What to do if the activity you regularly perform and avoid also is a source of stress?

[Bicepmuffins]

Hey, another question regarding recent recovery experience. My carpel tunnel has vanished completely regardless of abuse of my hands and forearms which is awesome, but tennis elbow seems to be painless unless im engaging in rigorous activities.

I am a video gamer and weight lifter. Now I know weight lifting is benign and for that, even though the pain does feel a bit 1 to 1 with use, and less like random emotional pains, I am still working on believing. BUT the video gaming has me looking for answers to questions for TMS i'm not sure exist.

What if the computer video games I play (and this weekend I played for about 25 - 30ish hours probably) also are a source of great inner conflict? I find myself very angry or depressed much of the day due to poor performance as its a competitive game and I become very hard on the "perfectionist" in myself. I still love the game at times, and am addicted. I didn't experience pain flareups that I know of from this directly at the time of the emotions, but in the final hours as Monday (work) approached (and also possibly associated to heavy lifting from that morning) I began to feel pain. Today has been difficult pain wise from tennis elbow in both arms but favoring the right side. I do have my arms extended out in front of me for the duration.

Thats an unhealthy amount of hours in front of a computer. Perhaps in this instance there could be actual pain from just obsessive playtime? I am having a tough time deciding between what my "normal activity levels are" and whats just downright unhealthy. Id also like to mention that even though tennis elbow is listed as TMS related. It does seem to subside with rest to some extent as with most others on this site who dealt with tennis elbow pain. I am not trying to instill doubts but its a doubt that I need addressed if I am really going to be convinced. I read that if its TMS, rest doesn't address the pain but I see counts of rest helping on this site in multiple places. Thoughts?

 

[zclesa]

In this case, does it matter if it's TMS pain or not? You've already aid you're "addicted" to the game and you acknowledge that you spend "an unhealthy" amount of time in front of the computer. You've said that it also makes you "angry and depressed much of the day". Doesn't sound like a good thing to be doing for yourself.

If you do want to continue playing, you will have to spend less time playing for sure. 25-30 hours playing video games over the weekend is not a "normal" level of activity at all. NO addiction is healthy - the all serve to suppress emotions. And if you find your perfectionist side getting angry or depressed, then you'll either have to start putting that perfectionist in it's place, or perhaps you could find a less competitive game. Are there any "fun" but less competitive games you enjoy? Something more "playful" and less stressful?

 

[Bicepmuffins]

Thanks for the consideration. I really do appreciate your comments and I am always just full of questions but I feel once I get past them, I can fully accept TMS.

Its definitely a discussion to consider. I think it does matter whether its TMS or not because then I will at least understand my physical limitations. This would be the only game worth playing to me, I love for the competition of it and I do love the game and have a social community online that I rely on for camaraderie's sake. There are 100s of thousands of people around the globe playing this game to around the extent that I am, perhaps mostly less but they exist and typically are okay. However, we do all agree the game can definitely put you in a bad state of mind. For any curious readers, its Fortnite.

BUT you are right in the end. Addiction is unhealthy, I should moderate how much time I spend playing the game. Every time I do poorly, my motivation to improve doubles down and I try to push myself harder and harder and it can be enraging. This is a mechanic i've used to push myself my whole life with usual success and equal parts strife. I've been trying to express my anger more during playtime rather than suppress to offset but the mental effects are apparent, but it does pass the time. I love the game very much, hate the game very much.

The answer is to figure out how to moderate that drive, lower expectations with the game and obviously spend less time on it but my concern is, if it is Tennis Elbow, and I sink that much time into something else that isn't as mentally stressful, will I hurt or is the stress of competition the potential catalyst for the pain in this instance? The reason for playing was a lot in part of "returning to my regular activities" and this to me was the likely cause of my pains in the first place.