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Anne Walker
Joined:
Apr 22, 2013
Messages:
503
Likes Received:
809
Trophy Points:
101
Gender:
Female
Location:
Austin, Texas

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Anne Walker

Beloved Grand Eagle, Female, from Austin, Texas

  • My Story

    I started this story once and then deleted it. So much, hard to know where to begin. I have suffered from TMS for over 30 years although I did not know it. I searched, explored, hope, tried a million things, switched my focus from one pain symptom or some concern over my health to another. It was always something. All the time juggling a very stressful career, an unstable marriage, having children and taking on all kinds of additional side projects. For instance one year I moved an old Church from 120 miles West of Austin to 3 acres in downtown Austin to develop as an event facility. This was a side hobby. During this same year I was producing a big film, pregnant with my first child and my father passed away 4 days before he was born. Stress, drama and chaos have always seemed to govern my life. My severe chronic pain started in my early 30's with a disc ruptured in my lower back. I had intense sciatica and after several months of all kinds of alternative therapies, I had back surgery. This is also when the severe panic attacks first appeared. Over the next 18 years I had chronic back pain, sciatica, occipital neuralgia, plantar fasciitis, bladder spasms, what I thought might be chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, anxiety disorder, brain fog, panic attacks and the worst...benign positional vertigo. This Fall after making a major life career change and some personal disappointments, I had a bad case of Benign Positional Verigo which then moved into severe neck, should and occipital pain on my right side. It has been very constant the last 7 months and after researching chronic pain once again, I stumbled across information on TMS and this time it really clicked. I had read Sarno's book 18 years ago and spent months trying to release repressed emotions and uncover the traumatic event that was causing my back pain. But I don't think I really understood it correctly then. The pain is caused from the tension created by how I am being, how I am being today. Its the emotions I am repressing now, how I react to stress, the chronic negative thinking... Its not just uncovering something from the past, it is becoming aware and patiently changing how I am being. After several months of working on my TMS I am much more aware of how I am relating to the world, the fear, the pressure I put on myself, the constant self criticism. The trick for me is accepting who I am with love and compassion and changing how I am being without being critical of my need to change. At least this is what I am currently grappling with.
    1. billiewells
      billiewells
      You commented on my post the other day and it was fabulous, having read your story it is very similar to mine, even the BPV which is terrifying . . . living in a very scary world, make some progress then go back again. Thankyou for your time
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  • My Story

    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    I started this story once and then deleted it. So much, hard to know where to begin. I have suffered from TMS for over 30 years although I did not know it. I searched, explored, hope, tried a million things, switched my focus from one pain symptom or some concern over my health to another. It was always something. All the time juggling a very stressful career, an unstable marriage, having children and taking on all kinds of additional side projects. For instance one year I moved an old Church from 120 miles West of Austin to 3 acres in downtown Austin to develop as an event facility. This was a side hobby. During this same year I was producing a big film, pregnant with my first child and my father passed away 4 days before he was born. Stress, drama and chaos have always seemed to govern my life. My severe chronic pain started in my early 30's with a disc ruptured in my lower back. I had intense sciatica and after several months of all kinds of alternative therapies, I had back surgery. This is also when the severe panic attacks first appeared. Over the next 18 years I had chronic back pain, sciatica, occipital neuralgia, plantar fasciitis, bladder spasms, what I thought might be chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, anxiety disorder, brain fog, panic attacks and the worst...benign positional vertigo. This Fall after making a major life career change and some personal disappointments, I had a bad case of Benign Positional Verigo which then moved into severe neck, should and occipital pain on my right side. It has been very constant the last 7 months and after researching chronic pain once again, I stumbled across information on TMS and this time it really clicked. I had read Sarno's book 18 years ago and spent months trying to release repressed emotions and uncover the traumatic event that was causing my back pain. But I don't think I really understood it correctly then. The pain is caused from the tension created by how I am being, how I am being today. Its the emotions I am repressing now, how I react to stress, the chronic negative thinking... Its not just uncovering something from the past, it is becoming aware and patiently changing how I am being. After several months of working on my TMS I am much more aware of how I am relating to the world, the fear, the pressure I put on myself, the constant self criticism. The trick for me is accepting who I am with love and compassion and changing how I am being without being critical of my need to change. At least this is what I am currently grappling with.