rudybarron
Peer Supporter
It’s interesting that this is the question to ponder since I was thinking about this earlier today. I’m getting close to the level of activity I was at prior to all this ramping up earlier this year. It was a really cool moment as I thought about it – I was excited to see the progress I’ve made.
I also realized that my fear isn’t about exercising or being physically active, it’s about my symptoms getting worse and starting to interfere with my exercise/physical activity. With the way I think, I instantly go to worst case scenario and catastrophizing. Or should I say I used to instantly go to worst case scenario and catastrophizing. Lately, I’ve been able to catch myself before I go down the rabbit hole. I’ve also started to take my original thought and turn it around to be more positive. This has helped me notice just how absurd some of my thinking is. It’s been very eye opening to see how quick I am to go negative and just feed the worry. I knew I did this, but I had no idea how frequent it was. It’s easy to see why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling now that I see how negative my thinking and self talk is.
This also got me thinking about where I am currently in the process. For a while I didn't think I'd be happy until all the symptoms were completely gone - until I was "fixed." Now, I'm more relaxed about it and know that some days will be good and other days may not go the way I want them to. It was pleasing to really sit back and notice just how much better I’m feeling now vs 2 months ago. It’s even more pleasing to sit back and think about how much better I’m feeling now vs 6 months ago. There’s still work to be done but it was nice to recognize the progress for once rather than putting my focus on a few things not going so well (another tendency of mine that I’m working to improve).
I also realized that my fear isn’t about exercising or being physically active, it’s about my symptoms getting worse and starting to interfere with my exercise/physical activity. With the way I think, I instantly go to worst case scenario and catastrophizing. Or should I say I used to instantly go to worst case scenario and catastrophizing. Lately, I’ve been able to catch myself before I go down the rabbit hole. I’ve also started to take my original thought and turn it around to be more positive. This has helped me notice just how absurd some of my thinking is. It’s been very eye opening to see how quick I am to go negative and just feed the worry. I knew I did this, but I had no idea how frequent it was. It’s easy to see why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling now that I see how negative my thinking and self talk is.
This also got me thinking about where I am currently in the process. For a while I didn't think I'd be happy until all the symptoms were completely gone - until I was "fixed." Now, I'm more relaxed about it and know that some days will be good and other days may not go the way I want them to. It was pleasing to really sit back and notice just how much better I’m feeling now vs 2 months ago. It’s even more pleasing to sit back and think about how much better I’m feeling now vs 6 months ago. There’s still work to be done but it was nice to recognize the progress for once rather than putting my focus on a few things not going so well (another tendency of mine that I’m working to improve).
