Hi all, So my pain's been good up until a couple days ago- I know what is stressing me/ I think I know. I'm still in the stressful theater program that sucks up all my days, but I've had this person in my life- a person I genuinely thought I was going to be with, reject me, and it is taking a toll on me past few days. I've had a string of not so great relationships my whole life, and I guess because of my daddy issues (my father was an alcoholic and barely there for me) I've become afraid of abandonment and tend to see all relationships ending as a form of abandonment or failure on my part. This last person, I thought was a genuine nice person until he yelled at me a few weeks ago and said I was so negative, and that I can't even love myself how will I love another person, or allow myself to be loved. He had never ranted to me like that before. I don't know whether to make excuses for him or to say that what he did was wrong. We spoke the next day and I told him what he said wasn't right, then a few weeks later i emailed him and said I was really hurt by what he said and was struggling not to hate him. He never responded for 2 and a half months. When he contacted me last week, we had a good conversation, i spoke to him for about two hours before telling him how I felt. His phone died, and then he didn't call back, and responded 24 hours later apologizing and saying he had a busy day. I responded and told him that what he said to me spoke to my deep seated feelings of worthlessness, and not being good enough, and that I think things would be easier if we saw each other. I haven't heard back from him in three days. I don't know what to do. This sounds like such a silly thing to put on a TMS website, where we're all struggling with some kind of pain, but I've had this happen to me so much- people not responding to my messages, or ignoring me when I open up (I can feel my low back hurt as I say this) that I'm starting to feel really demoralized and worthless. I know some people would say 'oh leave him alone, he's not worth it, ' or 'you don't need someone like that' but I still feel shitty. On a different note, I never express to basically everyone around me my true feelings- and generally just hope they will get the subtext. Starting with my mum and talking about how our rough childhood affected me. She usually will start blaming herself and feeling bad- but today I started talking about it, and I felt anxious letting her now how their faults affected me. What am I to do?