Anxiety

I'm making slow but steady progress with the pain and the physical restrictions from conditioning.I'm undergoing hypnotherapy too which I've found helpful but at the moment, my anxiety has reached quite high levels and I'm finding it hard to keep a lid on it.I've had some unpleasant dreams and wonder if the hypnotherapy could be stirring things up.I'm treating it as TMS but the fact is that there are also a lot of very real reasons for anxiety in my life too. Not least is the fact that my husband, who was very ill and nearly died last year, has really not got back to what he was and at the moment seems, for unknown reasons,to be getting worse again. Couple that with three family deaths in the last 22 months as well as everyday ongoing stresses and you get the picture.
I have been really trying meditation and mindfulness but I just seem to get more anxious and frustrated because my mind just uses the space to start dwelling on negativity. I've journalled too, of course but none of this seems to be settling it down and I'm feeling overwhelmed. What seems to be best is keeping busy while acknowledging the problems.
Hope all this makes sense. I'm not expecting any solutions here;perhaps just offloading a bit I guess.

 

Solange, I'm glad you offloaded here. I find it so helpful to see how others struggle - with situations far more grave than my own. That's not to say I enjoy reading of others' pain. I just mean that it helps me with perspective.

Sweetie suggested last night that I breathe iiinnnnnnnnn positive energy (not necessarily thoughts, but whatever I feel is positive) and breath oouuuuttttt the burdensome thoughts. Allow the positive (for me, sunlight, flowers waving gently in the breeze, the smell of a puppy's breath or belly or paws) to move the negative energy aside, kind of crowding it out. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I'm a nobody - just a fellow traveler on this Bilbo Baggins adventure - but I thought I'd offer up what I had.

Stay the course.

 

Solange have you tried Eugene Gendlins focusing
It really helped me when I was having these type of emotions
and have your read any Claire weeks or heard her audios
if not let me know I can give you some links ok.

You don't have to keep struggling like this, there are answers
and im glad you got to get the repressions out.
Your doing super, let me know
Bless you

oh and Cherylie, that breathing technique helps
me real good when I wake up in the mornings
thanks for the advice.

 

Thanks Cherylie and Eric. I will try the breathing you suggest Cherylie; I like the idea of positive, happy thoughts being breathed in and I will definitely use some of the same images you yourself use.
Eric, I have checked up on Claire Weeks on Amazon and I think I will order her book. I will follow up your other suggestion re Eugene Gendlins and see if that helps.
It's good to have different things to try.
Thanks so much both of you, just getting a response from cyberspace reduces the anxiety a bit!

 

Thank You Solange
Here are some Clare Weekes audios that have helped me a lot
Hope you like them- part 3 and 4 really hit home

Part 1

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover1.mp3

Part 2

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover2.mp3

Part 3

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover3.mp3

Part 4

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover4.mp3

 

Eric,thanks so much for the Clare Weekes audios. I have just finished listening to them and found the fourth one particularly good, especially the last third or so of it.She has an amazingly calming voice and some very helpful advice. Having pushed myself hard to overcome some conditioned reactions and then given up on it because it was becoming stressful,I really found her idea of 'merging gradually ' into normal life a good one. The best bit of advice for me personally was to forget about 'testing' myself because,as she says, everyone hates a test and tenses up at the very thought but rather think about it as 'practising' what you want to do because you cannot fail if you ar ejust practising

 

Eric, thanks so much for the audio links. these were very useful particularly the last part of the fourth one. I especially liked her advice of 'accepting' not fighting and beginning a 'gradual merging' into normal life. In the past I have run into problems trying to overcome conditioned responses with a forceful attack. I succeeded in doing the desired activities but built up so much anxiety anticipating them each time that I had to stop. Dr Weekes advice to stop thinking of these things as 'testing' myself because even the word 'test' builds stress and a negative anticipation and implants in the mind the possibility of failure,all of which create anxiety. Much better to think of it only as a chance to practise doing a particular desired activity because if we are only practising, we cannot fail .I really liked that and found it a very helpful way of approaching the issue. I will listen to part 4 again. Thanks for your support.

 

Ooops! thought I'd lost the first reply(got interrupted by my son in the process of posting) so now you have two! sorry about that.

 

Solange this is awesome, its great she has helped you
it really helped me , that's the reason I pass it on to my friends

I understood what the anxiety was doing to me after all the years of having it
I like the way you said it above too about testing yourself compared to practicing
I think its called Masterly Inactivity. I posted a thread from her book
Hope and help for your nerves, about a month ago.

The important thing is that her understanding works and you would
do good to go back and listen to them over when times become stressful

Thanks

 

Solange, I can identify with what you are going through. I've had my share of problems with anxiety. One book that I found recently, that I found very helpful is Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. You might check it out

 

Thanks Msunn, will check that book out;it's one I haven't heard of before.
I'm trying to have a calm day today and just be accepting of whatever comes my way. I never used to understand how all consuming anxiety can be, sometimes I feel like my head will explode with all the thoughts whizzing round in it; it's really horrible. I have realised tho' that I grew up in such a tense atmosphere,'treading on eggshells,' that my internal anxiety meter has been stuck on high for decades without me even realising and now I'm paying the price. Still, the pain has decreased so that is something.

 

Eric- Thanks for the reminder and links to Claires 'talks'. Solange- I listened to those many times a few months ago when I had a relapse and a totally new scary symptom inperative. The audios the content and her voice really helped me calm the intense anxiety I was becoming sucked into and consumed with.
Keep practising and if you can get lots of walks in too!

 

Rinkey, I have a long walk each day and I truly think I would feel much worse without it. I can walk out in nature from where I live and I go whatever the weather. It helps me to maintain some balance in my head as well as keeping me fit. I have listened to the talks now and also got Claire Weekes book so I hope this will all help. Listenening is sometimes a better option for me when I'm hyped up as her voice is very calming and the pace of it slows me down and stops me rushing ahead as I might in a book.

 

Solange, I empathise with your situation. A little over five years ago my other half was diagnosed with Parkinsons and was in such a terrible state his specialist thought he would be dead or in a home within five to ten years. As if now he's still with us and doing remarkably well. But the last five years have been intense. On the spectrum of responses, I barrelled into a classic fight response and it's noteworthy that my ills are upper body/anger related over anxiety. Caring for someone, saving their life is a ferocious and very loving fight, or at least it was. I'm not the girl I was and he's not the same boy. It's been one helluva transition. We may be experiencing opposite poles, I don't really know, but I hear you and send you my bestest best wishes.

(Claire Weekes and Tara Brach are both wonderful resources. I love Dr. Weekes especially and find her voice such a touchstone of sanity, safety and soothing.)