if he's holding your hand.
     
    filipe likes this.
  9. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    [Deleted at BeWell's request]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2016
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  10. balto

    balto Beloved Grand Eagle

    to me tms fear is a conditioning respond, a learned behavior. All babies were born with only 2 fears, fear of abandonment and fear of the feeling of falling. All other fear feeling were learned and conditioned later in life. And like most feeling, the more we focus on it the more it intensify. Positive affirmation alone sometime is not enough and it usually not long lasting. We have to consciously com to a conclusion that fear is useless when it come to tms. There is nothing to fear about tms. And in addition to Positive affirmation, we also have to keep our five senses (our sight, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching) away from the negative and expose them to as much positive stuffs as we can. Look at the beauty of nature around us, listen to beautiful music, smell the wonderful rose, taste some great food, feel the hug from someone we love.... But most important of all, keep our mind in the positive territory as much as we can. Stay away from negative people. Don't watch News on TV, don't read negative, depressing post on this forum. Seek out positive people, read happy news and watch funny movies, spend time with wonderful people and have meaningful conversations. Also, pay attention at how we look and act. Look in the mirror every morning, make a confident face and smile and say today will be a great day. Keep that face on you for as long as possible. Positive affirmation will not work if we keep saying "I feel great..." while our face look like we just leave a funeral. Keep your shoulder straight, walk with confident. The feeling will follow the action.
    With persistent we will one day take back control of our mind and body. We have tms because we lost control. We let our feeling become automatic reaction to what is going on in our life. We got to take back control and be master of our feeling and heal.
     
    brendan537, filipe, Lavender and 2 others like this.
  11. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    Thanks Balto, I really miss you from the TMSHELP forum :). You really think the same way that I think... You have been a great friend, with your inspiring thoughts :)

    I post another thread. It is more or less the same... can you also comment it? Although I think you already did... but you know, repetiotion is the key.... Here is my post:

    "Hi,

    I'm doing some affirmations to avoid relapses in my TMS chronic pain problem. Unfotunately it seem to do me worst? Why? Because it reminds me bad times, when I was in pain... back than I tryed everything, than I noticed that focusing on other stuff was the solution...

    I think affirmations are great, and sometimes, when I don't make associations with my pain, they make me feel so good... but often I associate them to my chronic pain problem of the past... I cured my self from chronic pain, because I shift my attention from pain... But I had a relapse some weeks ago, due to stress, and now, that I'm already better, I'm trying everything to avoid relapses in the future... I try to reprogram my brain... What do you think I'm doing wrong? Can you break these associations? I really need to change my way of thinking, to be stronger in the future... every stressful event makes me really bad, I go from paradise to hell in a second...

    Thanks :)
    "
     
  12. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Go to the curestress.com
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2016
  13. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    Mala, or anyone :), can one find inner peace without being dependent on others?

    I mean, when you get older, life tends to be less exciting, and also friends follow their one paths. Friends split. I mean, I feel kind of lonely :( Can one still be at peace? If you don't have people to cheer you up, what should one do?

    Being alone and with nothing exciting that help me changing my focus results in feeling pain... TMS is anxiety... anxiety of feeling lonely, depressed, obsolete :(. We know how things are. Young people don't care about older people nowadays. And sometimes I get bored and stressed out from trying to find new friends, and exciting stuff to do... I fear boredom...

    My happiness was always dependent on others, and what they think about me, and about what I create..

    Sorry for this negative speach, but what I want to know is something like this: can be happy even if you lived on the moon... Thanks

    PS: can anyone advised me on a great book with exercices so one can manage to be happy alone, ate peace with ourselves? .
     
  14. balto

    balto Beloved Grand Eagle

    It is dangerous to depend on anyone for your happiness Filipe. You putting yourself at the mercy of others. You let other people decide if you should be happy or lonely and depress. Tms/anxiety, loneliness, depression are all disease of the mind. We lost control of our mind. We let it wandering aimlessly waiting for others to lead it . It is a conditioned mind. It is a learned habit. We let society, people around us, and our environment dictate how happy or sad we should be.
    You got to take back control. You have to utilize the power of choosing. Life is a choice, a mind set. Don't let it depend on anything or anyone.
    I have met a few master meditator who have live alone without seeing another human being for months at time. They are the most happy people I have ever met. They master their thought. They control it. They pick and choose whatever feeling they want for themselves. I have met many single backpacker traveling around the world all by themselves. They slept in cheap guesthouses, ate cheap street foods, carry only 3 set clothes and an ipad. They travel the world and feel wonderful. Many of them told me they never feel better being alone. Much more than when they were with friends partying back in the States. I have met a 90 years old man who were widow when he was 65. He always smile, always have a very content and at peace look on him, and he is at his best when he is out working in his garden. He live alone in a small shed at a foot of a mountain in the Northeast part of Thailand. His closest neighbor live about 10 minutes walk away, he told me he choose to be happy. It is just a feeling. I have met a Catholic priest traveling alone from country to country. He visited all these orphanages and poor houses around the world, bringing them financial support that he had collected from around the world. He told me he often go for days without talking to anyone. And no, he is not lonely. He love what he is doing and he said he always feel great. He has his calling. I met a refugee who left his home country and family when he was a minor. He live alone and went to school during the day, washing dishes at night in a restaurant. He has no friend because he doesn't speak English much. His family is half way around the world. He love his life, he feel fortunate he "made" it out alive and is now able to work and send help to his family. He has a chance to be somebody some day (some of you probably know who this kid is). He has his "calling" too. I know of a man in his 80's in Chicago. he chose to be a bachelor his whole life and he is perfectly happy with his lovely dog. He is now teaching people how to overcome tms. He even wrote a book about it. :)
    I don't have any advise for you, I just feel very strongly that we are what we think all day long and loneliness is a habitual feeling. Break out of it, choose to be happy. Choose to put others before you, be compassionate for others and seek out and help people who are less fortunate than us usually bring us happiness. Don't sit there and wait for other to bring it to us. We give then we shall receive.
    Just my 2 cents.
     
