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When is it time to live

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Boston Redsox, Apr 15, 2016.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    This is a question I ponder, I think sometimes buy journaling, mediation and all other aspects of the tms healing process, I find it that we don`t do the most important part of healing is moving on with our lives and discover our true strengths beyond the pain.

    I know that trying to continue focus on the healing is the worse thing to do, its a way of denial or moving on to the next step, yes its important to deal with emotions as they arise but to consume our daily life with tms practices thinking the more we do the faster we will heal is a formula for disaster .
    mike2014 and Janine28 like this.
  2. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Marco, I understand what you are saying, but for me reading the books etc gives me hope and without that I have nothing. So, do you think that living your life and moving forward is the main goal but with a little time each day spent on 'healing' in order to centre yourself could be a good formula? Not sure, just throwing it out there.
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member


    Yes a little healing everyday is a must I just meant the countless hours of digging and digging for some answer to pop up can be counter productive
  4. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Marco, I agree. We can take the digging a bit too far, there has to be a balance. But for me, reading books written by people like Dr. Sarno and reading success stories on this site are vital.
  5. IrishSceptic

    IrishSceptic Podcast Visionary

    I think you should take time out from the site and try and talk to a confidante. This site is great but living in the virtual realm can have problems. You seem to know whats required its just a matter of really committing and implementation!
    good luck
  6. yb44

    yb44 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I recall SteveO coined or at least used the term 'psychoarcheology', the digging for answers that you mentioned. Dr Sarno basically said the goal wasn't to find those elusive answers. The process of looking for them, the 'thinking psychologically' was more important. Sometimes you just end up with a new obsession so rather than focusing on your symptoms you find yourself going over and over stuff in an attempt to think psychologically. You swap one set of problems for another set of problems. It all gets a bit tiring and you reach a point when you are just trying too damn hard, putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Ask me how I know! Overall I agree with TMS treatment limiters who decide to just do this stuff for say 30 minutes a day and then do something else. I'm aware that's a real task if you are in severe pain or can't walk or whatever. I spent quite a bit of time at one stage lying flat on my stomach, arms and legs splayed out as if about to be frisked by narcotics officers meanwhile listening to the tv behind me playing endless episodes of Big Bang Theory so do anything you can.

    As for reading books, I made a deal with myself to read a serious non-fiction book, could be about TMS, neuropsychology, meditation, general self-help, but then read a work of fiction.
    Simplicity likes this.
  7. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Yb44 I agree with your book choices. I always need a good fiction on the go as well as a nonfiction (balance). By the way, I love the show the Big Bang a Theory.
  8. mc1986

    mc1986 Peer Supporter

    I really struggle with this as well. To me, I think "just living" feels like giving up. I recognize intellectually that this isn't the case but then again feelings aren't rational. I am learning that for me, overcoming tms, while difficult, doesn't necessarily need to be complicated. In fact the way that I over-complicate it is likely holding me back. For me, it seems I will need to learn to live well with pain in order to live without pain.

    I find myself looking over the forum mostly for reassurance, obviously stemming from a lack of confidence in the tms diagnosis. No matter how much I rationalize and pick apart my situation I can't think my way into believing. My obsessive thought patterns have just transferred from the physical to the psychological. Bottom line is I have all the tools I need. They aren't complicated, I just need to put them to use with constancy and stop thinking about it so much.
    eskimoeskimo likes this.
  9. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Some really great insights in this thread!

    Yeah, I think a certain amount of psychoarchaeology is valuable, but after a certain point, it's time to put down the journal and only journal when you've got something specific you want to work on (when you can tell you're about to learn something new). This is why I always link back to that "feeding the wolf vs. lancing the boil" post so much. Yes, I think that the neuroscience that backs up the "feeding the wolf" approach is very interesting, but mostly I link to it because I worry that many people put far too much into the "lancing the boil" approach. They think that if they come up with some miraculous insight or cry their eyes out reexperiencing some past trauma that they will get better, but I think it usually doesn't work that way. Most people usually just have to find a new way of living their life, and that is more about the present rather than the past.

    You sound like you're in a great spot, Marco. When you read a post like yours, with passion in it and a palpable sense of discovery, you just know that they are on the right track. Plus, in my opinion, yes, it really is all about just living your life, as it is right now. So, yes, the time to live your life is right now. If that means visiting the forum less, we'll miss you! Just make sure to write up your best tips at some point and come back to support the newcomers when you get better.

    Of course, if you tell a newcomer to the forum, "Just go and live your life!" they will probably just think you're crazy. I think that there is something about reading the posts and giving advice to a million other people that teaches each of us how to live our own lives.

    It's all just my own humble opinion, of course...
  10. giantsfan

    giantsfan Well known member

    Personally I've found that "just getting back to life" is one of the biggest components to recovery, possibly the biggest. Now to someone who hasn't been out and about in a long time I wouldn't advise to go speed dating, public speaking and running triathlons in their first week. For me taking steps has been helping me get back to the life I was once living. Set some goals and challenge your TMS by going out there and living life again. Similar to what Forest said I think when first being introduced into this wonderful work one may want to spend a bit more time journaling, learning, meditating, etc. After time I think most people know when they've hit the point of learning enough to get back out there.
    Forest likes this.
  11. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Marco,

    I agree with this. It is just a form of focussing on the pain, and fear. Sometimes when we approach TMS work, we treat it just like we did the endless search for medical causes. We forget that we're engaging the familiar underlying energy of "fixing" and "eliminating." While it is natural to want to get rid of our symptoms, this level of engagement is also a form of pressurizing ourselves, finding evidence that we "aren't doing it right," and buying into the fear. This is a fine point.

    I am happy you're thinking of grabbing and developing more of what is right here in front of you, rather than what is not. That is a good life lesson for any of us!

    Andy B
    Forest and yb44 like this.
  12. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you all for your thoughts on this issue, I feel it was important to bring up seeing I have been in this for awhile and all along realized I am working to hard and getting worse. Yes I am going threw one of the hardest times in my life ( besides my child be very ill), and I know my biggest allie is time. Time to heal time to move on as best I can..yes the pain can be a hurdle at times but we dont have any other choice. I am done with the books and the research,, I only use TGPD as my reference or HBP . thats it.

    I know I can heal I had days of feeling really good and that gave me hope, I am still not processing my emotions maybe I am still burying some things I know that its true but I am aware that is in my mind. Again I appreciated all of your thoughts and I am still waiting for more on this issue to me it a big one , once you have done all the reading and research, the SEP tms therapy and so on I feel our major issues arein the present in the right know....not some shit your uncle or friend said to you that hurt your feeling 20 yrs ago or even a parent who yelled or embarrassed you. Its what happening KNOW. Of course this is my opinion

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