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When you have lost a Loved one

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Eric "Herbie" Watson, Sep 30, 2014.

  1. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    I been gone for a little while in the last couple months, had three deaths of close family members this year. Those losses have sent fear, anger, hope, peace and love flying all through my system. I'm glad I know how not to fear fear now, I'm happy I know how to feel and release the anger. I'm glad I have learned how to feel my emotions and know I don't have to ignore them. I also have found when you feel these emotions to feel them yes and accept you have them as part of your healing process but when your done not running from the emotions and you don't fear or get angered at the emotions anymore then would be a good time to release them and let them go, if they come back then feel them again if you must but don't stay in these distressing emotions to long at a time ok. 2 to 5 minutes at a time is enough, maybe twice a day as you think about them or as they just pop up, feel them and then let them go. Meditate mindfully afterwards on peace and joy so you can get your emotional focus back to some positive feelings. We can sometimes focus on our negative emotions to long so don't live in these feelings of sadness in your heart and chest to long, just acknowledge what the emotion is, feel it and identify it if possible then get your mind back on positive reinforcement like walking in nature, laughing with friends, and soothing in all forms. Life is full of great adventure and sometimes great pain, emotionally and physically. I believe we should be prepared and know what to do for the emotional pain but always look to life's beauty as our supply for happiness. Learning to feel the emotion of happiness to some is as hard as learning to feel the sadness in our heart so stay balanced in these emotions, don't run from the fear, sadness or anger but don't bask in it either, feel the emotion and then get your thoughts on greater emotions of peace, love and joy. We have this time in our life now to become our greatest dream, we can choose to accomplish goals we once thought impossible. Being balanced by facing and feeling our negative emotions is great and it works but remember to release them and get your mind on thoughts of hope and gratitude after a little while so you can stay balanced in all you do. I say all of this because after three deaths just this year I got lost in grief and depression. I was joining into the emotions, don't make that mistake, you have only got to acknowledge your emotions, feel them and then move on to greener pastures.
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2014
    Kathi, Cap'n Spanky, Ellen and 2 others like this.
  2. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    This was a beautiful post, Herbie. Thanks for sharing.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  3. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    So sorry for all your loss, Herbie. Thanks for sharing what you have learned from the experience.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Herbie, I too give you my condolences about losing three close family members this year,
    and the worry that you had from your sister' s illness, too.

    I miss those I loved and who have passed in recent years, but it helps me to remember
    the good times we had together. I also think some or all of them had TMS without realizing
    what it is, and I think I know what that was. It helps me to love them and forgive them if necessary.
    nancy and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  5. nowtimecoach

    nowtimecoach Well known member

    Ahhh Herbie... I send a great big hug and condolences for your losses. I've gone through something similar and I believe the overwhelmingness of so much grief was the backbone of my TMS symptoms. So I am happy that this has happened NOW as opposed to a couple of years ago, before you were awakened in your consciousness to be able to process in the moment, the precious feelings of loss, sadness and grief.
    I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers my dear friend!
    nancy and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  6. blake

    blake Well known member

    Hello Herbie,
    So sorry for your losses. What a great message of hope. Thank you for sharing it.

    I agree with you that we need to both feel painful emotions, but then release them instead of hanging on to them. In my experience, denial of negative emotions and dwelling in these same emotions both mean they stay stuck somewhere in our body/mind, which can only lead to pain.
    Bless you
    nancy and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  7. Cap'n Spanky

    Cap'n Spanky Well known member

    I just want to say ditto to all the comments above. Very touching post Herbie! I lost my mother about a year and 1/2 ago. It's on my list of things to reflect and journal on.

    Your point about not getting stuck in negative emotions is so important.

    Your words are always so comforting and wise. They are a little chicken soup for the soul, if you excuse the cliche.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.

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