Day 10 An aha! moment

I had another small Aha! moment today while journaling. Much of my anxiety comes in the form of hypochondria - mostly fear of quickly fatal illness. And I was thinking about when this started happening. And I realized that I was never worried about these things until I left home for college. Thats when I started to worry that I would have an aneurism or cerebral meningitis (both examples that I remember reading in the paper that occurred to individuals in the town I grew up in - oh the power of suggestion!). And college was one more of these times where I had to leave the life I'd been living and start a new chapter. I wasn't very far from home, so I'm not sure this ever registered with me before, but my routine and the friends I was used to seeing every day would no longer be there, and I could never go back to the way things were before. I think I'm connecting the dots between these big life changes and moves to my different episodes of anxieties and pain. Which sounds so obvious now, but I never really appreciated it before. Our brains are so incredible.

 

Guseman, l also didn't realize moving was a huge stress for me. I always blamed it on something else, but my most recent move was really a horrible time for me emotionally and there was nothing to blame, but the move. Then I saw past moves in a new light and it was clear.

Yes, the mind is powerful. I guess this really is good or we would have been eaten by sabortooth tigers a long time ago. Maybe our primative relatives where reved up about moves because there could be new dangers that they weren't aware of, but they needed to be ready anyway. Makes me feel smarter to think that anyway!

 

My moved almost every year... Apartments in Chicago, because we were always being evicted for
not paying the rent, low as it was. I lost friends as we moved from one neighborhood to another.
But then made new friends. As an adult I have not moved much. I've traveled and seen a lot of the world,
but I am a real home-loving guy.