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Day 9 Why are we so hard on ourselves

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Jojo61, Jun 5, 2015.

  1. Jojo61

    Jojo61 Peer Supporter

    I was shocked to find out how mean I was being to myself. I was constantly criticizing myself about anything I could think of. I would scold myself for not doing enough tasks of my todolist knowing fullwell it was way to much for one day. And when I did take some time out to relax then either during or afterwards I would call myself lazy and feel guilty for having taken some time for myself. I realized last week when I was dressing my babygirl and I made a small mistake I told her 'Your mommy is so stupid sometimes'... I do not want to learn this kind of selfdestructive behavior to her(!). And I do not want to be mean to myself anymore. I actually wrote myself a letter the other day apologizing for all the (mental) self abuse and promising to be my own best friend again. I really felt like I connected to a part of me I guess I had stuffed away somewhere along the way.

    Now I have to keep working on being nice to myself. I still catch myself thinking thoughts like that but then I stop take a breath and (kindly) correct myself :) I already feel so much more relaxed and there's much more peace in my head. I love it.

    I love the SEP so far, it's a great help to me! I do it at my own pace. Sometimes I'll do 1,5 days in one go and then I might skip a day when I'm busy with... well life :) I do try to journal at least a bit everyday and read one succes story or a few forum posts. That really helps me to stay on point.
  2. SusieQ

    SusieQ New Member

    Jojo61 - here's a quote that might help you today:

    "A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking,
    because her trust is not on the branch, but on it's own wings.
    Always believe in yourself"
  3. Jojo61

    Jojo61 Peer Supporter

    That's a lovely quote SusieQ and so true. Thank u, I hope you are doing well!
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    That is a lovely quote about the bird. I sat in the sun in my backyard yesterday and
    heard a bird chirping. It was so peaceful and beautiful.

    I built a rock garden and small waterfall at my previous house and loved watching birds take a bath
    and then sit in the sun and dry themselves off. They looked so happy. It made me happy.

    Jojo, you're doing great. Reading about your positive TMS journey makes me happy.
  5. Jojo61

    Jojo61 Peer Supporter

    Thanks Walt,

    Reading your posts always makes me smile :)
  6. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Jojo61,
    I love your story of seeing how severely you treat yourself, and then apologizing and correcting yourself as best you can when it happens again. What more can we do?? These are old, painful pathways that we learned to keep ourselves safe, these critical voices. How wonderful to work skillfully with this, as you are. And enjoy the fruit of more ease. Bravo!!!!
    Andy B.
  7. Jojo61

    Jojo61 Peer Supporter

    Thanks Andy B, the kind people on this forum are a great inspiration for me to keep going!

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