    AC45 likes this.
  15. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    Thanks Balto :)

    I was thinking about you :)

    I'm affraid I'm not able to be at ease with my own thoughts, my inner fears, so I jump and rush from one distraction to another. That was why I beat chronic pain. Now, I panic because I don't have distractions, at least, distractions that really absorve me...

    Can one eliminate chilhood fear? Or is it a part of your personality? When I was a child I remember I could not sleep because I was affraid of the dark. Now I'm afraid of pain, and of being affraid.... And reading books, or trying to control my fears is making me worse because it reminds me that I'm in fear/pain... Shifting my attention is the key for me, but when there is nothing interesting to focus on, I have relapses... :(

    So what should I do Balto? Should I take a anxiety pills in SOS? I avoid them completely...

    I know you buy mid power form John Kehoe... It worked for me in the past.. Now it is making me angry, because I already knows those things, and about TMS, but I cannot shift my attention from pain... What are your daily affirmations? Thanks again :)
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2016
  16. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Well Filipe, I know this wasn't addressed to me--but, since this is the internets, and anyone with a computer can butt right in and spew out their unsolicited 2bit coins, worth of unsolicited opinion--and we dialogued extensively at the OTHER TMS board, and by PM's, and, I clued you into the existence of this TMS forum--since the OTHER one is pretty moribund these days--I feel an obligation to give you my thoughts: STOP reading self-help books--SARNO is all you need for psychosomatic health issues, whether structural or affective symptoms. AND, get out there and DO something that gives you a sense of self-worth and is a positive distraction from your ruminating about your past, that is history and can't be undone. It's a big beautiful world and there are a bizzillion things to do--the problem can be the ambivalence created by all the choices.

    You're welcome.
     
    filipe likes this.
  17. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    Thanks Tom ... I really appreciated your help... I'm really sad this days :(

    Also my problem is that I came from hollydays... My relapsed started during the end of holydays... I feel stucked...

    In my work I have night shift... I'm having dificutlt finding distractions... :(
     
  18. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks for the reply Filipe, if I may ask, what do you do for work? Also, at the other forum, I believe you discussed relationship issues with your wife, are they still active?
     
  19. filipe

    filipe Peer Supporter

    I develope a deep and irrational fear about pai and what my mind can do to one...

    I realize that shifting your attention works, so I'm running away from my pain, and my onw fears...

    Unfortunatelly I work solo. Works doesn't absorve me a lot...

    I try to be at ease with my thoughts, but it is not working... I don't want to spend my whole life running away from what is inside my mind. I read once that people don't do meditation. because they are affraid what is inside. Well, I'm one of them... I try to control my mind, and my inner thoughts, and it doesn't work, now I'm running away... unfortunately, I did music, I hada a SOLO band. but I'm fed up, with doing music... why? Because, nobody buys my records... no Label is interested in my music. I just wish I can do music just for me without trying to sell it, or plesuring others...

    Is a western really capable of meditate?!?!?? Why am so affraid of it?

    PS: My wife got back to work. Now I feel even lonely...
     
  20. balto

    balto Beloved Grand Eagle

    Filipe, no one can help you but yourself. We can only share with you what had worked for us. You have to do the work and you have to reinvent yourself. TT gave wonderful advice above.
    "Two prisoners look out their cell's window, one saw the mud the other saw the stars."
    Circumstances don't make people happy or sad, how people think about their circumstances did. We all heard of stories of the rich and famous, who seem to have everything, committed suicide. There are million of people who live in extreme poverty all around the world who are happy, content, and at peace with what they have. It is all about perception, all about how we think. A negative mindset is a habit you have to break. To me, the best way I know of is to participate in charity work. Fully involve and devote yourself in helping other always lifted my spirit and created happiness for me. It never fail. The more we forget ourselves and live and think for others, the happier we will be.
    sometime we have to forget ourselves in order to find it. Tmser's spend 99.99% of their time thinking only about themselves. When you can find way to forget the self is when you start to heal and live happy.
     
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