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Afraid of the next day

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Waterbear, Feb 25, 2014.

  1. Waterbear

    Waterbear Peer Supporter

    Hi Everyone!

    I’ve been meaning to get back to responding and asking more questions on the forums but I’ve been busy with activities! (which is great, but I think I need to get back to work on this and center myself a bit more)

    I’ve very excited that I’ll be taking a trip to the Everglades in a month. I’ve wanted to see the Everglades since I was old enough to watch the Discovery channel. Mom and I are making it a girls week.

    I’ve been doing pretty good with a lot of walking for one day. Usually, the next day I wake up a bit sore, take it easy, and by that night I’ve calmed myself down again. Yesterday, I ran for 4 mins and lifted weights w/o pain in my knees but as I type this my right knee is pretty mad.

    I’m certain that I’m scared of days 2, 3, 4 etc. I know I can make it though day 1 okay, but this is a week long trip. It’ll be the most walking I’ve done in a over a year. I’m afraid.

    I know I’m afraid that the pain will come back and be like it was a year ago. I want to conquer this though.

    Any tips for handling my first trip since the pain started?

    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  2. tigerlilly

    tigerlilly Well known member

    Waterbear - I too am afraid to take a vacation. Not only am I currently confined to bed from the pain in my lower back and leg (unable to walk beyond getting to bathroom to kitchen and then the pain is bad enough to put me back in bed). My husband thinks I need to get out of the house and get a change of scenery - wants to take me on vacation or even a weekend away just to get my mind off of things. But I'm afraid that if I'm not able to free my mind and enjoy myself on vacation, then not only am I going to be stuck in the pain, but now I'll also fear going anywhere on vacation. (Funny how many times I see the fear word crop up in my post!)
    I feel like I need to take baby steps - like, let's go for a short ride while I lay the seat back and see how that goes, as opposed to planning a weekend away when I can barely walk and definitely can't sit yet.
    So I'm hopeful that our TMS family will have some helpful advice.
    I think on the plus side, that since your vacation is a month away - you have time to work on some baby steps and build up your confidence each day.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  3. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes. Just be, don't think like " well this is going to be terrible -- no. Think like this is going to be a great vacation and days 2 3 and 4 are going to be awesome too. Visualize yourself have a great time pain free and believe you can do this. If you do have any pain then don't panic or worry just let it be and then go about your day as in harmony without judgment or shame or guilt.

    If you feel fear and you think oh my God then you are feeding the first wave of fear. So don't fear if you first get pain or anxiety. Don't fear this first wave and it will pass. You will then be good to go if you have any conditioned responses.

    The goal is not to focus on the negative happening but if it does you know what to do, Just be without judgment or blame ok. Look at the newest Claire Weekes thread. You might have done read it but the floating is what you want but you don't want to focus on the first wave of fear either. Its this first wave of fear. The fear of fear that usually makes us have pain or anxiety so know in your mind and see in your mind yourself having a good time with no pain, even if you do have pain don't fous on that area either. Focus on a place of your body that doesn't hurt if you must focus on the body and then float. You got this. And yes keep up with your learnings cause that is very beneficial for case emergencies.

    I do like trgllycts baby steps method but I believe Waterbear has took those steps so remember if your having pain free days then its time to board ship and sail ya know
    Bless You
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2014
    Lily Rose likes this.
  4. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle


    You need to dispel the belief that you can only have one good day followed by pain. You have time to start working on this before your trip. What techniques are you using when pain sets in? If you can build some success in getting the pain to leave once it's started, then you will build your confidence that you can do whatever you want because there is nothing structurally wrong. You are in control. Also, practice outcome independence, and realize you don't have to be completely pain free to enjoy your vacation.

    When I start to have pain I use these techniques:
    • I talk to my brain (out loud sometimes works better for me) and tell it to stop, that it doesn't need to create pain anymore, etc. Use the words that work for you.(I find this doesn't work immediately, but I usually notice the pain has decreased or is gone 15 minutes later)
    • If I still have pain I use a mindfulness meditation technique where I focus on the pain in a non-judgmental way, then do some deep breathing (20 minutes will usually get rid of the pain, but if not I do it again for another 20 minutes)
    • I will journal about any emotional conflicts that may be a factor
    • I will forget about pain and just do whatever I was going to do anyway, trying to be as much in the present as possible. Putting my focus outside myself--on nature, on others, on something engrossing mentally, on laughter, etc.

    I would just start doing 'baby steps' as recommended above until you have strung together 5 or so good days where you are able to do whatever you want--pain or no pain.

    You can do this, Waterbear. You are going to have a great vacation in the Everglades.
  5. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    I love this reply Ellen -- it has the steps to power. You should copy this Waterbear and hang it up as your morning to do list. Thanks Ellen
  6. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Waterbear, great advice from everyone.

    Claire Weekes would say take a short vacation, like a one hour drive with your husband, and stop and walk a little.
    A few minutes or 5 or 10. Drive a little way again and do the same.

    Next day, a two-hour drive, and walk.

    Next day, a three-hour drive, and walk.

    Work your way up to an evening out with your husband, and an overnight in a hotel or motel.

    Then a week vacation or the Everglades.

    Small steps leads to going the distance. Good luck and replace fear with "I can do this, it's a piece of cake!"
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  7. Waterbear

    Waterbear Peer Supporter

    Just read all the responses. Great advise, everyone!

    I'm printing out my checklist now. :)

    I'm a huge nature/animal fan so I'm really excited to see the Everglades. We're doing a fan boat trip to see gators and there's a FL panther reserve we're going to as well!
    Eric "Herbie" Watson and Ellen like this.
  8. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Your upcoming Everglade trip in a fan boat sounds fantastic. I'd especially love to see the panthers.

    Keep those exciting thoughts in your mind and you'll have a great time.

    There are some good movies that were set in the Everglades that could help you to prepare for the trip.

    You can rent "Distant Drums" (1951) with Gary Cooper from Netflix.

    Another set in the Florida Everglades that is good is an old Rock Hudson film, "Seminole" (1953),
    but darn it, it isn't available from Netflix.

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