Your thoughts?

[CalmIsTheCure]

Since ive known about TMS it has actually got worse not better. Ive done all the tools out there. None of them have worked for me.
So ive come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe the pursuit of finding answers, needing certainty and needing control are actually the problem.
The relentless pursuit of hidden emotions, hidden patterns, the message, the why. Maybe thats what feeds it all along.
My pain was probably screaming from the start please stop trying to control everything. And instead of getting the memo I just did what I always do and try to seek certainty and control.
At the end of the day whats bothering us is subconious. However we can look at what we are doing now and become aware.
But awareness without action is pointless.
You can know everything about TMS. But if you dont stop feeding it, you wont go a different result.
The only difficult part is, although we have unhelpful behaviours our silly little brains have decided to believe our unhelpful traits are keeping us safe. Even when now its causing us pain.
Anyway I may be rambling a bit.

My point being for some, I think all these tools are actually fuel to the fire. Sure being self aware is good, but awareness is not enough. Its the start. And I personally dont think I am a repressor. Not really. I over share, I complain and talk a lot lol.

So ive decided my problem is probably a chronic need for certainty, a need for control and a very quick overthinking logical mind.

So what im trying to say is. Maybe if nothings working is because everytbing im doing is actually not what I need.

What I need is to teach my brain that I no longer need these traits. And that is scary. Because they are associated with safety. Letting go is the hardest part.

When peiple say do the work it sounds like 100 diffwrent tools. Re dig up all your old wounds etc etc. Maybe not.

Maybe the work doesnt feel like work because it requires me to do nothing. And nothing is the complete opposite of what im programmed to do.
So although it feels like im doing nothing if I dont continue to analyse that is infact doing the most important thing.

Anyway, deffo a ramble.

 

[feduccini]

Hi Calm, sorry for symptoms not getting better.

I think you're on point about the need for control being a fuel to the mindbody symptoms.

What I immediately noticed when I started the TMS journey is that there's a lot of interpretation for the origin of pain, all of them trying to give a palpable reason for it: pain is to distract from emotional issues, pain is to bring attention to emotional issues, pain is the burst of a mind that can't take anymore, pain is the limbic system communicating fear and on and on...

But these are just interpretations. What we know so far is that something is putting our limbic system on edge, causing an overflow of adrenaline and cortisol, and with time the areas of the brain that light up (in fMRI readings) when pain is felt move to areas responsible for emotional processing. Pain and emotion start going hand in hand and it gets impossible to know where one ends and the other begins.

We also know neuropathways are permanent, there's no way to erase these connections. The work then is to build a positive system more robust than the traumatized one.

I'm saying all this because I do feel there's a danger in using these methods too much. I like somatic tracking, but it does bring attention to the pain. I like journaling, but it brings a lot of rumination. I love physical exposition, but there's always some sort of frustration involved when the symptoms get nasty before I expected.

But there are safer tools like visualization, yoga nidra, warm bath, contact with nature etc. that don't need to come as TMS work. They're more like a break from stress.

 

[HealingMe]

I think you are on the right track.

Ask yourself, how would it make me feel if I dropped the need to do all of those things? Do I feel terrified? What thoughts are you having? Let the feeling sit there. Let the thoughts sit there. You can invite them in slowly. 1 minute. 2 minutes. Observe them, feel, and move on with your day or task you were doing. You’re showing your brain I can let this be here and continue with my life. That’s how the brain learns safety.

 

[BloodMoon]

So ive decided my problem is probably a chronic need for certainty, a need for control and a very quick overthinking logical mind.

So what im trying to say is. Maybe if nothings working is because everytbing im doing is actually not what I need.

What I need is to teach my brain that I no longer need these traits. And that is scary. Because they are associated with safety.

I too think you're really onto something here! From my own experience, when I went from being bedridden and housebound to doing very well by comparison, it wasn't one specific technique but sticking with things I enjoyed, didn't mind, or needed to do for daily life—my general approach to everything has been baby steps. Another way to create that sense of safety is through grounding or using soft anchors — simple, soothing activities that help your body and mind settle (like @feduccini mentioned above).

Grounding and soft anchors are gentle ways of teaching the brain that safety can come from the present moment, not from analysing or controlling everything—as Sarno wrote in The Mindbody Prescription, all that might be required is to counteract what's going on with self-soothing.

I once dismissed them as woo-woo and unlikely to help, but I've found them surprisingly profound—my brain now lets go of loops much more easily, where before I'd get badly stuck. They work by giving your attention somewhere kind to rest, and I generally feel so much more peaceful about everything.

I do things like rolling a smooth pebble or small object in my fingers, tracing a texture I like, gently rubbing my thumb and forefinger together, feeling my feet on the ground, naming things you can see or touch, lengthening the out-breath, focusing on the weight and warmth of a hot drink, humming or singing a simple tune, counting my chews and sips while eating or drinking, or picking something from 101 Ways to Find Calm by Rebekah Ballagh—where the cutesy illustrations belie how profoundly effective the grounding ideas are.

No need to be perfect about it either – for example, if I remember to count the number of chews for part of my meal, that's enough, and if I forget altogether, then that's okay too... there's always the next meal. You can just start with one or two that feel easy, repeating them in tiny moments throughout the day. Over time, these repeated, tolerable moments of "I'm okay enough right now" become new good habits and anchors, so the brain has somewhere else to go besides overthinking and searching for certainty.

 

[Diana-M]

Maybe the work doesnt feel like work because it requires me to do nothing.

I like this! I think you’re onto something. Just a sweet letting go. I tried this recently, and I felt much better.