What to do w/ emotions that come up during journaling?

[amarie133]

Hi,
I fully accept the TMS diagnosis and looking back, now recognize that previous bouts of pain in my life were TMS (the chronic throat pain for 2 years and unexplained shoulder, wrist and ankle pain in my 20's). I realize now much of this was due to emotional struggles I had with "friends," people in my life who repeatedly let me down, used me and were never there for me as I was there for them.

So I'm on day 3 or 4, and looking at childhood experiences. The one that repeatedly shows up is being abandoned and let down by friends. These previous experiences still shake me to the core to this day and I'm 34. I still have reoccurring dreams about particular "friends" who ignored me, hurt me, and walked all over me. I even had one last night.

So I'm doing journaling and have a lot of emotions come up, sadness, depression, emptiness, anxiety. I'm not quite sure what to do with these emotions. Should I meditate and let them go? Should I do some self talk and remind myself that I do have good friends in my life now? Or just sit with the emotional pain? Not sure what to do and am feeling quite raw and exposed right now.
Thank you.
P.S. I woke up with arm pain, but as I wrote in the journal, the arm pain dissipated, and now just replaced with emotional pain. Making progress

 

[hecate105]

I think we do have to 'feel' the pain that we previously repressed. Also we need to understand how the situation occurred so that we can act to stop it happening again. Perhaps as a child you were hurt by friends and that can be repeated. But now you are more mature you probably have better judgement of people and more realistic expectations of how loyal/committed etc they are. It is hard when we love/like people but know that we really cannot trust them. But it happens!
Feeling the emotions and processing them - whether by meditation or physical means - is paramount in dealing with tms, once we work out how we need to do this it gets easier. Personally I use meditation, but I tried several other ways without success. But a huge part of it is just the facing up to the situation and the journaling. Accept that you will feel raw at times. I felt like I went through the mill for the best part of a year - but after 22 years of illness - it was sooooo worthwhile! It gets easier as we get acclimatised to the process, but there are always bumps in the road - the trick is to drive carefully! Good luck...

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Amarie33,
I agree with everything hecate105 says. And you started with a pretty good list of ways to take it in yourself. Any way you can be with your feelings is good. You're learning over time to tolerate them more, to make friends with them. There is no perfect way.

The thing I would add is that if the journaling is too painful, you can back off a little, do less, revisit. You are describing exploring being hurt. Be gentle with yourself....

Andy B.

 

[amarie133]

Thank you hecate105 and Andy b for taking the time to respond. Much appreciation for the suggestions.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Amarie. I agee with Hecate and Andy. If journaling is a problem, take a short vacation from it.
Pain can persist if we think about it too much, and the same is when we think about its possible
psychological causes. Take a break and enjoy each day. Live in the present moment, instead of the past
that most likely harbors bad memories. You'll eventually discover what those are and will heal.

 

[Steve Ozanich]

The problem is in the first statement, "I fully accept the TMS diagnosis..." Much can be written on that, and has been, and much more on where it is placed in the paragraph.

You certainly get the main point that it's abandonment that causes the TMS, or more precisely the perception of abandonment as seen through the eyes of the child. But I would be willing bet my farm that it's merely a projected abandonment onto the friends. And, of course I would have to go out and buy a farm before I could bet against it.

 

[jlm]

Hello, amarie133, I agree with you that journaling helps, but for me, it was a temporary thing. The emotions from the event had a way of reoccurring. What seems to help for me is EFT, also know as tapping. The EF stands for Emotional Freedom and that's what I want. Nothing dealt with by tapping on meridians of the body while making certain statements has returned. If I can get the 'charge' down to zero or one, the feelings and the related pain are gone. Will it last forever? Hope so. Do I know what to do if it returns? Yes. Does it prevent NEW issues from showing up? No. I have one I need to deal with sometime today, but it's a current stressor, not past. I'm so excited I have been able to identify the problem and know how to deal with it.

The Tapping Solution.com has information. I am on their Facebook page so I get more there. Nick Ortner previously published a book, The Tapping Solution for Stress. I have purchased his new one, The Tapping Solution for Pain. It arrived yesterday, but I have dogs to walk before I can start it.

"When we deny negative emotions, they often grow stronger. When we accept them, however, we're able to release them." "With the setup statement, we train our brains to notice and accept our emotions so that we can then release them." page 74 Nick Ortner's new book.