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Your pain is helping you right now becoz u r not where u want to be

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Mala, Apr 28, 2015.

  1. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    I just took this very interesting quote from SteveO who used it in response ro another thread. I have pondered this many times especially when I was reading his book The GPD which I must add is very well written & very insightful.

    'Look at your life, where is it, and where do you want it to be? Your pain is helping you right now because you are not where you want to be.'

    I have tried to explore this in detail but each time I come up with the same response. I am exactly where I want to be. I wouldn't trade my life (with all its ups & down) or the ppl in it for anything else. I have everything I need & want & consider myself very lucky. I am very satisfied with everything except of course for the pain.

    Would be great to hear what others think.

    IrishSceptic likes this.
  2. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Like you Mala I feel the same way, but we need to dig deeper, maybe its the life our ego wants that we are living still?
  3. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Have you always been completely satisfied with your life? Since the unconscious has no sense of time, maybe it is things from the past that are causing your pain. Maybe Steve's statement could be revised to say "Look at your life, where it is, where it was, and where you want it to be? Your pain is helping you right now because you have not always been where you want to be." In other words, at sometime things were unacceptable.

    Just a thought.....the statement works for me written either way.
    Mala, Sussex TMS and Tennis Tom like this.
  4. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    So true ….I have been in a terrible place for a long time a terrible marriage that is coming to its end.
  5. Sussex TMS

    Sussex TMS Peer Supporter

    Thanks, I hadn't thought of it like that. But how does one stop the unconscious from dwelling on past stresses?
  6. rcguy1982

    rcguy1982 New Member

    Good Morning Mala:

    That is a fantastic quote and appears consistent with Dr. Sarno as well. Although I am new to TMS, I am thinking there may be something in your life that you may subconsciously wish were different. I know with me, journaling has really helped me in this respect.
    Mala likes this.
  7. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    Thx for all your responses. I am still mulling this one thru. Sarno does of course talk about looking to yr emotions, to think psychologically. Yes maybe it's something from the past or even something in the present , maybe the type of personality you have. He doesn't say u have to pinpoint exactly what is going on though. In this quote however it seems that one would have to keep searching as to what might be causing the pain for the pain to go away.
  8. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Mala, as always…a great post with a thought provoking comment. I can only answer that for me, SteveO's post is spot on. I can see how I've constructed very carefully a "perfect wife and homeschool mom" persona over the years. The ego does NOT wantt that illusion exposed..that I am far from perfect and there are days were I'd like to crawl into a cave and run away from my family.

    So yeah. I'm very much a work in process coming to terms with some things that I am just not happy over. Scary, scary stuff. I can see why pain is such a handy distraction.
    Last edited: May 5, 2015
    Lizzy, Ellen and Mala like this.
  9. mdh157

    mdh157 Well known member

    I think the statement Steve made may have a lot to do with our minds and any past worries/regrets, OCD, etc that is holding us down unconsciously and keeping us from being 'free', so to speak. The problem with unconsciously is that we have to really dig to get it into the open to be dealt with. My belief is that we oft fail to realize it is there or to acknowledge it when we do find it.
    Mala likes this.
  10. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, everyone. North Star, isn't it great that we are a work in progress?

    At 84, I am so glad I discovered TMS two years ago and have been progressing into becoming the
    person I never thought I could be. I'm not there yet, but feel closer all the time. To what?
    Only God knows, but I believe stronger that He has good in mind for me, and for us all.

    Bad things can happen to good people, I know. But it's all part of what the Arabs said in
    "Lawrence of Arabia": "So, it is written."
    Mala likes this.
  11. Hanna

    Hanna Newcomer

    That's a great quote and a brilliant concept. And I second what Ellen said!

    I think that my pain is keeping me from leaving home (i am college-aged) in order to protect my much-younger sister. But wait, that sounds selfless! The unconscious doesn't act selflessly. Maybe...

    Consciously, I want so badly to leave and live my own life. Unconsciously, making sure that my sister is in a decent environment is my second chance at having a healthy, non-abusive childhood. Perhaps.

    It's kind of cute (in a very twisted way) how our pain tries to help us out x)

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