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Why I tend to run myself in the ground?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Mariskah, Feb 1, 2020.

  1. Mariskah

    Mariskah Peer Supporter

    I realised I tend to run myself in the ground, where others are more kind towards themselves and simply stop and take a break. Not that someone have asked me to do things, its just that I want to do so much (both for myself and as a favor for others that I myself have suggested that I could do) and fill up my weeks, and then i get so tired in the end that i have no choice than to cancel plans for a while. Others say this about me too, that I always do this. So my life is truly a roller coaster in the sence that i do a lot untill i have no choice than to be on the ride downwards again.
    Not sure how i can find a balance in this? I seem to cause this to myself again and again.
  2. BloodMoon

    BloodMoon Beloved Grand Eagle

    My suggestion is to start by making a promise to yourself not to volunteer your services (unless your services are needed in an absolute emergency) to anyone else for at least 3 months and during that time only do the things that you need/want to do for yourself or need/want to do at work or college or whatever. Also, pace yourself with the things that you need/want to do for yourself by prioritising what is the most pressing/urgent. Then break those tasks down into bite sized chunks, e.g. if something can be done over a few days, don't cram it into just one day. Also, always allow yourself some 'down time'/'me time' on a daily basis from all the activity to rest and relax. After the 3 months are up you should have a clearer idea of how much time you really have for offering to do things for other people; it may be that at present your life is too busy to spend a lot of time doing things for others, but you may realise that in a few months' time or whatever you will be able to spare some time to help them and know how much of your time you can offer...And when you do go back to offering your help make sure to tell those people you're helping that it may take a few days/weeks or whatever to complete whatever it is you're offering to do for them; that way you shouldn't feel under a lot of pressure to get things done for them asap. It sounds to me that you are a 'giver' and not a 'taker', so if and when people offer to help you with anything, consider accepting their offers of help. Look after yourself and protect yourself from 'burn out'.

    All good wishes.

    Last edited: Feb 1, 2020
    cool_change, Mariskah and Hayley like this.
  3. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    You should practice meditation. It will help you relax, live in the "now", focus on just being instead of doing something all the time. If you are always busy busy, it's harder to be forced to concentrate on yourself and improve yourself. In other words, you are always outside, never inside, with yourself. Then exercise will also help a little, try Pilates or Yoga or just stretching for 10-15 min every day. Take care.
    Circle and Mariskah like this.
  4. Mariskah

    Mariskah Peer Supporter

    Thank you for comment! This is really helpful. You are quite right, im a giver, and it is probably what is getting me into trouble because combined with what I want to do for myself, it just gets too much. I need to be more aware of this.
    Thanks again, and have a great sunday!
    BloodMoon likes this.
  5. Mariskah

    Mariskah Peer Supporter

    Yes, I have noticed that I cant enjoy the moment because Im so busy. Thank you for your advice!

    Have a great day!
    Sita likes this.
  6. Circle

    Circle Newcomer

    You and me both. I tend to set lofty goals for myself. No one is really holding me accountable to them except me. Those goals are typically above and beyond what's reasonably required, yet I put it on myself to absolutely smash the target. I absolutely have run myself into the ground, particularly by working from dawn to dusk while self-employed to get things ready for a break. That's when I gave myself the worst injury. But now I feel by focusing on relaxation, meditation, and realising pain can have emotional triggers or be triggered by fear of injury itself, I think I can begin to turn it around. But I do think it's necessary to stop going and going and going and going because our bodies are not capable of endless effort, even if our mind wills it.
    Mariskah and Sita like this.
  7. Mariskah

    Mariskah Peer Supporter

    Thank you for your comment. It sounds a lot like what Im doing. I think Im using it as a distraction from my feelings. Better to be too busy so I cant notice them. Im trying to be a lot more aware of it now, and setting a limit to how much I do each week, or Ill use weeks to recover every time.
    Circle and BloodMoon like this.

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