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Janine28
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Jun 28, 2016
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Janine28

Peer Supporter, Female

Janine28 was last seen:
Jun 28, 2016
  • My Story

    Hello. I have been suffering from debilitating Knee pain for 2 years (this week!) The knee pain set in, in both knees (but strongest in right knee) 6 weeks after my son's last chemotherapy treatment for bilateral Wilms (cancer on both kidneys).

    I spent that year during Sky's treatments putting aside intense pain, mostly in my back. Pushing through and also caring for a newborn.

    When my knees collapsed, I went to see an orthopedist, and through tear soaked eyes, asked him if there was any way that the stress and total terror of my son's cancer diagnosis and treatments could have contributed to the pain in my knees. He said, "absolutely not."

    After an MRI, I learned that I had osteonecrosis (blood was not getting to 2 areas of my right knee properly). The treatment was no weight baring for 3 weeks. I experienced severe muscle atrophy. After that, I found my knee pain continue to grow. The fear of the pain continued to increase the pain.

    I am a long time meditator and felt that I was pretty aware of my emotions. I even thought I was pretty emotionally intelligent and able to watch my emotions come and release them. But this experience has been extremely humbling. Throughout Sky's treatments, I was terrified that he would pass away, and I was so afraid of my grief, that I kept my terror at bay. I held it all back, afraid that if I let out too much, I would be overwhelmed by a tide of emotions so intense that I didn't know I could survive it. I also felt extreme guilt for not being able to be with Sky every moment of every day, of having to stay home with my baby and older daughter while Sky's father brought him to his 2-day treatments, quite a distance from our home.

    Over these last 2 years I have worked with 4 different physical therapists, an osteopath, and an orthopedist. A follow up MRI confirmed that my osteonecrosis disappeared, and that while I had cartilage inflamation in my right knee, no other structural abnormalities could be found, and no problems in my left knee could be found either.

    One year ago my sister recommended Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain and I assumed that it had nothing to offer me as my pain was in my knees and it seemed to psychological too me. Yesterday, I was moved to pick it up again, and I felt like I was reading about myself. I literally threw down my braces, went outside, and took a walk (I haven't walked more than 1 block at a time these past 2 years). Everytime I felt the unstable feeling or moments of pain in my knee, I turned to my emotions. I walked and walked.

    Today, I spent the day on my feet (I never spend more than 2 minutes on my feet at a time). I'm not in pain. I have this discomfort in my knees, but it is not painful. I'm feeling very hopeful about the possibilities.

    In case you've made it this far in my story, I am so happy to share with you that Sky is well and thriving.
    Thanks for reading!
    Janine

    Some of my favorite TMSwiki sites to date:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/understanding-and-overcoming-fear.8574/ (Dr. Schubiner's Blog - Understanding and overcoming fear)

    To Fear or Not to Fear: http://www.painpsychologycenter.com/tofearornottofear.pdf

    Self Monitor:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Self_Monitor (Self Monitor)

    Key to Healing:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/key-to-healing.3577/ (Key to healing)
    1. ashoo79
      ashoo79
      Very touching story.May God will make easy for you.
      1. Sienna and Janine28 like this.
    2. Boston Redsox
      Boston Redsox
      Amazing story thx for sharing and welcome
      1. Janine28 likes this.
    3. Andy Bayliss
      Andy Bayliss
      Remarkable beginning to a wonderful recovery!! Best to you in this work, Janine.
      1. Janine28 likes this.
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  • My Story

    Gender:
    Female
    Hello. I have been suffering from debilitating Knee pain for 2 years (this week!) The knee pain set in, in both knees (but strongest in right knee) 6 weeks after my son's last chemotherapy treatment for bilateral Wilms (cancer on both kidneys).

    I spent that year during Sky's treatments putting aside intense pain, mostly in my back. Pushing through and also caring for a newborn.

    When my knees collapsed, I went to see an orthopedist, and through tear soaked eyes, asked him if there was any way that the stress and total terror of my son's cancer diagnosis and treatments could have contributed to the pain in my knees. He said, "absolutely not."

    After an MRI, I learned that I had osteonecrosis (blood was not getting to 2 areas of my right knee properly). The treatment was no weight baring for 3 weeks. I experienced severe muscle atrophy. After that, I found my knee pain continue to grow. The fear of the pain continued to increase the pain.

    I am a long time meditator and felt that I was pretty aware of my emotions. I even thought I was pretty emotionally intelligent and able to watch my emotions come and release them. But this experience has been extremely humbling. Throughout Sky's treatments, I was terrified that he would pass away, and I was so afraid of my grief, that I kept my terror at bay. I held it all back, afraid that if I let out too much, I would be overwhelmed by a tide of emotions so intense that I didn't know I could survive it. I also felt extreme guilt for not being able to be with Sky every moment of every day, of having to stay home with my baby and older daughter while Sky's father brought him to his 2-day treatments, quite a distance from our home.

    Over these last 2 years I have worked with 4 different physical therapists, an osteopath, and an orthopedist. A follow up MRI confirmed that my osteonecrosis disappeared, and that while I had cartilage inflamation in my right knee, no other structural abnormalities could be found, and no problems in my left knee could be found either.

    One year ago my sister recommended Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain and I assumed that it had nothing to offer me as my pain was in my knees and it seemed to psychological too me. Yesterday, I was moved to pick it up again, and I felt like I was reading about myself. I literally threw down my braces, went outside, and took a walk (I haven't walked more than 1 block at a time these past 2 years). Everytime I felt the unstable feeling or moments of pain in my knee, I turned to my emotions. I walked and walked.

    Today, I spent the day on my feet (I never spend more than 2 minutes on my feet at a time). I'm not in pain. I have this discomfort in my knees, but it is not painful. I'm feeling very hopeful about the possibilities.

    In case you've made it this far in my story, I am so happy to share with you that Sky is well and thriving.
    Thanks for reading!
    Janine

    Some of my favorite TMSwiki sites to date:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/understanding-and-overcoming-fear.8574/ (Dr. Schubiner's Blog - Understanding and overcoming fear)

    To Fear or Not to Fear: http://www.painpsychologycenter.com/tofearornottofear.pdf

    Self Monitor:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Self_Monitor (Self Monitor)

    Key to Healing:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/key-to-healing.3577/ (Key to healing)