Worsening of symptoms after an emotional outburst?

This weekend I had a real emotional outburst. I was crying until I physically couldn't anymore because my headache was the worst ever and my eyes got swollen. It was triggered by something and then all of what's bugging me at the moment came through. I was feeling really bad until the next day when I pulled myself together somehow. Since then, my pain is worse then before. I realized how much I actually repress what I'm feeling so I'm trying to work on that. But why has it got worse? Am I onto something?

 

Hi, Avy. I think your pain got worse because your subconscious realizes you are on to the emotional cause(s) of your pain. Maybe spend a little more time journaling to discover those emotions. Something recent may have triggered repressed emotions going back years.

 

Yes, you are onto something. You've noticed yourself repressing feelings, and are determined to change. That's a great step! But your unconscious is still holding on to its secrets, and often will ramp up the symptoms as further distraction.

Be patient with yourself. Keep at it but don't expect immediate results. Patience and self-compassion will do wonders.

 

Thank you Walt and David for your replies. I actually know what triggered it, after something that I read I didn't want to hear I had a complete emotional breakdown. I have a feeling that sometimes I'm going in circles with journaling about same stuff and getting nowhere. I know what is bothering me consciously but I can't seem to get deeper. I'm trying to be patient but I'm tired of this pain and I can see sometimes how easily I become irritated and frustrated by it.

 

Quit trying to go deeper, you might break through in China--Bali would be alright. If you're repressing it you can't access it, because it's repressed. Consciously you can bite your tongue, not wanting to appear socially unacceptable or non-PC, that's called SUPPRESSING. Stop spending hours doing psyco-archeology, searching for the black emotional bullet that caused it all. Its a complex of many factors that you're not going to change on a dime. Go out, or in, and do something that makes you feel good--confidence by doing builds more confidence that you are not structurally or affectively "injured".

Crying is great, you experienced your emotions, which is a good thing-- rather then stuffing them--although doing it at a MacDonalds's might not be the best local--maybe a Peet's Coffee may find you some new friends to console you.

The American Indians, or Native Americans, or First Nations people--whatever is PC this hour--had a saying: "Don't trust a man who doesn't cry once a day."

 

Tom, it's probably the perfectionist in me that is trying to find the repressed emotions. From time to time I stop notice it and get obsessed.

I can literally cry every day, so I guess people can trust me Another thing is when I try to hide it because I'm in public, it can get really awkward. It's interesting because sometimes only a specific songs trigger me into crying, and they don't even have to be sad.

 

I don't entirely agree with Tennis Tom about going deeper. Its true that you don't have direct access to repressed feelings. But there are ways to become aware of them. Awareness is the key, because it gives you the power to take control and make real changes.

I do agree that there isn't necessarily one specific memory or feeling that is causing the symptoms. It can be a pattern -- a lot of insignificant little things that added up while you weren't noticing.

 

Agreed, Dr. Sarno says when you feel the pain--shift your thinking to the "psychological"--ask yourself, what's bugging you Bunky? It could be a stressor occurring right now. For example, like someone pressuring you to do something you really don't want to do--putting you on the spot--forced "goodism". Just say "NO", and think about it, you can always change your mind and say yes after you feel comfortable with YOUR decision that YOU want to do it. Dr. Sarno was able to stop his migraines, HIS original TMS symptom, in it's tracks by shifting his thinking to the psychological--sometimes he could not figure out the emotional stressor, but changing the thinking patterns was enough to halt his migraine in the aura stage.

TMS is created by a combination of your past, present and your personality.

 

I agree with David that it can be various memories and many you are not thinking of. For me I had to address anger toward family, teachers, peers, doctors and a few adult friends who really let me down. Then I looked at all the loss, and finally, all my worst fears. I hated the process but I feel great now, 99% of the time.

 

Thank you all for your great responses I really appreciate it! I'm still in process of learning even though I'm on this TMS journey about 8 months. I'm pretty much aware what bugs me ( I journaled about a lot of stuff), but I repress my emotions and I'm becoming more and more aware. But some stuff I still need to address. Lady Phoenix you gave me a great example for doctors, I had serious issues with some of them. I'm still fighting with worrying too much or frustrating about some things that I can't affect but only with time I will know. Sometimes I think that it is just another distraction that my mind tries to create from my emotions. There is obviously a lot in front of me I need to work on.