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What to do with anger?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by jamejamesjames1, May 6, 2020.

  1. jamejamesjames1

    jamejamesjames1 Peer Supporter

    Reading the book Back in Control it makes it seem as if anger is one of the worst things for pain and that you have to get over it to heal, give up the victim mentality, etc.

    Others say anger is a repressed emotion.

    I didn't think I had any anger so I didn't have to deal with it. The more I think about things the more I see anger left and right.

    What do I do with it? Just feel it? If it's as bad as the book says, do I feel it and then try to get over it? Try to rationalize why it shouldn't bother me and move on right away?

    What about things that cannot be changed? (I'm making this up but I want to be superhuman but alas am not and that makes me angry).

    I guess I'm confused if I should be digging for anger or letting sleeping dog lie.

    Then how to process and deal and ultimately get over it to facilitate healing?

    I definitely don't have anything huge. I think it is little microissues that I'm repressing
  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I think each one of us has a different road BUT, having been 100% recovered for a long time, I can tell you that writing it down and reviewing it was essential for my recovery and has also kept me pain free for a long time. When you look at the list you can say " wow, no wonder I had symptoms" and it also gives you some objectivity.....pretend you are someone else reading your list (assuming it's honest)

    Work, relationships, family, politics, religion, money.... every aspect of your life. I want to rule at them all... I get angry at any obstacles, but I tell myself I am a nice Christian guy (ouch... my leg hurts)

    YOU are the descendant of a winner. Every single person alive on the planet is here because their grandfather,great grandfather, great,great,great grandfathers were WINNERS. That means they dominated their environment and left offspring. I can assure you that in 1422 AD dominating your environment was NOT being a super nice , funny guy... it meant working harder, providing better and often times winning a war. Anger had a vent, a direction and a purpose. Disposing of or beating the other guy who wanted to marry your great, great grandmother. Only the WINNERS have progeny so we are all the descendants of winners. ....and then we wonder where this atavistic rage came from?

    But for the last generation or two, this tendency to want to dominate your environment has been scorned, ridiculed, and even criminalized...(toxic masculinity...LOL) we are wired like lab rats to NOT dominate or show the resulting constipation of anger. Political correctness has sped up this huge chasm of cognitive dissonance. 100 years is a tick of a second on the evolutionary clock, yet we have gone from warriors to wusses in that short period... no wonder we all have TMS?

    I think deep down we are all afraid of admitting that we could be angry enough to take another persons life... That we could 'beat' somebody and leave them Nothing so we had something. That we would want to take somebodies something even though we have our own something. Sarno even said it "Secretly we fear retaliation" so we condition our mind to not even 'go there'

    I have found that acknowledging it is sufficient to get rid of symptoms. It is often hard to rectify with my religious beliefs..... But then again, Peter cut off Malchus' ear... and if ANYBODY got the 'jesus' message, it was him, huh?

    Or, you might be tiptoeing around an elephant, wondering why it's so shady (LOL).... but scribbling it down and making lists is a good starting place. I haven't had to hit anybody in the whole twenty plus years of being pain free... but I have had to admit I would love too....
    Marls and HattieNC like this.
  3. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    no doubt: the central issue is unfelt and repressed
    rage / anger / fury

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