What should I do in this situation?

[Richsimm22]

I am hoping some of you can relate to this situation and offer advice.

Sometimes I can be thinking away as I'm driving or whatever and I start to think of a situation where I was stressed with what someone said or an argument I might of had and I go over what was said in my head and I think of things I should have said and it can really get me wound up.
I was just wondering how I should go about things in this situation. Do I keep thinking about it and get as annoyed about it as I can? Do I journal about it later? Any advice?

 

[Gigalos]

A couple of things that seem to help me:
1) use affirmations
- I accept myself, I appreciate myself, I love myself (when you're beating yourself up over things you should have done)
- I forgive and let go easily (when you're mad at someone/something)
2) sit back, meditate for a couple of minutes and experience any emotions without judgement, just let it flow out... finish with a thought of something that really makes you happy
3) realize that you are living Now. This helps you put things in perspective. What's done is done, the past is just thoughts in your head. The future too..
4) realize that thinking things over and over and over is just a way of your brain trying to distract you.

hope it helps,
Giga

 

[Ellen]

Gigalos has given excellent advice above.

I would just add a metaphor that Alan Gordon uses that I find helpful--Thoughts are like trains arriving in a station. We can either jump aboard and go where they take us, or we can stand in the station and watch them come and go. So when I become aware that I've jumped aboard a train (of thought) that is taking me to a stressful place, I jump off. I do this by first acknowledging that this is just a thought that is unproductive and stressful; then I take a deep breath and sink into the present moment. Then, I shift my awareness to something else more positive.

The trick is becoming aware that we've jumped on the train. Practicing mindfulness meditation is the best tool I know of to develop this awareness. The more I practice this the better I am at catching myself jumping on stressful trains. It gives you that space in which you can choose to think and do something else. It's made a huge difference in my day-to-day stress level and happiness.

Your question is such an important one. This kind of stressful thinking is unproductive (we can't work things out with people in our thoughts) and just creates tension which feeds TMS. If the thoughts keep coming back or seem to play a role in your TMS, then journaling about them is a good way to get them out of your head and on to paper.

 

[Richsimm22]

Great answers. Thanks guys that helped alot.