Stephanie71
Peer Supporter
still struggling on this road of back and forth with full acceptance of the diagnosis. Sometimes this syndrome makes me feel suicidal; I hate admitting that, but it’s true. It feels like a cruel betrayal. It haunts me like a ghost.
My pain and symptoms started 14 years ago when I began having weird pain and symptoms in my left leg, mostly behind the knee. The scariest symptoms is the constant tingling (not painful but ever present) on the outer ankle and foot when touched, pressed, or grazed. This has always made it hard to accept there is no nerve compression or damage. My pain is only in left side - never moved to right - and in low back, sciatic, glute, knee, hip. Some of those pains come and go and move around but there is always the tingling and the sciatic sensations when I stretch the leg and a weak unsupported feeling in left leg when straightened compared to right. Lots of left knee clicking and clicking in toes. Left leg is a bit weaker- feeling.
The pain is usually moderate, never severe. I have learned to live with it and compensate around it. Sometimes I think the initial structural problem caused me to move differently for so long, (I was a teenager and avoided doctors and treatment after hamstring injury, which kicked off the pain) that I then created imbalance and therefore pain in my hip, knee, etc.
From 19-23 I ignored the pain and rarely felt caught up in the syndrome. I had yet to learn about TMS. I stopped running and doing yoga and just lived life differently, compensating around the symptoms. But I largely ignored it. It wasn’t distracting me. In fact, what was distracting me we’re all kinds of other mental and emotional issues and addiction. But the symptoms were there. This makes it very hard to fully accept something structural hasn’t all along been causing the initial symptoms. Can anyone relate?
I had a low back MRI which showed minimal facet hypertropyhy at L5/S1, done by TMS doc Schecter, that he said was nothing. Hamstring MRI normal. Non-conclusive EMG tests.
I have done tons of TMS work, therapy, and recovery. I have been active even with the pain and symptoms. I have ignored it, pretended, believed and not believed. I am at my wits end because the syndrome has not ceased and I feel back at square 1. It is robbing the joy from my life.
I feel desperate to go back to mainstream medicine to see if certain issues were overlooked. Beyond that, I have a feeling that even something structural wouldn’t matter - that this is just the way my body is and feels now and it’s not going to change.
I’m not trying to earn pity but simply being honest. I learned about sarno in 2011, and I believe it and then don’t believe it. Constant symptoms tingling and sciatica? Why wouldn’t it stop, even for a week? When other stressors arose?
I fit the TMS personality closely. I am a worrier and fear-based and have a background of trauma and addiction, divorced parents, an emotionally abusive father when I was young. There are current stressors in my life. Even when I tackle all of this, do therapy, go running, practice yoga (my ultimate love that was stripped away when pain started) have fun, fall in love and get married, share about it, ignore it, journal, etc. the symptoms remain. So what do I do? I need help. Please help me.
My pain and symptoms started 14 years ago when I began having weird pain and symptoms in my left leg, mostly behind the knee. The scariest symptoms is the constant tingling (not painful but ever present) on the outer ankle and foot when touched, pressed, or grazed. This has always made it hard to accept there is no nerve compression or damage. My pain is only in left side - never moved to right - and in low back, sciatic, glute, knee, hip. Some of those pains come and go and move around but there is always the tingling and the sciatic sensations when I stretch the leg and a weak unsupported feeling in left leg when straightened compared to right. Lots of left knee clicking and clicking in toes. Left leg is a bit weaker- feeling.
The pain is usually moderate, never severe. I have learned to live with it and compensate around it. Sometimes I think the initial structural problem caused me to move differently for so long, (I was a teenager and avoided doctors and treatment after hamstring injury, which kicked off the pain) that I then created imbalance and therefore pain in my hip, knee, etc.
From 19-23 I ignored the pain and rarely felt caught up in the syndrome. I had yet to learn about TMS. I stopped running and doing yoga and just lived life differently, compensating around the symptoms. But I largely ignored it. It wasn’t distracting me. In fact, what was distracting me we’re all kinds of other mental and emotional issues and addiction. But the symptoms were there. This makes it very hard to fully accept something structural hasn’t all along been causing the initial symptoms. Can anyone relate?
I had a low back MRI which showed minimal facet hypertropyhy at L5/S1, done by TMS doc Schecter, that he said was nothing. Hamstring MRI normal. Non-conclusive EMG tests.
I have done tons of TMS work, therapy, and recovery. I have been active even with the pain and symptoms. I have ignored it, pretended, believed and not believed. I am at my wits end because the syndrome has not ceased and I feel back at square 1. It is robbing the joy from my life.
I feel desperate to go back to mainstream medicine to see if certain issues were overlooked. Beyond that, I have a feeling that even something structural wouldn’t matter - that this is just the way my body is and feels now and it’s not going to change.
I’m not trying to earn pity but simply being honest. I learned about sarno in 2011, and I believe it and then don’t believe it. Constant symptoms tingling and sciatica? Why wouldn’t it stop, even for a week? When other stressors arose?
I fit the TMS personality closely. I am a worrier and fear-based and have a background of trauma and addiction, divorced parents, an emotionally abusive father when I was young. There are current stressors in my life. Even when I tackle all of this, do therapy, go running, practice yoga (my ultimate love that was stripped away when pain started) have fun, fall in love and get married, share about it, ignore it, journal, etc. the symptoms remain. So what do I do? I need help. Please help me.
