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Why we suffer?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Yulia1975, Jan 28, 2016.

  1. Yulia1975

    Yulia1975 Peer Supporter

    I had 2 days relatively feeling well , it was a real treat after struggling for many months...
    But after visiting a good friend, who is a single mother, of 1 year old, who was recently diagnosed with brain tumor and now going thru surgeries, chemo.....I am falling down again.
    I left her house sobbing and feeling sorry for her, thinking about life and how unfair it is...
    Soon enough I started to feel foggy, my neck , jaw got very tight and clicky, again something pulling inside the mouth/neck muscles different directions.....its a very scary feeling...And I just know how to end it.
    Yes, I am sensitive and may be overreacting to many not so important things in my life, but I dont know other way!!! I worry about my baby, my husband, myself, even about strangers if they look upset I feel their pain...
    I want to be cool, relaxed, I want to be able to control my emotions.
    How can I change my personality? I dont think its even possible.
    Sometimes I feel that I can not take it any longer and want to run to psychiatrist to request a prescription for some kind of anxiety pills.... One of this days I guess:(
    David88 likes this.
  2. David88

    David88 Well known member

    I'm much like you -- sensitive, always worrying about others. Sometimes I say the same things to myself that you just wrote. Why can't I be different? It would be so much easier if I were an insensitive lout who didn't care about others. There are lots of those people, why can't I be one? (You might want to read The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. I found it helpful.)

    This is who I am. I can't get rid of my sensitivity and my power for empathy.

    But if I could, I wouldn't. They are my strengths, the things that make me special. I wouldn't want to deaden them with pills, and no therapist can change my personality.

    It's been very difficult for me to see my feelings as strengths. Sensitive, empathetic people are misfits in this world. My city has two radio stations that talk football 24/7. If you want to talk art, literature, or music, you're on your own.

    My struggle has been to stop wishing that I were someone else, and learn to treasure who I am. It's not easy. I came from a messed-up family where it was not safe to be authentic. I learned to hide my feelings away where nobody could find them, not even me. Hence my lifelong struggle with TMS. I'm working on breaking those habits, with the help of a good therapist. I would attribute my recovery, and I've improved greatly, to my progress in that struggle.
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2016
  3. mdh157

    mdh157 Well known member

    You cannot change your personality........all you can do is adapt it to be less 'wound up'. I have been able to do it somewhat but every day I notice myself at some point getting annoyed with something that doesn't really mean a darn thing.
  4. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    Yulia, you were blessed with an empathetic heart. I too get overwhelmed by the pain of others. Sometimes I don't even remember all the people I've promised to hold up in prayer!
    Something I've learned that has really helped me when the burdens of others seem too great, is to simply pray for "all those I've promised to pray for." Sounds silly, but it works.
    The world needs wonderful empathetic people like you. As some of the tech people say, "It's not a bug, it's a feature!!"

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