Hello everyone, If anyone could help with probably a more complex version of TMS, I would love to hear any advise or recommendation! In advance I will tell you that it could be a long post, feel free to stick around if you want I have had TMS for 6 years now, it started when I was 17, particularly noticing the pain when I was at my fathers house. The pain has always been in the back, 60% of the time in the lower back, 40% in the upper back. I am an invidiual who has been through traumatic experiences in childhood, pshysical abuse and mental abuse. This made me feel scared in my own home. I started having OCD at the age of 12, which is also a 'symptom' of TMS, the OCD was always focused on trying to convince me that I am 'a terrible person' even till this day, I am fully aware of the OCD, but it is still able to make me doubt if I am an okay human being, At this moment I have been following therapy with a TMS specialist for about 10 sessions (2 sessions in a row once a month), I am working with him on being able to feel Anger inside my body about my parents, at this moment my anxiety automaticly rises to an extreme high amount whenever we go into this subject, but I am really happy I am working on it! Even though I am working on it with him in a gentle pase, I am mostly in my home, not working or studying, and sometimes I wonder if I could indeedly challenge the pain with the SEP program, or by 'starting to do everything normally, bending, lifting stuff, going to the barber etc. I was on Day 2 in the SEP, and that evening I experienced a flare up of extreme anxiety, then after that, my fearful thoughts of the OCD were challenging me, and the last version was a feeling of depression, all in just a few hours! the pain was still there, but I notice that whenever I try to 'look into myself and truly stop every thought which goes towards my back' This occasion happens. I could barely sleep, but tried to accept the state I was in, and remember that one of the main goals for me is 'to be able to feel shitty, without feeling that I am shit' Which I have read in one of Dr. Sarno's books. The next day I had way more upper back pain, which also occurs whenever I talk to my Therapist. Even when I am aware that I have TMS, I admit that I feel scared, not just for the pain, but also that I start to feel a bit 'negative' towards myself. I do still visit Chiropractors, and I do want to stop with it, I am aware that that can't 'fix' it, but they do give me temporarly relief. I am now in day 3 of SEP, trying to let the pain sweep over me while starting to do daily activities such as going to the barber and going to the gym with light activity, and at this moment I am in an incredible amount of pain. I am wondering if this is for now the right thing and I better keep on going? My greatest question would be, if I have to wait with 'challenging' the TMS because there might be a higher amount of 'baggage' for me emotionally, or that it is okay to feel such a big amount of pain and that I have to keep on giving it as less attention as possible, while enjoying myself with activities, even though just going to the barber now gives me incredible pain because of the underlying stresses? I am also sometimes in doubt whether or not visiting the Chiropractor is wise. I am fully aware that this keeps the mind focussed on the 'physical body', but it also relieves a high amount of pain (temporarly), which is maybe a bit kinder towards myself? I have to admit that I am a bit scared of the intense pain, but also that it makes me feel a bit down-ish, or that it increases my anxiety or negative feelings. But all these things is TMS at work! Feel free to leave any comment this is my first post, so I guess this is a small 'get to know me' as well Thank you for reading!